School Mufti day but only if you bring a tombola prize?????

[karise]

Am a right to feel like I'm being taken for a ride?
School christmas cards, teatowels etc fine. Then we have a choice. But nobody wants their child to be the only one in school with their uniform on for mufti day so we all go along with it like twits
It just feels like mass bullying to me or am I being over the top?

lol boffin....gosh everytime I see you pop up I think of a book we read (Kids ans me) called Boffin and Bat...
fancy dress now seeems to be dome on bookday...mustsleep

I do stuff like bake fruit cakes and make my signature Fairtrade nut crunch in little cellophane bags with pretty bows on, donate toys and other things I have made for stalls, make sarnies for the other people helping set things up, do the odd stint on stalls and apply marketing principles I have learnt from The Apprentice thereby bumping up profits handsomely.

Interestingly it's always the same dozen people doing all this and they are all the ones with the busiest jobs and lives. We are mainly not PTA people and I don't think I have ever had a thank you.

A tombola prize is quite imaginative, but they should probably have offered a cash alternative too.

Our mufti days are always for charity - never for school funds. We are having one in a couple of weeks where we all have to dress in pink for breast cancer. (We do have PTA fundraisers, eg the Christmas Bazaar and Summer Ball for school extras, but the amount of money you send in that direction is very voluntary)

Kids love mufti days, and I, as a teacher, enjoy dressing down too.

Giving to charity is part of living in a community. Give as much as you can.

Twinset I am also a teacher and have worked in some very deprived inner city boroughs but have never found the children or parents to have a problem with Mufti day. In fact for many wearing own clothes was a relief from the daily grind of trying to provide a clean(ish) school uniform every day.

I have never had attendance drop for Mufti (quite the opposite in fact) Naturally not every family contributed money/gift/other - have no problem with that and there was never any stigma attached (no one need know).

As with anything schools/PTAs do it because it works! Mufti day with tombola donation is far more successful than letter in book bag asking for donation.

Exactly, AP - mufti works. It is really a win-win. The kids love it and they are happy to give their 50p - £2.

ds's school asked for donations of 'luxury' products for their mufti day/tombola thing. Was a bit about it.

Must be a new trend this year. My dd1 has to bring in a Christmas item (silver or gold) to sell on a stall in exchange for wearing non-school uniform.

I have no issue with donations for mufti day but, quite happy to pay £. Find the tombolas and sweet stalls at fairs more of an issue (spending a lot of time in everyday life telling dc not to waste money on stuff they don't need or will only want for 3 seconds and then I am supposed to find it ok when they eat all the sweets their money can buy and come home with their wins of unwanted (for good reason!) gifts because it is for a good cause. I do help out at fairs because I am not doing enough for the school at other times and because i realise that they need the money, but somehow would feel happier if i could just hand over however much I will spend on the day. Why don't we teach children to give without immediately getting something back? What am I missing here?

the op has totally pissed me off!

we work damn hard on our xmas fete and the only way to get prizes is to do a mufty day in return for a quality gift and not jumble.

I spend hours on raising funds for the school and unfortunately i am faced with comments like the op's on a daily basis.....

Message withdrawn

Glad Twinsets experience does not reflect the norm in this country....it did surprise me a bit....like I said, I grew up in a country wihtout schooluniform, and never found it to be a problem....dispite the fact that we could never afford labels or that I tended to wear outdated clothes, as I had to wear sisters off casts....well, until I grew taller than her, lol!

Also, we are living in a ratehr deprived area, and I had never noticed any problems....but that would be from a parent perspective and I realise that I would not notice a drop in attendence, etc....!
The Kids in my Kids class all seem to enjoy it though.My little ones are still young, so, labels etc...not an issue anyway.But the girls seem to love it to be able to dress up in their partyclothes, and as for the boys, can only go by mine...they seem to love going in Jeans etc... for a change.
And my oldest son enjoys mufty as it gives him the opportunity to express himself through clothes (he is, apparently, some sort of Emo/Skaterdude....or some such thing...lol)

Fairlady it was a very extreme school, I am amazed at how extreme it was having now moved to a new school but it has coloured my vision towards mufti days.

They do affect motivation and behaviour though and as a mumsnetter complained about one lesson showing a video I hope she would be more concerned about mufti days which can affect learning all day a few times a year.

all these moans about PTA's on MN piss me right off.
you know what
as chair of a pta I spend hours trying to come up with ideas that are easy, cheap, inclusive, liasing with the head, local business, writing emails, spending time printing newsletters, leaflets, questionnaires, beeging for help, then give days organising events, maning stalls, attending meetings, ncpta stuff...the list goes on and on and I do it happily to try and help provide stuff, usually essential, to make your child and mines experience at school a good one...
and you can't be arsed to find a bottle for the tombola!!!!!!!!
YABSFU!

"DS's school have got it right today, I think, they're selling home made cakes for children in need."

How is that "right" - surely that also excludes those children who's parents don't have a few spare pennies lying around the house for their DC to take in to buy the cakes??

OP - I think you're being unreasonable - I much prefer the "take a tombola" mufti days to the "pay a £1" ones - as not only do I usually have loads of unwanted stuff at home, if I don't I can go to Wilkos/poundshop and get something cheaper than £2 (I have 2 DC at school) for them to take in.

In most schools that were not like my previous one where the majority of kids could not afford anything we work our way round the kids abilitiy to participate.

So in my year 10 tutor group there was one boy who genuinely did not have the money I told him just to come in non unform and I paid it. I also bought various cakes for kids etc.

Twinset...it must hvae been extreme...

as for effects on behavour and motivation...I suppose this is due to it being a novelty, rather than the norm. I.e. will cause excitement, etc....!

And bless you for paying it for him...one would hope that all teh Kids that genuinely don't have money will have someone like you helping them out.

guyFAwkes...totally agree and of course, really making cakes could be a loss venture for the charity....

I'd rather send in a tin or whatever that I have hanging about in the house rather than money. Tombola seems an ok way to raise funds.

Money donations can get mighty expensive over a term x3 dc and whilst I do it and understand it's for a good cause it can leave me pretty short.

Sorry though but cakes just don't appeal to me tbh. I just don't really fancy many of the cakes squished onto paper plates at twice the price of what they're worth.

Yes they do get excited because it is not the norm.

At my previous school you just accepted that the kids had no money. I often had to buy kids dinner, if we ever went on a trip I would take loads of packed lunches. Teachers often bought kids dresses for the school prom, which most kids did not need tp pay for.

Tbh I prefer it when they ask for 50p/£1 because that is easier than me having to try and find 3 half decent things to send in as gifts for the raffle or whatever.

"that is easier than me having to try and find 3 half decent things to send in as gifts for the raffle or whatever."

• have you ever had a look at the prices for the tombola/raffle when the stall is up and running??? It's usually a pile of crap anyhow - I'm sure a few more bits of crap wouldn't be noticed

I had a request from dd primary ( state) for prizes for the raffle for mufti, with a note saying could they be good quality, so if food from a finest range I did as was asked but complained.

Oh I know FAQ, but i'd feel ashamed to send in some of the stuff that people seem to send tbh, but thats just me.

twinset!! Our infant school isn't bothered - they'll happily accept anything that is sent in. And the parents seem happy enough to pay for the priveledge of winning a 30p present by spending £1 lol.