To be a hairs breadth away from taking my teen out of secondary school...

[ConniesCuriousCandle]

....because of the girls she is aspiring to be mixing with

she is making my life a misery by insisting that girls who i really truly dislike with every fibre of my being are 'lovely girls' and she 'likes chavs'

she comes home and trys to be all fake pleasant for about 5 seconds until something does not go her way but i just cant stand the fake ness knowing that all day she has been f ing and blinding with the wannabe sluts

sorry for bad language but she is and has for a while ruined my life

her tone with me is revolting and arrogant. she does not give a shit when i cry and wail...she smirks

i would just rather keep her home and not have to endure the daily sending into the sluts lions den that she so reveres. The only thing she seems to be learning is how to be more like them

sorry for language

As i am still at school and yes i know how this seems, i have a child you must think i am a slut.

Just so you know, i don't sponge off the government and i hate chavvy girls. Sure, you're daughter thinks it's cool to interact with them but by playing to her level she'll see what she appears to be like to other people.

I'd say buy her a mini skirt or some big gold hoops as a 'gift' if she rejects it politely then it signals you're daughter is ok and will eventually grow out of it. If she rejects it rudely it shows she if offended and therefore doesn't see her so-called friends to be like this nor does she consider herself a chav. This just means she's mixing in with the wrong crowd but not the type you think.

If she accepts the gift with no thanks then you're in BIG red. The action i would take at this point is being very hard on her and actually so your thoughts to her. Even if this does sound harsh she'll meet the real world, add that if she picks her friends over her caring mother, then she has got her priorities wrong. There onwards it is up to her and it is your choice what to do as further action.

If she accepts the gift with thanks then this symbolises that she thinks you approve her and her girly gang, put the record straight.

I hope all goes well.

Hi Connie, jst to say this sounds horrible but very normal haven't read all of thread but it seems your daughter hass loads of positive qualities as elicited by you!

i haven't got a teenagaer but i work with adolescents (boys and girls but girls take up most of my caseload) and I was a VERY rebellious EXTREMELY hard to handle teenagare once myself. Re the chat websites thing, they are OBSESSED with them, I've virtually begged some of the young women I work with to get off the PC and do something but it is a national obsession which operate regardless of class or upbringing. My supervisor who'e a consulant psychiatrist despairs at the way her 14 year old spends so much time on myspace (v middle class highly educated).

I come from v upper middle class roots and grew up in the Cheshire country side but despite this managed to find my way into the "mecca" of Stoke during the rave scene and everything that went with it!! myparents were VERY anti by boyfriend at the time and as a result I left to be with him. the bast thing you can do is accept these girls, try to get to knoe their parents and ALWAYS unconditionally be there for your daughetr. She needs to know home is a safe comforting space for her to retreat back to in amongst all the adolescent chaos.

My DCs all much younger than your older set but we found a while back that we needed to devote one afternoon each weekend to one particular child as they seem to get a bit lost in a large family.

We let the child choose which parent they would like to spend an afternoon with and what they would like to do. Did end up being a bit of a shopping spree if not careful, but the aim is to spend quality one to one time having lunch out, swimming, film or something simple.

DCs really loved this and felt special - I also felt that I talked to them properly without trying to control others, do housework, think, talk etc etc.

just an idea!