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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to not want to come home from a day's work to face an hour or more of homework?

114 replies

jasper · 20/11/2008 22:26

Serves me right for having 3 kids in 3 years I suppose.

It is just such an unwanted added source of stress in the evenings

OP posts:
TheLadyEvenstar · 20/11/2008 23:34

oh dear seems i am the odd one out I love the fact that my ds1 has homework (every night now he is in yr6) and even with ds2 needing so much of my time (14m old) I still find time to help if he needs it.

I think HW is good for children.

swanriver · 20/11/2008 23:35

I did have a friend who used to put her child to bed quite early (7.30-8) and make her do the homework first thing in the morning, when she was bright and lively.

Twinklemegan · 20/11/2008 23:38

You know what, it's disgraceful that any child should fall behind because their parents don't have the time to play the teacher at home in the evening. And you shouldn't be made to feel bad about it.

As a parent you should be enriching your child's life and doing things that your children don't do at school, like playing, going for walks, taking them shopping, etc etc. Somewhere the dividing line between teachers and parents has become very blurred. Teachers are expected to do sex education as if they were parents. Parents are expected to supervise research projects and teach numeracy as if they were teachers. What the hell is going on?!

nappyaddict · 20/11/2008 23:38

well my friends DS is 8. He goes to bed at 6:30 and gets up at 7:30. They are out the house for about 8:15. There really is no time for homework. She hates it cos it is such a pressure fitting it in.

Twinklemegan · 20/11/2008 23:40

TheLadyEvenstar - my reading of this thread is that some schools are setting work that the children are absolutely bound to need help with, in fact they seem to expect that parents take part in the homework. I think that's unreasonable. But I'm a gatecrasher really as DS is only 2 (thank god!)

Twinklemegan · 20/11/2008 23:41

Bed at 6.30 for an eight year old nappyaddict? Is that for his benefit, or your friend's?

BreevandercampLGJ · 20/11/2008 23:43

Swanriver,

DS goes to bed at 7.30 anyway as he is only 7.

In this house, morning time is fun time, before you start the day.

We wake up an hour earlier than we need to, we lie in bed, talking nonsense.

Then DS and DH will come down and DS will put on Status Quo,(blame his father.) and I come down when my make up is done and pretend to be horrified every morning.

It doesn't sound much, but it feels great.

The thoughts of losing that to homework almost has me weeping here.

nappyaddict · 20/11/2008 23:43

He's just always gone to bed at that time. In fact before he went to school it was 6. Never moaned to say he wasn't tired or had trouble getting to sleep at that time so it's stuck.

VictorianSqualor · 20/11/2008 23:43

NA, at 8 years old a child does not need 13 hours of sleep. Twenty minutes of homework would probably be more beneficial with 12 hours of sleep.

nappyaddict · 20/11/2008 23:44

I'm 20 and i need 13 hours of sleep!

TheLadyEvenstar · 20/11/2008 23:46

Twinkle I do wonder sometimes if schools do set this HW to encourage the parents who have little time for their children to have more time. I don't mean the parents who really don't have enough hours in the day but those who really just can't be bothered.

VictorianSqualor · 20/11/2008 23:48

Lol NA. You may like it, but you don't need it.

swanriver · 20/11/2008 23:48

If homework were interesting, the children wouldn't resist doing it. DS1 actually quite enjoys the daily challenge and today he did it all by himself. It just seems sad that I'm getting cross with dts over it. How can that benefit them and make them love learning? Once DS1's homework at 6 was make a toy farm out of cardboard (using template provided). It took a lot of time, and imput but he did get a lot of satisfaction when we'd finished. Not sure whether that is the sort of homework which is annoying or not.

I think teachers are just asking you to spend time with your children, I take issue with the fact that the time is so proscribed.

Twinklemegan · 20/11/2008 23:50

That's not really a school's place though is it? And wouldn't that time be better spent doing other things? I see what you're saying, I do, but I'm flying in the face of Mumsnet tradition by being unwilling to criticise other parents until I've experienced the scenario for myself (watch this space!)

Twinklemegan · 20/11/2008 23:51

That was to TheLadyEvenstar.

asdmumandteacher · 20/11/2008 23:55

Same here! We are both teachers and have our own bloody work to do when we get back and its such a hassle to get DS1 to do anything...i hate homework - is mostly pointless (unless coursework or proper research)

swanriver · 20/11/2008 23:55

Breevandercamp, that's what our mornings are like too. The children dance around. Until 8.40 when the bell of doom sounds, TIME TO GET READY, SHOES ON. Husband rapidly exits and no-one can find their bookbags, or coats or shoes.

asdmumandteacher · 20/11/2008 23:56

yup same here

BreevandercampLGJ · 21/11/2008 00:07

We call the hour between 7 and 8 the Magic hour.

Time just disappears.

chipmonkey · 21/11/2008 00:15

Bree, I so admire you for that! Ds1 is very bright but has ADD so it's hard to get the homework done in any decent time as his concentration levels are not the best in the evenings. I would sooooo love to be able to say we're stopping after an hour but I am very intimidated by his teacher this year! She has very high expectations!

nooka · 21/11/2008 00:16

In the UK the kids got some maths on a Thursday, Spellings on Monday for a test on Thursday, and ds had a six week project every term. The project was an utter nightmare, as it always included a craft type exercise, lots of research and writing, and at least one drawing. ds is dyslexic, so the writing part was always tricky, and he hates craft activities. So it would always hang over the weekend, and getting him to do it involved a lot of fighting and stress.

In New York the children had a book log that had to be completed every day (30 mins for dd; 45 for ds, with a bit of comprehension type stuff to go with it). They also had at least two other pieces of homework every day, with more on Friday. It often worked out that (including the reading) they would each spend two hours on homework, and since it had to be supervised and help provided when they got stuck, or upset, and including breaks that pretty much wiped out three or more hours every day. They then asked us if the children wanted to go to a session for eight Saturday mornings to prepare for the State tests. It was a very good school, but if I hadn't been at home the homework would have been impossible.

Now we are in Canada there is reading (but no log) and homework only if they didn't finish work at school. They do have spelling tests here, but the NYC teachers thought spelling tests an odd idea, although they do do spelling bees over here.

BreevandercampLGJ · 21/11/2008 00:17

To use the vernacular.

Tell her to go and shoite......

nooka · 21/11/2008 00:17

h, and the kids are 8 and 9.

BreevandercampLGJ · 21/11/2008 00:19

The vernacular was for ....Chip.

chipmonkey · 21/11/2008 00:34

You know what, Bree? I think I will!