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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to not want to come home from a day's work to face an hour or more of homework?

114 replies

jasper · 20/11/2008 22:26

Serves me right for having 3 kids in 3 years I suppose.

It is just such an unwanted added source of stress in the evenings

OP posts:
nappyaddict · 21/11/2008 10:13

VS - See I am inclined to think that if I go to bed and then wake up 12/13 hours later without having woken up and gone back to sleep inbetween iyswim then i do need it else why would my body let me sleep that long straight through?

TeenyTinyTorya · 21/11/2008 10:47

I slept for 10 1/2 hours straight today NA, but if I did that all the time I'd spend years of my life asleep - you could think of it that way . I would love to sleep like that every night, but 7 hours has to do me.

nappyaddict · 21/11/2008 10:53

On the days that I don't work I try to be in bed for 10:30. DS gets up about 6:30 so I get 10 hours straight on those nights, sometimes 11 hours if DS has a bit of a lie in.

nappyaddict · 21/11/2008 10:54

oops that wasn't very good maths was it. make that 8 and 9 hours.

OrmIrian · 21/11/2008 10:54

I agree 100%1.

Yesterday I got home at 5.45. DH had dinner more or less ready. We ate. Very civilized. Got up to clear the dishes, do a bit of cleaning etc. DD called me to help with her hw. I helped her for 10 mins. Got DS#2 into the bath. DD called me again for more help. Went back and got DS#2 out of the bath. Got in to bed with him and spent 10 min hearing him read. Then another 10/15 reading to him. Went downstairs to tell DD to go to bed. She carries on doing hw in bed - needed more help. DS#1 calls from downstairs needing help. Went to help him. DS#2 gets out of bed. Take DS#2 back to bed (with menaces). DD calls me. I tell her to go to sleep and do the rest in the morning. Go to see how DS#1 is getting on. He's watching TV . 'Encourage' him to finish hw. It is now 9pm. Then I can get on with sorting out the stuff in the washing machine and doing some ironing. My evening is complete

Dh was out but even if he wasn't, the DC usually want me to help them rather than DH.

I hate hate hate hw!

OrmIrian · 21/11/2008 10:54

I agree 100%1.

Yesterday I got home at 5.45. DH had dinner more or less ready. We ate. Very civilized. Got up to clear the dishes, do a bit of cleaning etc. DD called me to help with her hw. I helped her for 10 mins. Got DS#2 into the bath. DD called me again for more help. Went back and got DS#2 out of the bath. Got in to bed with him and spent 10 min hearing him read. Then another 10/15 reading to him. Went downstairs to tell DD to go to bed. She carries on doing hw in bed - needed more help. DS#1 calls from downstairs needing help. Went to help him. DS#2 gets out of bed. Take DS#2 back to bed (with menaces). DD calls me. I tell her to go to sleep and do the rest in the morning. Go to see how DS#1 is getting on. He's watching TV . 'Encourage' him to finish hw. It is now 9pm. Then I can get on with sorting out the stuff in the washing machine and doing some ironing. My evening is complete

Dh was out but even if he wasn't, the DC usually want me to help them rather than DH.

I hate hate hate hw!

cory · 21/11/2008 10:55

My youngest is 8 and I am already beginning to limit my involvement to shouting 'have you done your homework?'. He can come and chat to me about it or ask for help, but the responsibility of getting it done is his. And he knows he'll get lunchtime detention if he doesn't.

OrmIrian · 21/11/2008 10:55

I agree 200% apparently

May I just add that I was helping DD with her maths during the morning pre-school chaos as well.

cutekids · 21/11/2008 11:02

uh oh...just realized it's homework night tonight...more tantrums and tears.i wish it could be banned until high school-and even then i think it should be regulated so that they just get an hour and a half's worth

onthewarpath · 21/11/2008 11:15

Do your Dcs have home work every day?? or are you just like me getting very stressed on tuesday night (homework is given on Friday, has to be in following Wednesday)? 3 out of 4DCs have homework. When we do it on time, it is a very enjoyable experience (yes yes it is true) but as we can sometimes be a bit side tracked,it can be quite a hair pulling experience.

I find the reading is sometime harder to keep up with as they are supposed to bring the book back in school the next day:

-DS2 = Oxford Treetops , about 60 pages per book that he usually has satrted in school the first 15-20 pages. so still 40 [ages to go for the next day... Joy...

  • DS3 = Oxford first stage 5 pages with a sentence on each and it takes so loooooong because he looks at me rather than the book.

-DD1 who does really well and is on free reading but would rather read any book but the one she chooses from school.

LadyLauraStandish · 21/11/2008 11:20

Both of mine have homework every day but ds1 is in Year 7 so his is understandable.

Ds2 is in Year 5 and gets either English or Maths homework every night. Maths is the pits as it takes aaaaagggggeeeessss.

nappyaddict · 21/11/2008 11:23

do they have to read a book every night then?

VictorianSqualor · 21/11/2008 11:30

DS is 4 and in nursery/reception (our year groups are all combined into two years) and has one book a week.
We read this every night before bed.

DD(year3/4) has one of the oxford tree tops books, but she only has to do one/two a week, plus the one item of literacy homework which we are given on a friday to be handed in on the tuesday.

