to be upset that she stole our name

[Naive]

When we had DS we really liked a girls name so because we never got to use it and because we're trying for another baby very soon (DS is a few months old) we decided we would call the next baby that if it's a girl. We told DP's friends this, not realising they were expecting. They didn't even know at that point.

DP is part of a big group of friends who are sort of well known and well liked in the town, particularly for people of our age range.

They have gone and called their baby the name we love, so now we can't call our baby that as everyone will think we copied and it's already taken now.

I'm not angry or anything, I'm just miffed and deflated.

AIBU?

absolutely - yabu
no one has a monopoly on names

P.s- the group of friends are all lads and then we're their partners so we socialise together etc.

You can't copywrite a name! I don't think YABU for being a bit miffed, but you can still call your baby by that name if you really like it - I know lots of children with the same name, it's not a big deal.

YABU

it is a name - no-one has dibs on names

you can call your baby what you like

I would take it as a huge compliment that someone used the name i liked

I'm not saying what the name is as the baby's mum is a potential MNer.

Hmm I just can't stop feeling miffed. It's silly I suppose. Definately not calling our baby the name they have called theirs. Although DP thinks we can for some reason! But then he said he knew I'd be upset and I'm being stupid. It's not like I'm yelling about it or cross.

I think she iwll know you are talking baout if she sees this as your OP was quite specific.

For all you know they could have had the name in mind too.

It is just a name. Does it really matter? what if you are no longer friends in a few years, will you feel you have given your child a second choice name for the sake of someone who you no longer see?

YABU.

i think this happens quite a lot really as the popular names are often popular with everyone of course! just because you said it out loud first doesnt mean it belongs to you im afraid!

choose the name you love as you prob wont see the friends for ever, or take it as a warning that it is probably very popular one and it prob wont be just you two with it!

But you're not even pregnant, and if/when you are there is no guarentee your baby will be a girl! How long do you think you should have a right to exclusively reserve a name for? 12 months? Two years, more?
YABU

Perhaps you're right. We didn't really have any around here (small town) but now there's one probably hundreds will follow suit as soon as it goes in the paper, as always!

I'm not asking if I'm being unreasonable to reserve a name. I'm asking if I'm being unreasonable to be miffed and change our choice.

YANBU being a little miffed.

Your DH is being a tad unreasonable not sympathising with you!

I'd still use the name if I were you though, it really doesn't matter...

Still being unreasonable, you can't own a name. There are hundreds of thousands of people with the same name (I would imagine) - are you going to be cross with all of them too? What's with this "well known and well liked in the town, particularly for people of our age range" - what are they, the T Birds? Very silly.

But you said 'stole our name' which is why posters are pointing out that you don't own it, therefore it can't be stolen from you!

LOL

YAN quite as U as a friend I once had who fell out with a friend who called her DD by the name my friend had always fancied for her baby if she ever had one.

My friend who is now 44, is still single with no children. It's highly unlikely that she'll ever have any children. So it's highly unlikely that she needed to fall out with her friend.

But man aren't people mad

Well I think you are entitled to feel a bit miffed. Not sure if that is U or NU or whatever these abbreviations are. I would keep schtum on a name if I was worried. That said, you could still use the name in future if you wanted to. The friends you think nicked the name will know it was your idea first, as for anyone else - they can think what they like!

Georgimama- I didn't ask for comments on either of those things. Cheers though, I'll take it into consideration

Well if you post infomation on an internet forum you are going to get what people think. If you don't like it, don't ask. Or don't add ridiculous additional information which leaves you open to ridicule, up to you.

@ georgi t-birds

If making someone else feel horrible makes you feel good, then good for you. You must be very proud of yourself. Maybe it's you who shouldn't post on public forums with such a nasty manner and attitude.

Who naive?

Look, this forum is called 'Am I being unreasonable?' If you're not prepared for people to say 'Yes' then why post?!