to still be holed up in the house 15 days after DS's birth?

[MamaG]

DH says he's worried about me and that I should be making arrangments to see friends for coffee etc during the day

I'm just too bloody tired! I had a bit of an epic birth inc an emcs which was a shockola for me

DH means well, he really does, but all I want to do is stay inside, in teh warm, concentrate on feeding DS and not go trailing around to people's houses yet. Iwill do, but I just don't feel up to it yet.

Should I make more of an effort?

Stay in.
You'll know when you need to get out.

Stay in the house, snuggle some more with your baby and get your DH to make you a cup of tea.

I had an emergency CS and did not go out for weeks, except to the bakers and then I was exhausted.

If your friends want to see you they can come to you, get them to bring cake

YANBU.

It's freezing out, you've had major surgery, and if your friends want to meet up for coffee - well, they can come over, stick the kettle on, make a cup for both of you and then leave after an hour (preferably after washing up for you or making you a sarnie or two for later! )

My DD is 6 days old and I have absolutely no intention of making any social plans until after Christmas (so she'll be about 6 weeks old by then). This phase passes so quickly - enjoy snuggling up and bonding.

I think a good compromise will be to arrange to have some people over - my sister is coming tomorrow and a mate is coming on Sunday with her two small DC. DH will hopefully stop worrying that I'm turning into a hermit!

Thanks all

MamaG,

ds is 3 weeks old today and I havent been out yet

In my defence I havent a double buggy though.

Dont rush to go out put try not to get to the point where you end up finding it hard to go out again

Your ds is beautiful btw.

Of course you're not.

You had a shocker of a birth - a general anaesthetic takes a while to get over without the added complications of a long labour, sleepless nights, caring for a newborn, breastfeeding and looking after 2 more dcs.

Give yourself a rest. You'll recover much better in the long run if you take it easy while you can.

Sod the coffees and socialising, people will still be there when you're up to going out.

my friend is sikh and when she had her baby she wasn't meant to leave her house for six weeks after the birth,

by week six she was going slightly crazy but thinks that it helped her in the long run to deal with her three young children much better.

No you need at the very least about 6 weeks to recover from a section.

Take things very easy.

Enjoy your new ds.

no, it's freezing and you have just had a baby. get everyone to come to you (if you want to see them) and advise them you need chocolatey (?sp)biscuits.

congratulations!

you're doing the right thing by resting mamag. I didn't rest after dd2's birth, ended up fainting twice the week after and felt exhausted for six months or so.

I refused to make the same mistake after ds's birth, and rested for a good two weeks, and now nearly six weeks later, I'm feeling reasonably well and recovered.

You have to rest now, because you won't get another chance in a month or two's time.

Yanbu.
I'd have friends around, but that is just me, I need like company!

Jolly good. I told DH about this thread and I think its eased his mind a little. He threatened to phone the GP this morning after I burst into tears unecessarily, after doing the same thing last night - have managed to convince him its just hormones! Bless him, I'd be furious if he didn't care.

I've made some arrangements for people to come and see me rather than me going out and about which I think will be good, esp if they bring chocolate

Oh yes Mamag, I found that proper choc helped with those hormones!

chocolate is always a winner.

I think that you choose the pace at which you re-enter the wider world after having a baby..
it is always better to take your time than to rush things. IMO

You are so not being unreasonable.
Congratulations again BTW, and I hope your lil DS settles down into some type of routine for you.

I also had long three days labour and a crash cesarean, and they are not easy to get over.
I think I was at home for 6 weeks before i stopped bleeding if I got up.
I guilt-ed myself into going out too early (Like in the picture book in my head, perfect Mother yadda yadda), but nearly ruptured myself trying to lift a buggy onto the pavement, and my lochia returned with avengence after the 6 weeks, so the early activity backfired.

Basically, MamaG you know what's going on with your body and your lil babe and your Dr, while making a helpful suggestion to someone who may have had an easier birth, isn't really talking about you.
A thought... Are you anaemic? I was and was put onto Galfar FA afterwards. I lost a lot of blood during the crash section.

Are you OK about the birth now? I had horrible anxious thoughts about it whenever I relaxed - I was mortified, as I'm normally a 'deal with it' person, and these would creep up on me and ambush me.
I hope you have processed it - it's pretty huge to have an emergency cesarean birth, after long labour. Be kind to yourself and wrap up with your lil babe

Anyway - who says you are not meeting people - we are all here for you!!

Get out of the house you lazy sod

Seriously, I had an epic birth and emcs with DS1. I was quite happy festering at home for a couple of weeks (He was born on 16th Dec, so it was bloody parky as well) I felt up to going out a bit more when he was about 3 or 4 weeks old.

With DS2, it was beginning of September and we went out for lots of walks, just the 3 of us. Although, looking back on it, pushing a double buggy containing a toddler and a baby was probably not the best thing to do after a C Section.

You have just had MAJOR surgery. If you'd had an op for owt else, I bet your DH wouldn't be expecting you to hop out of the door and nip to someone's for a cuppa. )I pointed this out to DP when he said similar to me after having DS1)

YANBU

Eat chocolate

watch daytime TV

come on MN

Enjoy some peace and quiet.

Love you x

Yes I am anaemic, as I also lost a lot of blood during the section. I'm going nowhere

Well, apart from to bed for an hour's nap before school run

Love you too sheiky! xx

Have you heard of the red tent idea? In some cultures (Indian I think) the new mother stays inside for 40 days getting to know her baby and establish bfing whilst her family and DH do the chores and make her nice food.

Really wish I lived in such a culture! My inlaws turned up the day after I got out of hospital, to stay for the weekend and DID NOT BRING ANY FOOD! I was expected to have bought and cooked lunch and dinner apparently . Despite having spent the last week giving birth and being in hospital with a prem baby.

FWIW only left house last week 3 weeks after giving birth.

no - I have blanked out most of 1st month and I didnt have an em cs - you snuggle up and bond

Yanbu, MamaG

I have never had a winter baby, both of mine were May, June, so it was nice to wander out a bit. I didn;t have a section either so was lucky but still felt like shit, and if I had had an autumn winter baby I would have gone nowhere - heck, I go nowhere now they are big boys, it's too blardy cold out there!

No YANBU, I am still holed up indoors 4 weeks after my C-section, not by choice, but because I have an ongoing infection in my c-section wound, which has slowed my recovery considerably.

Slowly going round the bend though and I do wish that I had some more visitors!

If you want to stay home then why not, YANBU, dh is probably thinking you may be feeling a little down and wants to be helpful, men, they think birth is like the flu, after a week its like it never happened! ;o

YANBu. You had a hard birth abd your DS is only 2 weeks old. Just rest and enjoy staying in with your baby.

It's farking freezing outside. Why would you want to venture out??

Have friends over to you (bringing food) instead.

Definitely stay inside. Too cold to go out.

Christmas is coming. There'll be plenty of time then to catch up with mates/family etc.