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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think that DD should use a car seat?

56 replies

wittyusername · 07/12/2008 21:38

Many of my relatives who are aged 45+ say that I shouldn't worry about a car seat for DD (nearly 21 months old)when they offer us a lift I'm learning to drive so not got a car yet).

My sister told me about a family gathering just before New Years' Eve and I told her that I'd like to go but can't really as DD can't go in a car without a car seat, to which she replied "It's up to you", in an offhand manner as if I was being overly precious about it .

Isn't it illegal, not to mention risky, to let my DD just sit in my lap in a car journey?

OP posts:
nappyaddict · 31/12/2008 12:10

How heavy is she? They can go on those booster seats from 15kg and you could just keep it under the pushchair or something.

Shoshe · 31/12/2008 12:20

nappy, a child under the age of 4 should NOT be on a booster with a adult seat belt.

Their bones are not strong enough to withstand the seatbelt in event of a crash.

They should always be in a 5 point harness.

Blondeshavemorefun · 31/12/2008 13:01

children should always go in proper car seats for their age

at 21mths she needs to go in a proper 5 point harness eat

so either buy one from halfords, prob about the £60 cost for a basic one,borrow one froma friend who isnt going out or dont go

nappyaddict · 31/12/2008 13:25

My friend's little boy at 23 months is 18kg and is on a booster with seat belt cos he is too heavy for a 5 point harness now. Halfords and mothercare both said from 15kg that it was ok. I think he was on it a bit before 18kg cos he was too tall for his stage 1 car seat.

Blondeshavemorefun · 31/12/2008 13:31

there is no way that i would put a child under 2 if not under 3 on a booster seat with back, but no harness/straps

my 3.5 is still in a 5 point harness, though prob will go in booster seat with back in a month or two

pamelat · 31/12/2008 13:33

My older relatives are like this too, as though its me being precious about a car seat and my DD is only 11 months!

nappyaddict · 31/12/2008 13:33

what can you do though if they outgrow them before then?

pamelat · 31/12/2008 13:34

some car seats are given away free on freecycle etc.

Whereas I would not trust a second hand one, its better than using nothing?

Also, I would imagine that if someone has gone to the trouble of using freecycle to give one away for nothing then they are pretty trustworthy. I would be more apprehensive about second hand ones for sale than free.

SachaF · 31/12/2008 13:49

Agree, get a car seat. Just check it fits most cars (retailer can check this for you). I have a van that I drive and a car at the weekend, we interchange the seat easily (ds is just 2 years), we even take the seat out and leave it at the nursery as dh does drop off and I do collect. We have short seat belts in the Toyota so it just fits, whereas easily fits in my mum's Skoda. DON'T let dd go in car without childseat! (apart from taxi's as per the law, even then if long distance most taxi firms will use your carseat and can store it for your return journey if required).

Seona1973 · 31/12/2008 13:59

the britax evolva 123 does from around 9 months to 11 years (from 20lbs). It has a 5 point harness that can be removed when they get older. We had to get one of these for dh's car as the maxi cosi priori xp had buckle crunch in his. I still use the priori xp in my car and it is held in well as it has a seat belt tensioner to help keep the seatbelt tight.

LoulouCapone · 31/12/2008 14:04

Yep def get a seat somehow.

We stayed with our inlaws when my DD was about 2. We were going out for the day with MIL, SIL, DN. They wanted to go in one car, which would have meant DD going on one of our laps.
I said "no, it's fine, we'll follow in our car". Which didn't go down well.
So I explained that I didn't agonise over paying loads for a really good seat, to take the risk of not using it for no good reason. Again, not received well.
So I caved and said, fine we'll all go in one car. DD can go in her car seat and DN can sit on SIL's lap. That shut them up!
Not quite the same I know.
I have a spare car seat in case either of them need to go in a different car, Just get a nice light universal one - you'll need one when you pass your test anyway.

Blondeshavemorefun · 31/12/2008 14:05

nappy - not sure tbh

maybe having a toddler in a car seat that they are over heavy for is better than in one with only a back to support them

i am very suprised that at 23mths he has out grown his seat

nappyaddict · 31/12/2008 14:18

he's very big for his age looks more like 4 than nearly 2. halfords and mothercare told her it wasn't safe to use the car seat over the weight it had been tested for.

NAB3lovelychildren · 31/12/2008 14:19

It is illegal but that would make any difference to me, it is safety all the way.

Shoshe · 31/12/2008 14:25

i have one of these which i use for my larger children, I cant believe your friend been told to put them on boosters

nappyaddict · 31/12/2008 14:26

that's the sort she has a highback booster. but he is over the weight for the harness.

Shoshe · 31/12/2008 14:31

My 5 year old sit has the harness, she is quite slight and the seat belt does not sit in the right place.

This is from Wiki.

ooster seats are recommended for children until they are big enough to properly fit a seat belt. Seat belts are engineered for adults, thus being too big for small children. Children under the age of 4 and/or under 40 lb should use a seat with a 5-point harness instead of a booster seat. [8]

Booster seats "boost" the child and allow the seat belt to sit firmly across the collar bone and chest, with the lap portion fitted to the hips. If the seat belt is not across the collar bone and the hips, it will ride across the neck and the stomach, causing internal damage in the event of a collision. The seat belt will tighten up and travel to a hard location to restrain its occupant. So if the seat belt is on the stomach, the sought hard location is the spine, resulting in internal damage as the seat belt slices through the organs to reach it.

Reallytired · 31/12/2008 14:38

When my son was about 20 months we got a car seat for about £35 from Argos. Admitally it was hard as a board, but it met all the British safety standards.

I would not use a booster seat before the age of four. Its just too easy for a child to get out of a booster seat if they want to. Most children do not have the strength in their fingers to get out of a five point harness.

At least at the age of four you can use delayed punishments if they dare take their seat belt off. Ie. if my son dared to take his seat belt off he knew that he would not be allowed any TV for the rest of the day. Such a punishment would not work with a younger child as they have no concept of time.

nappyaddict · 31/12/2008 14:40

I don't know which make she has but it said on the box the harness was only designed for use up to 18kg and then they adult seat belt should be used.

nappyaddict · 31/12/2008 14:45

i think it might be this one

Seona1973 · 31/12/2008 15:37

it might be the evolva 123 which has a harness up to 40lbs and then you use the adult belt. Ds is not far off 40lbs at 2.3 years.

Seona1973 · 31/12/2008 15:44

that nania one in the link says to use an adult seat belt from 15kg so they still wouldn't have the harness at 23 months

Blondeshavemorefun · 31/12/2008 15:52

nappy not suprised your friends child doesnt fit in that seat - that style is group 0 is meant up to about 9mths old!!!!

that is a hand held seat for babies and not toddlers!!

she needs a group 1 seat or a 123

see here

if i were your friend, i would be striaght down to that shop and get that member of staff sacked for imcompenance (sp)

nappyaddict · 31/12/2008 15:59

it is a 123 did i link to the wrong one?

Blondeshavemorefun · 31/12/2008 16:08

the link had lots of pics, i assumed it was the first one

but if it is a 123, they are meant up to the age of 11, these are the ones which the harness can be taken off at about 4 and then used as seat with back

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