to find it a bit irritting that my nextdoor neighbour keeps ordering stuff online, even though shes never there to collect it, and i keep getting woken by the postman

[lovelysongbirdfliesaway]

and taking in all her christmas shopping.
she actually told me after picking up the last one she was doing all her xmas shopping on the internet.

Even if you are up at 8am, you might not be in a state where you're happy to answer the door (especially, but not exclusively, if you have young children).

I'd find it irritating as well, which is why when all my parcels get delivered to my very lovely neighbour next door i thank her profusely and buy her a bottle of wine every so often and ask her to tell me if it's too much.
I also drive her to and from and exercise class once a week so not too bad in the scheme of things.

YANBU to feel peeved.

YA also NBU to fell peeved that you have been called a cow on this thread. That was uncalled for.

Could you perhaps ask her to arrange for the deliveries to happen a little later, if she can't be in to receive them? If she asks why, you can tell her that it wakes up you and your dd, and she might stop doing this so often, and if she doesn't ask why, at least the deliveries might be a bit later.

I wish our post came at 8am. I would rather have (neighbours') early post and inconvenience than afternoon deliveries!

songbird this is not your neigbours fault..its the postman's

I think the easiest way to solve it is to call your local sorting office and ask them only to deliver parcels addressed to you to your address

This way you dont get disturbed and your neighbour doesnt need to know .. she will just get more cards for colection

The only time it bother me is when the florist turns up with a beautiful bouquet and says can you take this in for your neighbour???

Sorry, but I don't think the OP is being unreasonable. It's up to her what time she gets up. If her dd doesn't wake up until after 8.00am, then there is no need for her to be up.

Just because others on here may get up due to jobs, school or early rising children, doesn't mean that the OP should have to do the same! Wouldn't you all take the opportunity to lie in if you could? Anyone who says no is a big fat liar

My dd doesn't wake up until 8.30 many mornings, and so, if I'm not working, I don't get up until she does. It would royally p*ss me off if the postman was knocking on the door with parcels that weren't mine, when I had the chance to lie in.

I think it's entirely reasonable to take in a parcel once in a while, but if it's a regular occurrence, then the neighbour needs to think about alternatives, like arranging to pick up from the post office, or at least, grovelling wildly to the op and buying her copious amounts of wine and chocolate!

YANBU

Phone your local sorting office and tell them you are not prepared to accept any more parcels for this neighbour

Frasersmummy, but the neighbour is choosing to shop online, knowing that it is unlikely she will be there to accept the parcel. She obviously has not given the companies any other instructions about delivery, and it is up to her, not the OP to make sure that other people are not inconvenienced.

If this only happened occasionally then I would say you are being unreasonable but if its a daily thing then I think you are quite within your rights to be a bit peeved. The other thing to bear in mind is if one of her parcels goes astray you are going to get dragged into the resulting hassle (and lets face it something always goes astray leading up to xmas doesnt it)

Those of us who have school age children have to be up by 8 but I know when mine were little we quite often stayed in bed quite a bit later than this either sleeping or watching a dvd.

Can you put a note by the bell saying "no deliveries accepted until after ....." (only thing is that means he wont deliver any for you either!)

Our postman delivers most of the mail about lunchtime but if he has parcels he delivers them first rather than carrying them around with him.

So what is she supposed to do? She is a doctor working shifts in a hospital, sensibly shopping online. If I'm not in when the postman calls I get anote saking me to go to the postoffice to collect it. Some courier companies leave parcels behind floorpots or bins. Some knock and leave it with my neighbours. I've taken in things for people. It's what happens. Stiull, sorry you are actually being woken by the postman, that is annoying. Have a word with him.

I agree with littlefish, yanbu

yes once in a while sounds fine

but ignoring the bellis pointless as it might be a parcel for you one day

I would have a word with her tbh, just say it's getting a bit much

'So what is she supposed to do?'

Have a word with the postman herself, get the parcels delivered to her work or her dp,dh's, other family members work/house

I agree Thomcat that shopping online makes sense for her, expecting her neighbour to take in her parcels without checking it is OK first is an imposition.

I agree talking to the sorting office to see if the parcels can be delivered later on his route if you are happy to take them later and if not request that he only delivers your parcels to you and returns hers to the depot.

Just put a note on your door saying no deliveries for neighbours will be accepted before 9 a.m. or something.

Oh my goodness - had to read this, in a sweat 'cos have recently been very about the number of things my neighbour has been lumbered with.

In your neighbour's/my defence, I - although buying stuff I pretty much know I won't be in for - always put "leave by back door" in delivery instructions. The problem is the delivery people seem drawn to my neighbour instead!

(Like kettlechip I have realised you are unlikely to be my next door neighbour all the same - slightly different demographic!!)

Everytime I have taken a parcel for someone else, I have always been asked if I mind first. I guess, if you make the answer "yes I mind" you will break the postie's habit of picking you!

i hate this. we live on the same road as the depot, so we are first on the rounds. our post comes at 7:30am!! i would be really annoyed if i was you. our post man knows that i will only take in post for my immediate neigbours.
BUT as a sahm i get really annoyed when i get parcels from courier companies in the day time. they often see me in through the window and knock on to deliver for a house further up the row. then that person comes round to collect it after dinner, right when i am putting the kids to bed grrrrr

Grrrr don't be so bloody miserable. Especially at this time of year you're being a right Bah Humbug. Let's hope you never need a favour from her.

yes you want to be hyelpful but if you are asleep its bloody annoying to be woken up

suggest putting note on door, children asleep dont ring bell

or as my friend does

i do night shifts and sleep during the day, please dont ring doorbell between 7am and 4pm

you can get mailboxes that you secure to your house if you're likely to get tons of deliveries

I get deliveries every day for next door. It's now a joke between the postman and me that the interesting looking parcels are never for me.

I like my neighbours very much but I do detect a faint streak of irritation within myself that they probably wouldn't order so much stuff if they were shlepping up and down to the depot every day to collect it.

Mind you - I was sent an extremely heavy and valuable parcel t'other week, and another neighbour kindly took it in for me . . . I would never have been able to collect it myself as it was too big and heavy.

You could always "forget" to give her some items and wait till she asks you. Then act all flustered and rummage around for it in a cupbaord really apologetically, saying "All those parcels of yours make the place so cluttered so I put them in here. I am so sorry I didn't give that one to you, I get so much stuff for you that I lose track of it all."

I quite like taking in parcels for neighbours. I am very lucky to be able to be at home when the postman comes at 8ish. Gives me a bit of a warm I'm-part-of-the-community feeling.

Its really the postie you are doing a service to by taking the deliveries, otherwise he would have to continue to carry it, if he is on foot.

I take parcels for my neighbour and they take them for me. Sometimes they go to the post office, sometimes you have to get them from the depot or arrange redelivery. Doesn't seem to be any pattern to it.

It would annoy me if I was woken regularly for a neighbours packet. Who cares if other people are up at 8am. When I was home with ds1 and no other children I might be fast asleep at 10am having been awake half the night.

You are not up then, therefore it its disturbing you so I would mention it. Of course you don't mind taking them if you are awake, but I wouldn't get up to it.

Mind you the one time you stay in bed it will be for you.

I'm doing all my christmas shopping on line and have done for the past few years. I work full time and don't want to spend my precious weekends at the heaving horrible shops. I don't expect anyone to take my parcels in for me and am aware that I may have to go to the depot to pick them up,or take the risk of them being left in the shed, but if a neighbour is in and can take the package they will - and I do the same for them in the school hols as I'm a teacher. What I don't get is being annoyed at being woken up at 8am