To not want to talk to any other mums

[unsociable]

Am a regular but have name changed as know people on here in RL.

I hate going to playgroups as I can't be arsed making conversation with other mums who bore me talking about their pfb's and the colour of their child's poo. I go for DD's sake as I think it is good for her.

AIBU to want to avoid these people?

Lol - this rarely spotted creature is currently to be found in my house! Well, unless a SAHD is one of those types that are in fact an honorary woman, then they are given the cold shoulder even more than a WOHM (unsurprisingly). DH has tried two P&T groups and hated them both. But then he does find it hard in social groups at the best of times, so it was a none starter really.

I called my friend crying after my first visit at the P&T group.
She found it hilarious when I sobbed, "is this what my life has come to?"
Looking back I think I had PND.

thing i hated in baby group was people talked in past tense as if they were dead!i used to be teacher/solicitor etc

my hv said to me "what did you used to do".made me feel as if i had expired.the assumption i didn't do anything anymore

i couldn't wait to get back to work.found mat leave stultifying.wanted to talk about something other than babies

but also meet some nice mums too (they do exist)

I think it depends, do you want to make some new friends and the group. I went to a lovley group for years, yes lots of baby talk (no talking about poo though - thats a new one on me) but we did talk about other things too! However I have been to some horrible, cliquey groups where nobody gives you the time of day too! Up until recently I went to a toddler group which was ok as long as a) I was in the mood and b) I made the effort to mix with the other parents and grand parents. When I first started going - I could'nt be arsed to try and mix but once I go t over myself I made a few friends! {grin]

I was like this at first with ds- with dd I didn't go to baby groups as I was too busy at uni so when I first went to get ds weighed and found there was a baby group attatched to the clinic I found a lot of the women far too in my face and desperate to be friendly which I found a bit too much. I have however now stopped being bothered by it and actually find it nice to see the same faces every week, you soon realise the people you actually would be friends with even if you didn't have dc the same age. I think children as a common denominator in general leads to incredibly dull conversation

YANBU.

Just because you all have children doesn't necessarily mean that you will have anything else in common, so kid chat is the usual opening gambit. If you try to move away from that after the initial chitchat, you'll soon see from their response whether they're thinking 'Thank God for an intelligent conversation at last!' or really prefer to just stick to the kid chat thing. Some of us swing both ways - I like a spirited debate but I can also chat about poo with the best of them.

Only boring people get bored - if you are such an intelligent, scintillating person you should find it really easy to raise the level of conversation! It is very patronising to stand at the door and make instant judgements about people you have never met!

I agree, OP. Great for the kids, but the conversations are DULL and repetitive.
Thanks goodness my DS goes to nursery twice a week, so I can avoid them. I would prefer to be with DS myself, or go our with a friend and her kids.

You do need to try, even a little. If you don't you are showing your little one how not to integrate!

Of coures people are going to talk about their babies - it's all you know that you have in common just now. Have a conversation, you might actually enjoy it and make a friend or two.

If I didn't work (part-time)and DS didn't go to nursery, I guess I would have to go to these playgroups to give DS an opportunity to meet other kids. Thankfully that is not the case at present.

'These people' are no different to you. I suspect you are really shy/anxious rather than superior.

i think playgroups can be a minefield. some are full of social climbers (honestly!) who want to know where you live, what you do/ what dh/p does, who you know in the area, what school your older children go to and then they will peg you somewhere on a scale of interest.

that may sound harsh but....its the experience i have had

I don't mind talking to other mums it is much nicer than sitting in a corner on your own. However I don't want to make any more friends I don't have the time I already get stressed because I don't have enough time to spend with ds on my own.

I think this superior attitude is so sad!
A person is not defined by their job so it should be irrelevant whether the people at the groups work or not. People can be a laugh a minute and extremely interesting if they work or stay at home; and equally they can be terminally dull if they are at home or have a really high flying career.

You go into a room with about 20 different people and you make assumptions, when you know absolutely nothing about them!
My SIL is just having her first book published, if you met her at a toddler group she wouldn't mention it, she would most likely say ' How old is your DC?' or ' Isn't the weather dreadful?'. If you are such interesting, witty, erudite women, it should be a doddle to move the conversation on and discover that she isn't merely a mother and has no interest whatsoever in talking about how soon her DC sat up or schools.
You may have someone who is training for the next Olympics, business woman of the year etc -they are not going to mention it as an opening gambit!
The best thing that you can do for your DCs if you want them to be sociable, confident and outgoing is to show them how to do it-not miserably sit in a corner saying 'This is dire'! Of course it will be, if you pathetically make no effort!

yabu
talking about poh is the norm in my world

Why not be the person to change it then 2Advent!!

YANBU. The unreasonable mum would be the one who can?t stand it so just does not bother going at all. Good on you for keeping going for your child?s sake.

piscesmoon no it is the norm in my world, poo rules(sn world)

Tbh, I quite like my playgroup, but it has taken some time to crack into it. I think I've relaxed a bit more the older dd is getting and I'm now very comfortable to sit and natter away to anyone.

However, the main topic of conversation is the children. I don't really know many of these women as great friends, so therefore I watch what I say. It's mainly kept to baby talk because it's the easiest thing to talk about and it's the thing everyone has in common. The women that I'm more friendly with, we talk about us and our lives a bit more because we know each other a bit better.

At first I hated playgroups, but that was because I wasn't making the effort and just thought 'this is awful.' It's a two way thing though, everyone has to make a little effort.

I guess, like anything else, it depends on who's at your playgroupand what you want from it.
If someone wants interesting chat that doesn't revolve around children and she doesn't get it, then she's going to be bored. I don't see what's "superior" about that. If you're happy talking about kids most of the time, that's fine too.

Doh. Do I win the prize?

I have got past that stage but we certainly didn't talk about DCs all the time!