To Think That Some MNs Take Things To Far!

[juicyjolly]

I am new to mumsnet (to finally getting the courage to post something)and I realise I might be in for a bit of a bashing but here goes:
I have been visiting the site for quite some time now, just reading about different problems and the advice that is given.
So far no problem.

That is until someone actually writes something that some of you disagree with, or you seem to just take the view that it is someone pissing about.
Now the problem with that it seems to me, is that a few of you seem quite thrilled to respond to these posts (I think thats what they are called) with lightening speed and seem to relish the fact that you can insult and abuse this post as long as it keeps you amused!

I even suspect that some MNs have one rule for some and another rule for others. How can anyone justify this? It seems very hypocritical of what the site is all about.
In fact, as I have read many different posts and learnt some of the more colourful nicknames I can see a sort of bullying going on! I am pretty sure some of you know this is true!

So, there it is, my first post, and I am actually nervous about the sort of responses I will get back.Lol.

mamadiva - no lurking is not boring. It is highly amusing. When you are not drawn in, that is! It is like watching a bee-hive or an ants nest. I find even that fascinating. Especially when somebody start up with the ant powder.

LOL Dominion fair bpoint LOL

I prefer tio be drawn in myself and must say there is a certain person who only comes on here to troll every few months for some reason and I find it hysterical... come back trolly we need a laugh.

Shitehawk..I totally agree with your comments about it being a great place for advice. I have even seen support given to some who really need it and so yes I will be staying around for a little while anyway.

Dominion.. I am not talking about any one particular thread,post. I asked AIBU to think some MNs go to far in their response to 'whatever' the post is, without the op being a troll.

I've been here forever and totally agree with the op

mamadiva..I must agree with dominion here.
It really can be interesting just watching some threads take on a life of their own.

Many have had me in tears laughing.

I was genuinely asking BTW incase you thought I was being sarcy.

Welcome juicyjolly.

Forgive me for saying so but your post is a bit off I think for a first post. IIRC my first thread was in the camping section asking for recommendations about tent types. Don't think I would have begun by challenging the site in general as it were.

However there is no rule on MN to say that one can't start out like this; that is what makes it such a great site.

MN is robust and that is what most of us like about it. There are always going to be people who take things too far but I think this is actually a relatively unfrequent problem here.

Seems to me that you can't really generalise about the site as there are so many different topics and sections.

There are some posters who have been around for a while and therefore are comfortable with expressing themselves fairly frankly. The vast majority of these posters are witty and frank but not unkind. 'Tis the side to MN that makes me come back.

Without some of the more frequent well known posters (who do change they are not some sort of old guard) the site would not be what it is.

If you see some nastiness or bullying then either step in and say so on the thread in question or report it.

If you think there are cliques and don't like this then avoid them (MN is pretty big).

If you want to be in a clique/group of mates then start one.

Hope you come to see the good side of MN as it is is much bigger and more important than the odd scuffle.

There seem to be lots of threads at the moment about MN itself rather than about life. If we are not careful we will damage the site by all this moaning and chest beating.

MN rocks but it needs interesting posts to keep it that way.

beach - I think that is the best response I have ever read to a thread like this. (I'm afraid they come up fairly regularly Juicy )

Why thank you hecate.

Morning Juicy, I think bullying is a bit of strong word for it! jumping on the band wagon is more apt, i think.

and yes ive seen exactly what you are talking about

Beachcomber..Thanks for the welcome.

To be honest I dont really see myself as a newcomer because i have been watching the site for some time (lurking I believe it is called)

I dont think I was generalising as I kept trying to point out that it was 'some' not all MNs that seemed to be a 'little harsh'.

I certainly dont see any problem with expressing oneself frankly and yes I totally agree with some of them being very witty indeed.

Believe me when I say I am not moaning or chest beating, just wanted to know if I was in the minority on how 'some' come across.

JJ get stuck in,dont fret about old/new whatever.inevitabily disagreements happen.fact.

i dont actually notice old/new whatever.i respond to posts.dont recall any particular posters.some topics i likey, some not

end of the day switch off and switch off

i don't think 'MNs' take things far enough a lot of the timee, tbh. i'm getting so bored with these milquetoast posters who want everything to be bland. it's the internet, if someone disagrees with you it's just a stranger typing, it's not your mother or best friend having a stand up argument with you, so try to keep things in perspective.

Other than that, just post on what interests you, because mn has a lot of great stuff and it is surely far better to focus on that, than on the bits that are not nice?

Is that a bit like saying - ignore the bully and what they are doing?

Cos that is actually what I have done, I ignore the posts where bullying is taking place and look at the good bits of MN instead - starting to feel guilty now Cos I dont think I would be able to do that in real life, I would offer sympathy and support for the person being bullyed.

Am I wrong then to ignore it on here?

OK juicy, i guess I don't really get your point then. I lurked for ages before starting my gentle camping thread BTW.

.

Welcome to MN JJ.

It's too far, by the way.

yes, you are wrong to ignore it on here. if you don't want to step in you should report it using the red exclamation mark.

To be honest, I think I will take both pieces of advice.

Go to posts I like the look of and want to join in.

If I feel someone is being 'bullied', I hope I will be able to try and do something about it.

I do not agree with 'this is the internet so anything goes' mentality. Never really thought because its not family leave someone to be 'attacked'

Ahh, I didn't know there was a report button - what happens then?

Is it a bit like reporting the bully to the teacher? Do they drap the poster into an ofice and sort them out?

oooh, yes, I got Dealt With by MNHQ once [quiver]

this is a preposterous thread.

Pretty much Ivy! Sometimes they'll just delete the post/thread and sometimes they'll ban the poster. I think unless it's an obvious troll or really bad it's quite rare for them to be banned though.

I don't quite see the point of banning someone though - or rather, I don't see how they do it. I have an IP address which changes - or so dh tells me, anyway - so how they ban people for good I don't know!

I've never had a post deleted.

I have been called a troll though!

I've seen plenty of arguing, a bit of piss taking, some teasing - I don't believe I've seen bullying.

I like mn precisely because it is robust, it's straight talking - very supportive and often hilarious. As Aitch says, it is the internet, there are a lot of forums that are moderated and much more polite. This one is different, and although I would never defend nastiness, I'd defend mners right to be how they are.

Oh apart from that troll who called me unreasonable [gasp]