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Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To not want to talk to any other mums

74 replies

unsociable · 30/11/2008 19:56

Am a regular but have name changed as know people on here in RL.

I hate going to playgroups as I can't be arsed making conversation with other mums who bore me talking about their pfb's and the colour of their child's poo. I go for DD's sake as I think it is good for her.

AIBU to want to avoid these people?

OP posts:

myredcardigan · 30/11/2008 19:58

Just stay at home and talk to yourself then!

scifinerd · 30/11/2008 19:58

I am sure you won't have a problem. One look at your sour face and noone will want to talk to you anyway.

nickytwotimes · 30/11/2008 19:58

YANBU.

Personally, I love my toddler group, but it is not for everyone.

My dh would rather stab pins in his eyes than make small talk with others about his child.

weepootle · 30/11/2008 19:59

Why don't you talk about what you like to talk about then? What sort of interesting convo's do you start?

lilymolly · 30/11/2008 19:59

Oh you miserable cow

I love going to playgroup to meet other mums and catch up with the craic
Believe me.......we do NOT talk about poo and PFBs

In fact as dd has been so clingy and miserable recently when I have stayed with her, I have been leaving her on her own and doing some sitting watching tvchores. And I miss going

Having said that I am a pretty sociable, gobby type of girl, so maybe its a personality thing?

pudding25 · 30/11/2008 19:59

But she's going out for the sake of her daughter. Surely that's a good thing even if she's a miserable cow!

alicet · 30/11/2008 20:00

Yes YABU. If you are not interested in the conversations then talk about other things that do interest you.

Or sit in the corner with a sour face and you probably won't be bothered by anyone and your dd can still play.

asdmumandteacher · 30/11/2008 20:00

No - i hated playgroup stuff - competitive mum shite etc..never felt like anyone really cares about you but just about their precious DC's and it was all pretty fake etc

As my mum has often said to me women can be so bitchy and fickle

glasgowstyle · 30/11/2008 20:00

yanbu

Habbibu · 30/11/2008 20:01

Agree with weepootle - talk about anything you want. People talk about their children in the first instance simply because it's a common frame of reference, and so breaks the ice, but it doesn't have to stay that way. Change the subject - ask them about other things in their lives. You might be pleasantly surprised.

MsSparkle · 30/11/2008 20:01

I have the opposite problem. I go to playgroups and can't talk to people because i am very shy and find it very hard to talk to people.

I think you should make some effert, otherwise who will you talk to all day?

honestfriend · 30/11/2008 20:04

I'd give it a bit longer.
I avoided playgroups etc for that very reason and also thinking I'd be an older mum- in my early 30s at the time, 20 yrs back, and that I would be surrounded by 20 yr olds.
I was wrong. There were plenty of educated older mums there- but I missed the boat and they made their own friends- I bumped into some years later and wishes I had joined in, and not been such a snob. Give it another go.

2manychips · 30/11/2008 20:06

I'm prob one of those mum's that talk about their pfb's poos but I cant imagine how I would've got through those early months without the advice,support and company.

slobberchops · 30/11/2008 20:07

YANBU personally I find many playgroup mums, especially of pfbs, excruciatingly dull. I am most certainly fed up of winding the f..king bobbin up.

puffling · 30/11/2008 20:07

YANBU as you're not describing a situation where you're causing harm to anyone.

peacelily · 30/11/2008 20:10

YANBU, I was only on Mat leave for 7 months and found the groups and the women in them horrendous, had to be feeling very desperate for company to even go, esp after everyone had raved on about how great they were .

dd is 2 now and have just started meeting like minded pleasant parents that dh likes too. We meet up together though as families as we all work, Mum and baby thing not for me at all, far better when there's blokes there to modulate things a bit.

And some Mums and HIDEOUSLY competitive and boring about their dcs it's true but try a few you might find one with Dads there too (SAHDs are an icreasing breed round our way) and interesting people you never know.

katch · 30/11/2008 20:11

I found the whole thing too much like the playground - if you're not one of the in crowd, no one wants to be seen talking to you.

You can make opening gambits 'til you're blue in the face, to no avail.

I now find the playground too much like the playground!

LittleMonkeysMummysAXmasFairy · 30/11/2008 20:12

YANBU - I recently plucked up the courage to go to my local parent and baby group. The youngest 'baby' is question was 3 WTF!! Why weren't they at the toddler group? No-one took me on and they actually glowered at me when DD (9m) started crying for her bottle!!

I'll certainly never be going back!!

asdmumandteacher · 30/11/2008 20:17

slobberchops lol!I know and its sung with such enthusiasm - does my nut in!

MadameCheese · 30/11/2008 20:17

Why are you on here?
TBH I'm probably a bit like you, I tried a toddler group and the screaming children did for me a bit. Actually I think it's more because I'm not brilliant with meeting new people and so felt a bit self-conscious. That said it is good to get out for a bit of adult conversation even if it is inane.

asdmumandteacher · 30/11/2008 20:20

Its ok on here cos you can take the pee, have a laugh etc and their is anonymity, at one of these hideous groups you have to actually come face to face with the SAHM 'yummy' mummy brigade

ChukkyPig · 30/11/2008 20:33

YANBU I simply don't go to any of the group type stuff. It's not compulsory!

Pantofino · 30/11/2008 20:44

I think a lot of people are in the same boat. You have a baby and suddenly you are thrust into these new social scenarios. You're sat with a load of complete strangers, but hey, you have one thing in common - you all have a baby. So you talk about the baby, isn't yours cute, how old is she now, does she sleep....ad infinitum. Then it's time to go home again.

I'm sure these other mothers have deeper interests but it can be hard to get that point. I understand where you are coming from but i think you are BRU to "not be arsed". Either make an effort or just don't go....

Ronaldinhio · 30/11/2008 20:47

yanbu

women with children are truly boring and often have nothing interesting to say

littleboyblue · 30/11/2008 20:50

I hate playgroups. I must be unlucky because most of the one's I've been too, all the adults are ignoring their dc's and concentrating talking about how much they hate their kids and how shit their husbands are. Boring!
I also don't think it's fair that ds sees me telling him off for acting in a way that is unacceptable (snatching toys and so on), but he sees other children getting away with it because the mum's would rather have a moan.

I know not all places are like this, but it does take the motivation out of going for me.

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