Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not go to parents' evening at ds' nursery?!

61 replies

theSuburbanDryad · 25/11/2008 19:03

I mean - it seems a bit pointless, if you ask me! What are they going to tell me, that he's really good at playing in the sand, but that his communication skills need to improve?

He's 22 months ffs! Plenty of time for parents' evenings when he's at proper school, surely? Or am I being too laissez-faire, and should I be taking more of an interest in my child's development?

OP posts:
TheFallenMadonna · 25/11/2008 19:05

I didn't go. I did occasionally have a peek at the keyworker's notes. And chatted to her about what he was doing. That's it.

thisisyesterday · 25/11/2008 19:06

hehe. I would go, but that's only because I am really nosy as to what they get up to all day. then again I have a 3.5 yr old so I guess they "do" more, he just never tells me.

but no, i don't think you're being unreasonable if you don't want to go

wheresthehamster · 25/11/2008 19:06

Imagine the nursery feel the same tbh.

Probably Ofsted says they have to have one

Original poster
theSuburbanDryad · 25/11/2008 19:07

I get a report after every day from his keyworker about what he's been doing, how many nappies he's done (and whether there were any loose ones!) what he's eaten and how long he's slept for.

I'm assuming that if there were any concerns they would tell me!

OP posts:
Kbear · 25/11/2008 19:07

I suppose it's an opportunity for the parents to get to know the staff if they don't take them every day, a chance for dads to go along if mum takes them usually.

You can look at the finger painting hanging up and play in home corner for a bit!

Probably not going to talk about development too much, if there were any problems with your child's development you would already know about them I presume.

Original poster
theSuburbanDryad · 25/11/2008 19:08

I'm going to go to the Christmas party and drink all the booze interact with my child there!

OP posts:
chloemegjess · 25/11/2008 19:09

Do you get much of a chance to speak to them on a daily basis? If you do then I would say don't bother but if not then they might have things they want to talk to you about?

KatyMac · 25/11/2008 19:10

If you have time (& for their benefit) just pop a little note in saying you have a good relationship with your keyworker (if you do) & that you feel all important information is shared at hand over

They can put that on your file & they will get points with OFSTED for working in Partnership with parents when they have their inspection.

chloemegjess · 25/11/2008 19:11

sorry, major cross post

starbear · 25/11/2008 19:13

You'll see my DH there looking bored. Can't figure what they'll say but hey ho gets him into the habit. My Dad went to nofking 4 me at skool. I turn out alriht.

Original poster
theSuburbanDryad · 25/11/2008 19:16

Katy - ds' keyworker is doing her KS3 NVQ at the moment, and I filled out a questionnaire, where one of the questions was, "Would you like to have parents' evenings for your child?" and I said that no, I felt that it wasn't necessary at this age and I was very happy with the nursery!

Do you think I should put a note in his book too? I don't mind at all, I just can't be arsed going up to the nursery in the evening! Lazy.....

OP posts:
KatyMac · 25/11/2008 19:21

Pop a little not it - it only takes 2 mins for you, but if they can show it to OFSTED it just makes their life easier......you know that they will look at about 1 file (& it is sure to be someone's who didn't do parents evening etc so if they have your note of file they look good)

But only if you want to

bobbysmum07 · 25/11/2008 19:46

What an awful attitude.

I'm not very keen on any of the parents at my nursery, but they do at least show an interest in their children's development.

What if there's a problem with your child that they need to discuss with you? The early years are important, you know. Nursery aged kids are still at a point where problems can be addressed and resolved. Which can only happen with the parent and nursery working together.

That is the point of a nursery parent's evening. Nothing to do with Ofsted.

babylovesmilk · 25/11/2008 19:49

I went to my DD when she was 3 and TBH was a waste of time. If there was/is a problem - the staff would talk to you about it anyway.Don't bother!

Original poster
theSuburbanDryad · 25/11/2008 19:50

Bobbysmum - if there's a problem with my child I'd like to talk to them about it there and then, and not expect them to wait until parents evening to tell me!

OP posts:
FeelingLucky · 25/11/2008 19:51

Can't believe I'm reading this.
Aren;t you remotely interested in what your DC has been up to all day while you're at work. All kids are different, have different interests, etc. Their development isn;t just about wet nappies and how much food/milk they get down them.

I'm truly at some of the attitudes on this thread, especially the one about the DH getting bored. I would never get bored talking about my child.

cmotdibbler · 25/11/2008 19:51

I was a bit about parents evenings for DS (now 2.5 and we have been to 2), but actually it was a really good chance to talk about his development and go through their checklist, talk about the coming months (like starting potty training, when he'd go to pre school etc) and talk about him in a way thats not possible at drop off and pick up.

So, we like them

babylovesmilk · 25/11/2008 19:52

"What an awful attitude."

A bit harsh me thinks. Op is DC is a baby not at school.

babylovesmilk · 25/11/2008 19:52

"What an awful attitude."

A bit harsh me thinks. Op is DC is a baby not at school.

stickybeaker · 25/11/2008 19:52

I went to my DD's parent evening when she was about 8 months and thought it would be nonsense, but they really did 'know' her and her characteristics. I thought it was a nice way to keep in touch with the staff and value what they're doing.

Smithagain · 25/11/2008 19:54

Bobbysmum, I take a great interest in my child's development and have a good working relationship with her teacher. We talk two or three times a week. I'm confident I'd know if there was an issue at school.

Against that background, I feel that parents evenings are pretty much a waste of time even now she is in Year 2. So no, I would not have bothered at nursery age, unless I actually had a concern I needed to talk about.

Suburbandryad - I'd endear yourself to the staff by giving them one fewer appointment that night!

Original poster
theSuburbanDryad · 25/11/2008 19:55

I did expect to get slightly flamed for this, tbh!

I really do get bored talking about ds, although I love him to pieces, I just can't see the point in going up to the nursery in the evening just so they can tell me he's doing well!!

OP posts:
2point4kids · 25/11/2008 19:55

I used to like the parents evenings at DS's nursery. It was a good chance to have a longer chat with the key worker about things like how they will help when I decide to start potty training etc and how DS generally compares to the other children his age in terms of development and speech.
Its worth going to one at least and then if you dont find it useful, dont go next time!

Original poster
theSuburbanDryad · 25/11/2008 19:57

I did expect to get slightly flamed for this, tbh!

And although I love my ds to bits, I don't see the point in going up to the nursery in the evening just so his keyworker can tell me everything's fine and he's doing well!

OP posts:
hotbot · 25/11/2008 19:57

agree with stickybeaker, its an opportunity to thank the staff for their hard work, and listen to what they have to say about your child - for us, it reinforced that we had picked the right nursery because although dd seems to enjoy going, feedback from the staff on these occasions reflects what we think of dd and her personality and her likes and dislikes.
The staff really know her and in turn this makes us trust them more.

Swipe left for the next trending thread