I can understand not being able to do a full piece of homework every night, but is there really so much? Can it not be spread out over the week?

TsarChasm · 21/11/2008 11:36

We are drowning in it too. It hangs over the house like gloom all weekend and every evening and causes untold friction. There is far far too much of it.

Went and 'discussed' it with dd's teacher. Apparantly it is a 'normal' amount and each thing should only be taking 10 minutes. What planet are these people on?? No way does it take ten minutes. They just churn it out and dump it home. It's insane

Dd has become demotivated and demoralised and it's still only the Autumn term.

marge2 · 21/11/2008 11:42

My poor DS1 is in Year 1 and seems to have loads to do. Reading every night, Spellings on Tuesday to learn by Friday, One homework sheet per week plus a 'Reading Journal Activity' which is a something like 'write a postcard to a character in your favourite book'. He only 5 and a half poor little thing. I work until school pick up time and I find it almost impossible getting home with hungry boys trying to cook something healthy and decent while trying to stop DS1 and DS2 murdering each other, then getting them to eat and THEN having to do sodding bloody homework with DS1 whhile DS2 is climbing all over me 'cos he hasn't seen me all day . DS1 has had enough of school stuff by then and is incredibly reluctant. I end up ranting and raving at him and last night we both ended up in tears. Angry with him because he was so uncooperative, but even angrier at the schoolputting this pressure on us becuse they can;t get through it all during the day due to 30 in the class and the modern problem of lack of discipline and the curriculum being far too broad at this stage. PErsonally I think reading , writing and Maths is all a 5 year old should be doing. Science???WTF???

DS1 is starting to get really negative about school. He is going to smash it down wiwth a digger - never wants to go again etc.. TOO MUCH PRESSURE!!!

Sonnet · 21/11/2008 11:43

VS: My dd2 is in year 3 and she has:reading every night, also spellings to be learnt for test, t.tables to be learnt for test plus 3 other worksheets per week

DD1 in yr 7 has 2 pieces of homework per night with the exception of Wednesday where it is only 1. She is also suppose to read for 30 mins every night ( which she loves and does before going to sleep) and has a weekly spelling test which we forget about

In itself it is not so bad but when you add in extar stuff such a brownies, gymnastics and drama for dd2 and hockey, drama, orchestra, team practice for DD1 you soon run out of hours in the day!

LadyLauraStandish · 21/11/2008 11:43

Oh God, yes, ds2's teacher is adamant that the Maths homework can be done in 45 minutes - well, we spent an hour on it on Tuesday and it was still only half done!!

He is also supposed to read for at least 20 minutes every day.

English homework is either comprehension or some other sort of writing - yesterday he had to summarise the first chapter of a book. I'm sure I didn't do so much when I was 9.

Sonnet · 21/11/2008 11:43

Frgot to add - agree with OP - I hate homework!

LadyLauraStandish · 21/11/2008 11:46

Interesting, Sonnet - my ds1 is in Year 7 and gets 3 pieces of homework every day. Nightmare!

RubberDuck · 21/11/2008 11:53

I'm getting very depressed with it all too. We've also had the school complaining that ds1 isn't reading enough (he is - he's ADDICTED to Harry Potter that he's reading on his own AND telling me all the plot so he's definitely taking it all in - he's only 7!) and they expect him to complete a 100 page school book once a week.

Then as an "accelerated" reader to test his comprehension they sent home "The Hungry Caterpillar" ffs. We've had that book at home since he was born and knows it back to front and sideways and he considers it a "baby book" - how is that in any way appropriate or get a boy motivated to read?! So each night he gets in, does guitar practise (something he wants to do), spelling practise, slogs through 20 pages of a book he's not interested in AND then does any extra homework on top of that.

It's way too much for a seven year old. I want him to be able to relax when he gets home from school. Or do extra curricular stuff without thinking "shit, but how do we fit the homework in?"

Is this a good point to mention the Petition at Number10.gov.uk against excessive homework?

TsarChasm · 21/11/2008 11:54

The thing is children are tired after a day at school and need a break from it.

Ok a little bit of homework; fair enough. But unreasonable amounts just have such a negative effect and don't give them a sense of achievemnet.

What can you say though? Teachers are adament it doesn't take so long. We all know darn well it does!

RubberDuck · 21/11/2008 11:55

Oh, and I've been considering going back to work recently - but the big factor for me being reluctant to go back (other than childcare) is how the fuck do you get all the homework done with them if you don't like the weekends being taken up with it all?

It's going to add so much more stress to the family without adding much more in the way of income, so it hardly seems worth it

TsarChasm · 21/11/2008 11:58

I don't see how it helps them learn to have too much either.

Certainly in my dd's case we just get through most things.

I honestly don't think she's retained much info from it. She's just relieved to get it out the way because she knows another load will arrive home any day. It's like shovelling snow.

RubberDuck · 21/11/2008 12:01

Yeah, we see it as a "get through it" activity too. I don't help ds1 with his homework anymore (it ended up in too many rows). He just has a stab and if he gets it wrong, he gets it wrong - at least then the teacher can see where he's struggling. I have also given up trying to get him to expand on his minimalist approach to literacy homework.

TsarChasm · 21/11/2008 12:04

Dd's teacher dishes out lines and/or detentions if they slip up. Nice woman