to be shell shocked by birthday party with 6 invited 8 year olds?

[jasper]

I have 3 primary school aged kids and have a relaxed view of parenting so am used to considering my kids might well come across as not the most disciplined in the world.

Last night dd (8) had a party at our house with 6 invited classmates.

IT WAS CHAOS!

from the moment they arrived the 6 guests wreaked havvoc, shrieking and yelling, banging the piano lid ( repeatedly being asked not to)and generally behaving in a very bold and loud manner.

One boy just roared at the top of his voice for 2 hours.The rest were not much better.

Within a few min of arriving one little girl went round all the balloons bursting them with a sharp pencil.

I would be mortified if I thought my kids did this in other folks' houses.Maybe thay do???

As I mentioned I thought my own standards were not that high , but this behaviour is not acceptable in our house - far from it.

Anyway is this normal behaviour when a bunch of 8 year olds get together?

Katie DD
no, Apple juice.

And the party tea was roast beef and Yorkshire pudding!

Followed by the usual crap

I had ds's 8th bday at home with 5 good friends and there was no trouble at all. They were really well behaved but it was a nice day and they spent most of the time in the garden playing football. It was great, I even enjoyed it!

I would have been utterly appalled if I thought any of my children had behaved so appallingly at anyone's house. Personally, I think I would have announced at the top of my voice that anyone who didn't behave themselves would get sent home.

I used to have a Christmas party for my friends and their children, and after the last one, I was appalled to find that, as well as there being food all over the front room floor, the little dears (who are not actually that little being, in the main, teenagers) had been firing spit-balls at the walls and pictures!! This with their parents in the next room!

I won't be doing this party again - I want to be able to enjoy my Christmas without worrying about supervising everyone else's children whilst they have a drink on me.

sunnygirl.

See thats all a bit too much like hard work! My daughter had her 10th birthday party at the weekend and there were 10 kids in total.

We went to Kidspace in Croydon for a couple of hours, then across the car park to pizza hut. Then we ferried all the kids back to our house and had a belated firework show.

I dropped some kids off and others were picked up by their parents. We even managed to match coats to children!

I'd been panicking all morning, but in the end it worked like clockwork for a change

I've only had 3 house parties, but even then i hired a bouncy castle so i didnt have to entertain them. Makes me sound like a right lazy bugger doesnt it

Jasper, sorry for intruding on your thread but I still haven't recovered from my shock at the absolute front of my DD's classmates - as you say, so bold!

Like you the party was actually great for the children, but I was in need of valium from about an hour in - whilst I was painting nails lawyer friend was giving me sips of red wine communion style so I didn't have to stop filing/massaging/painting!

Several mother's have sent emails or said that their DD came back and said it was the best party ever, but I still feel never again! I have a big party for DD every year, but have never encountered this - and there were only 10 this year!

Does the 'dog training' voice still work for this age then? I know that it works on my 3 yo - and most adults. It does raise a few eyebrows, but works... Would be good to know whether it still works later on...

Marmadukescarlet you are not intruding at all _ I really appreciate your input .

I guess the answer to my original question is YES, I am being unreasonable!

In other words this is normalish behaviour at parties in this age group

Sunnygirl that is also my point.

I know the parents of these kids and I know they would be appalled at their behaviour.

So might my kids behave like this at friends' homes?
I hope not!

Can I elaborate?

Devilboy of middle class parents and son of good friend bellowed in a voice like something from The Exorcist from the moment he walked in.

later dd (birthday girl) told me the only bit of the party she did not like was when Devilboy showed her his willie when there were no adults around.

I didn't have fruit shoots either, home made pizza, salady bits and innocent smoothies and water. Although had marshmallows as well as fruit for the fondue.

I don't think it is unreasonable to be shocked by poor behaviour, my DD attends a fee paying school and the only thing that didn't shock me that the 2 worst children were from the wealthiest families. (not your standard mn middle class bashing, as I am boringly mc)

I sincerely hope my DD behaves well when she is at other peoples house, in fact I expect her to bahave better for other people than for me.

I just spat tea all over the keyboard.
God he sounds awful, print this thread out in case next year you've forgotten and are considering doing it again.

I help at the brownies so girls age 6 to 10, argh it is like a pack of feral hyennas, they scream and grab each other and drag each other up and down the hall, when you say things and expect a cheer there are about 6 who will just scream, it just grates onthe ears, I want to go back to helping with the cubs .

I tend to go for the puppy training method of child discipline, short clear comands and rewards for good behaviour and peeing in the right place .

YY, structure is the key.
Don't let the little suckers have any window of opportunity for mischief, or all is lost.

I am very grateful for everyones' contributions.

It sounds like this was quite a normal group of kids!

Oh dear god, I'm glad DD goes to a single sex prep!

Is your DD severly traumatised?

One funny aspect of all this is my parents turned up half way through.

They were unbelievably strict with me and my siblings and I know they disaprove of some of my parenting methods - they think I am too soft and should be smacking my kids for instance.

They were open mouthed at the behaviour of the visiting kids

Marmaduke at the sofa-breaking and general brattishness. The worst I had was "he/she cheated" "it's not fair" repeated indefinitely in my ear - to which my answer was "Thank you for telling me, now please go and [insert current activity]" but the parents were there so I would might have said worse otherwise.

I was looking forward to the point where whole class parties are no longer the norm and I DS can choose a select few - but from what Marmaduke and Jasper have said even the so-called selected few can turn on you

I suspect I am regarded as one of the strict mothers by my DS's peers - long may that last!

Oh and Jasper I would be black-listing DevilBoy with anyone who will listen IIWY

Marmaduke not really traumatised!

I did not make a big deal of it as I reckoned willy waving, either literally or metaphorically is something males of any age are inclined to do
so the sooner she realises this the better

stealth this is my first forray into the world of parties. Have never ever had a kids'party except involving family/friends and their kids before.- ie adult:kid ratio much higher.

What an eye opener. It was like Lord of the Flies!

too true with the willy waving. mt dd bathes with her brother, she is very concerned he is going to pull it off

lord of the flies is right, they become feral.

Ms

jasper, my friend was once flashed on a train and she (being a Physiology student) had the wit to say "oh look, just like a willy only smaller!".
Luckily I have never had need to use this response but I pass it on to you for your DD's use, should she need it in future!

thumbwitch what a fab response.

Dd was not really bothered which was good.

I was less bothered about the flashing than the roaring.

I don't think his lawyer father would have been very pleased about either