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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to still be holed up in the house 15 days after DS's birth?

55 replies

MamaG · 20/11/2008 11:26

DH says he's worried about me and that I should be making arrangments to see friends for coffee etc during the day

I'm just too bloody tired! I had a bit of an epic birth inc an emcs which was a shockola for me

DH means well, he really does, but all I want to do is stay inside, in teh warm, concentrate on feeding DS and not go trailing around to people's houses yet. Iwill do, but I just don't feel up to it yet.

Should I make more of an effort?

OP posts:
twoluvlykids · 20/11/2008 11:27

no.

who had the baby, you or him?

Dropdeadfred · 20/11/2008 11:28

ot if you don't feel like it...but a bit of fresh air might do you good. Could you try a quick walk to the shop/cafe etc WITH a friend rather than alone?

scorpio1 · 20/11/2008 11:28

No

you had a very hard birth, physically and emotionally.

Coffee will be there in a week or two.

ThePregnantHedgeWitch · 20/11/2008 11:29

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Original poster
MamaG · 20/11/2008 11:30

I have been to the shops with the pram and am doing the school run twice a day (admittedly school is opposite my house!)

DH knows its out of character for me to stay in so much, think he's a bit anxious about me. I'm fine, I really am, I'm just tired and can't be arsed!!

OP posts:
TheCrackFox · 20/11/2008 11:30

I had a hard birth with DS2 (horrific forceps and infectde stitches, lovely) and I don't think I left the house for 3 weeks. I also made DH wait on me hand and foot for 2 of those weeks.

YANBU.

taliac · 20/11/2008 11:31

God no. I'd stay in bed all month if it were me.

You'll go stir crazy eventually and want to get out, but until then, stay in!

ohIdoliketobebesidethe · 20/11/2008 11:31

As well as the obvious reasons it's the time of year for hibernating isn't it. My ds is now 3 months but I'm still being lazy about going out because I'm enjoying it indoors with him.

ILikeToMoveItMoveIt · 20/11/2008 11:32

YANBU.

You had a really hard birth and you're still establishing bf'ing.

You'll get out and about when you're good and ready.

It's nice of your dh to take an interest though.

trixiethepixie · 20/11/2008 11:34

No.

Make people come to you, if you want, rather than triapsing about the place. It takes a good while to recover from a section and you don't want to do too much too soon and wreck yourself. You know your own body.

Original poster
MamaG · 20/11/2008 11:34

Yes, I'm pleased that he's looking out for me as it were. I just wondered if I was in a baby-fog and not seeing things clearly! DS is unpredictable about BF, he hasn't fed since 8am but other times, he will feed hourly! The beast

OP posts:
wotulookinat · 20/11/2008 11:49

A bit of daylight and fresh (if a bit chilly!) air might be good for you and baby. Your DH sounds like he is trying to help and be caring.

wotulookinat · 20/11/2008 11:49

A bit of daylight and fresh (if a bit chilly!) air might be good for you and baby. Your DH sounds like he is trying to help and be caring.

elkiedee · 20/11/2008 11:53

Hope you're enjoying the rest. Is there somewhere you and dh, or a visiting friend, could pop out to that's just a very short walk or something from home?

misdee · 20/11/2008 11:56

oh god no. the furthest i have been one week post birth is to my sisters and mums. i just dont have the energy as well.

i also just want to feed the baby and snuggle up with her as she is lovely.

and its soooo cold.

pippo · 20/11/2008 11:56

If you had just had an emergency op (with out baby!!!) I doubt anyone would think anything of it. They would think that you were recooperating (sp?!)

arcticlemming · 20/11/2008 12:00

If you were in many parts of the world you would be expected to stay at home for 40 days being waited on hand and foot by your (female) relatives. We seem to have gone the other way, and if you're not back at the gym 2 days after giving birth you're a slacker. Do whatever you feel like, and enjoy it!

Stefka · 20/11/2008 12:32

I did not go out for three months!!! Just rest and eat chocolate that is all you are supposed to do - well apart from look after the baby of course! Things get better in time but it won't help to put pressure on yourself to get out the door straight away.

swanriver · 20/11/2008 12:35

You sound very sensible, and wise to concentrate on feeding at this stage.

daydreambeliever · 20/11/2008 12:53

I think YANBU, you have just had an emergency section, its important that your wound can heal or you will have a right load of trouble getting it fixed if it dehisces. You need to avoid driving and lifting (such as lugging baby seats in and out of the car) and pushing a pram around the roadwon't help at this stage either. Plus, its freezing, keep the baby warm and indoors, he/she is only 2 weeks old. Its nice that your DH means so well but I would be doing the same as you. Congratulations!

babylovesmilk · 20/11/2008 12:54

I think you do right. I am planning to stay in for 6 weeks after I have this baby.

Wigglesworth · 20/11/2008 12:54

Congratulations! My DS is 4 mths old and I still cannot be arsed to go out most days, it's just too much damn effort LOL.
You have just given birth and if you want to stay in and look after your LO then do it. You can have visitors if you get lonely. TBH having loads of visitors in the first few months was my idea of hell, it mean't I had to be washed and dressed by the time they came round.
Don't listen to anyone's bullshit about "you have to get out more" or "fresh air will do the baby good" it's bollocks. It is cold outside, who can be bothered to go out and take not only a tiny newborn but all the stuff you have to cart along with it when it is blowing a gale and pissing down. Stay in and enjoy doing what you should be doing, bugger all but looking after LO, good luck. x

OhYouBadBadKitten · 20/11/2008 12:56

def stay at home until you are ready, its your body.
But make sure that you don't get isolated, perhaps arrange helpful friends to come round for short prearranged times.

wideratthehips · 20/11/2008 12:59

it took me about 2-3wks to dare go to the shop at the bottom of my road to get a news paper (i thought i NEED something else to talk about with my husband other than baby)...i though i was very brave what with all the mad car drivers and bus drivers about to mount the road and do us damage (i probably had cabin fever at that point)

don't over do anything..even though its lovely being out in the real world i always though when baby was asleep...i could be sleeping too!

PussinJimmyWhoooos · 20/11/2008 13:06

If you had a tummy op that wasn't baby related, people would be encouraging you to rest and recover...it makes me laugh how the expectation is for women to be striding around days after c sections! Its major surgery and on top of that, sleep deprivation and a demanding baby all add to the mix!

I think you've done very well to do the school run (even if it is only across the road, you are still doing it) and you have been to the shops as well...take it slow, you know what you need and what's best for you!

And congrats btw

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