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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to think that when I ask dh for a specific present he shouldn't buy something completely different?

52 replies

LadyLauraStandish · 05/12/2008 10:16

Dh is worse than useless at buying presents.

'twas my birthday.

I showed him these earrings

onyx earrings

He bought me something remarkably like this

peridot pendant

Am I missing something - are these two things is any way alike? Or is he missing a few brain cells?

OP posts:
shitehawk · 05/12/2008 10:19

Who was it on here who asked her dh for a cross stitch kit, and he bought her a piano?

That's men for you. At least he bought jewellery, which is a start ... and the pendant is pretty.

thisisyesterday · 05/12/2008 10:19

hmm well, did you specifically say "i'd really like these for my birthday? please would you get them?"

or was it mroe a "ooh these are nice, hint hint"?

if dp doesn't ask me specifically if I want something then I wouldn't expect it, even if I had asked.
if he had asked me and i'd told him though, then yes id think it's a bit odd

Original poster
LadyLauraStandish · 05/12/2008 10:21

Oh no, I said "I would like these earrings."

Maybe that was too hard for him?

OP posts:
shitehawk · 05/12/2008 10:23

You need to be even less subtle with him.

"These are the earrings I want you to get me for my birthday, please".

OblomovOYeFaithful · 05/12/2008 10:23

laugh at piano.
dh is fab at buying presents. i have to be careful what i say. even a vgue reference to minorly liking something, and next thing..... its mine.

OblomovOYeFaithful · 05/12/2008 10:24

yes, be more direct.
i want THESE.
not THOSE,not similar, THESE.
[GRIN]

Original poster
LadyLauraStandish · 05/12/2008 10:26

I have to say the piano is worse.

At least it was jewellery - even if it was the third pendant he has bought me with a green coloured stone in the last 4 years.

OP posts:
claw3 · 05/12/2008 10:30

Is he colour blind

Original poster
LadyLauraStandish · 05/12/2008 10:32

I think he goes slightly mad as my birthday approaches.

Maybe it's some sort of autopilot?

"Oh no, it's Laura's birthday tomorrow!!!
Must go to jeweller....................
Must buy pendant with green coloured stone."

OP posts:
OblomovOYeFaithful · 05/12/2008 10:32

does the man have an overwhelming compulsion to buy a green pendant, often ?
'i'm just off to b&q darling, for some wallpaper' = comes home with green pendant.
'i'm just nipping to tesco's to get some hot cross buns' = comes home with pendant

Original poster
LadyLauraStandish · 05/12/2008 10:36

The last two pendants were emeralds so he is widening his range by choosing peridot this year.

I think he is a hazard in jewellery shops, milling around green coloured things like a moth to a flame..........

OP posts:
zenandtheartofbaking · 05/12/2008 10:37

He upgraded your choice, though, didn't he? Maybe he thought you were being self-sacrificing and wanted to be more generous?
And maybe he looks through your jewellery box, sees the green pendants and thinks "Ah, she has a few of these; she must like them ... ."

claw3 · 05/12/2008 10:38

According to colour therapy:-

Green is the colour of balance and harmony. It is the colour of the heart chakra and is associated with healing and all matters of the heart. It is the colour of kindness, compassion, caring and sharing.

Quite sweet, if you believe in that kind of thing

zenandtheartofbaking · 05/12/2008 10:41

Why don't you just give him the address of a jeweller you like and let him choose in a limited space?

for example - does lots of emerald

Original poster
LadyLauraStandish · 05/12/2008 10:41

Yes, zen, maybe that's it - maybe he forgets that he is the one who bought me my fine array of green pendants.........

OP posts:
Original poster
LadyLauraStandish · 05/12/2008 10:43

You see I thought I was being helpful by showing him the earrings - he could buy those online, no real shopping required!!!

Are you being cruel, Zen? "Lots of emerald" indeed!!!!!!

OP posts:
OblomovOYeFaithful · 05/12/2008 10:45

lol at zen - she has a few of those, she must like them. ha ha.

OblomovOYeFaithful · 05/12/2008 10:47

claw, not quite so sweet when you get to the fourth one. and the man is incapable of buying any other colour.

Original poster
LadyLauraStandish · 05/12/2008 10:47

I couldn't let my dh see that website - I saw Jade things on it. Just imagine - a whole new world of green for him.

OP posts:
macherie · 05/12/2008 10:47

I elimianated this recurring problem from my life by buying all my own presents, wrapping them beautifully, then giving them to dh, to give back to me on my birthday/Christmas morning.

Unromantic,yes, but I am never disappointed

Original poster
LadyLauraStandish · 05/12/2008 10:48

You speak sense, macherie!

OP posts:
OblomovOYeFaithful · 05/12/2008 10:49

yes, and he has 15 jumpers, never worn, that mil knitted.
oh he must like them. i'll knit him another.

belgo · 05/12/2008 10:50

What you should have said was:
'give me your credit card, this is my birthday present'

zenandtheartofbaking · 05/12/2008 10:50

He does sound quite sweet though.
My dh does the same - he asks me what I want and then chooses something a bit similar - he really is addicted to the idea of "surprise" and "unique thought" in a present!
It has mixed results but I kind of like it.

Sorry about the emerald. [muffled snuffly laugh]

He obviously has something he really likes about you and green. Maybe he just thinks you look beautiful in that colour?

Original poster
LadyLauraStandish · 05/12/2008 10:53

I absolutely loved the very first emerald pendant he bought me.

I think he is a bit like Pavlov's dog.

"The green pendant produced a good response, therefore I must keep buying green pendants and I will get the same response."

OP posts:
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