School Mufti day but only if you bring a tombola prize?????

[karise]

Am a right to feel like I'm being taken for a ride?
School christmas cards, teatowels etc fine. Then we have a choice. But nobody wants their child to be the only one in school with their uniform on for mufti day so we all go along with it like twits
It just feels like mass bullying to me or am I being over the top?

'And while we're all expected to offer tombola prizes in exchange for a mufti day if one child wants to do violin in year 2 they have to offer it to the whole class for the aims of inclusion.
'

It might well be me not understanding- bad night with the ds's- but surely if all donate to the tombola then offering violin to all is also fair?

Inclusion is important btw.

We all donate to trips I know, and I struggle with that financially, but it's not just trips. Indeed our PA doesn't do trips. We do world book day parties, Christmas parties as well as the things utlined below.

I will ask agin. If the donation isn't a good idea, how should we rasie it?

I agree money isn't everything btw and its great you go in and hear reading etc, well done. But most don't and many would rather pop some cash / prizes in than have more strains on their time. The policies etc have to be designed to fir all mothers not just yourself. The vast majority don't hear reading, after all. And good though it is, readng won't pay any bills.

'And while we're all expected to offer tombola prizes in exchange for a mufti day if one child wants to do violin in year 2 they have to offer it to the whole class for the aims of inclusion.
'

It might well be me not understanding- bad night with the ds's- but surely if all donate to the tombola then offering violin to all is also fair?

Inclusion is important btw.

We all donate to trips I know, and I struggle with that financially, but it's not just trips. Indeed our PA doesn't do trips. We do world book day parties, Christmas parties as well as the things utlined below.

I will ask agin. If the donation isn't a good idea, how should we rasie it?

I agree money isn't everything btw and its great you go in and hear reading etc, well done. But most don't and many would rather pop some cash / prizes in than have more strains on their time. The policies etc have to be designed to fir all mothers not just yourself. The vast majority don't hear reading, after all. And good though it is, readng won't pay any bills.

oops

well I help out in school more than most (secretary joked in fact that they should get me a permanent pass ) and am also a governor. But none of that raises money for the essentials that the school simply don't have the money for.

As for having to buy a new outfit every time they have a dress down day wtf?

I take it from all these messages then that the answer is yes. Making parents bring tombola prizes in exchange for mufti day IS the only way to get parents to donate time or money.
And that it is upto the few bothered parents to give the school time.
Oh and I take it the government doesn't give schools enough money to teach.
Great outcome!

you are right karise - gov doesn't give enough money to schools. Not enough parents have the time or inclination to help out at schools. So things like mufti day, Xmas fairs, book stalls, cake stalls etc are usually great and easy ways for people to help out. And you will find that it is always the same parents that help out.

you asked if YABU, and IMO you are.

mufti day at school for DCs is twice a year,with a voluntary £1 donation to the school funds. no child is turned away or forced to get into uniform if they don;t bring their pound

you sounds really exasperated by it all, when at the end of teh day, the money and funds raised will benefit your children too.

bullying is way too strong a word

If home finances are really an issue no school is going to insist that a child comes in uniform if they can't contribute. All thats needed is a quiet word in the teachers ear.

As others have said though, as its a tombola prize you can take in any old crap anything from your cupboards/unwanted gifts (who hasn't got something stashed away somewhere -bubble bath/soap/book/candle/tin of something that seemed a good idea at the time!?)

I don't mind financially helping our school to fundraise - occassionaly.

BUT where it is supposed to be voluntary HUGE pressure is heaped on.

I have 2 dcs at school and atm it seems that every week I am having to give them money to attend.

Harvest festival, we had to donate vegetables then buy them back as well as £1 donation.

Christmas cards designed by the kids - extortionate.

Children in need - £1 donation plus £1 each to enter their class competitions.

Non-Uniform day - 50p

Cake Sale - make the cakes and then buy some.

At the start of the term we also have to make a £10 School Fund contribution (not sure what for as we still have to pay for trips, music lessons, etc).

So I have forked out all this in the past 6 weeks.

You can see why some parents struggle with it especially when there is more than 1 child.

Oh, and I forgot the Book Fair as well.

Oh, and the Christmas Fayre is coming up too.

What a fuss over nothing. A tombola prize could be anything - tin of beans, a Mars Bar, bottle of wine, a 20p can of fizz. You're lucky really - at our school we had to stop asking for non-specific 'tombola prizes' because we got so many dented and out-of-date tins. We changed it so we gave a choice of 'either 50p per child or something chocolate for the chocolate tombola', that seemed to work better. And yes we got the whole gamut, from superb boxes of chocolates right down to a few of those celebration sweets!

No child is penalised - we had plenty of children turn up in their own clothes but without a donation of any kind. But that's fine, we weren't about to stand at the playground gate stopping and searching everyone!

And I really can't believe the fuss someone is making about clothes, their children's clothes not being smart enough or having to buy a different top from last time. Mine went in whatever they had as long as it was suitable for school.

Nobody said it was the only way to raise funds, karise - just that it's a valid way to raise funds, and one which most of us wouldn't object to.

And no, the government doesn't give the schools enough money to allow them to teach. If it did, schools wouldn't have to rely quite so much on the same few members of the PTA busting a gut to raise funds.

The PTA do these things for the good of your child, not because they have nothing better to do. If you have better ideas for fund raisers then I'm sure your PTA would welcome you with open arms.

re: clothes for mufti days -it really doesn't matter what they wear -a lot of the boys seem to turn up in football kit at DDs school

Don't most schools ask for a donation for non-uni days? We had to take money today.

PTA supports your child's school, and your child's learning. If you don't contribute to the tombola, or whatever they're requesting, they have to take it out of the funds that would otherwise go towards your child's school. Definitely YABU.

We do the same here. Nobody actually checks whether you bring a contribution. IMO it's far less 'bullying' than being obliged to give a contribution to a charity, when it's not one that you would necessarily have chosen to support.

"And that it is upto the few bothered parents to give the school time." Aboslutely it is! And very sadly so. There are about 400 sets of parents in my dc's schools (linked Junior and Infants) - do you know how hard we struggle to find people to get involved in PTA activities? All we want is for a parent to man a stall for half an hour - but because so few will do so, those who do volunteer often find themselves on the stall all evening.

It has been shown over and over again, that one of the biggest influneces on whether a school does well, is how involved the parents are with the school.

The function of the PTA is not just to supplement Govt'l funding, but to support the school community and enhance your children's learning.

My ds2 has non uniform day today to rasie money for children in need, the flyer given said suggested donation 20p per child, now surely no one could complain at that price?

also at primary school i don;t think they really notice what the toher child is wearing, could they really care less if someone has come in their boden finest or charity shop ensemble?

Some schools are much mroe thoguhtful than others tbh. My children recently changed school as we moved to a new area and this new school is brilliant at fund raising with parents evenings, quiz nights, and lots of fun evenings for the community so pulling in funds from members of the public and not just the parents of children who attend Wheras the old school they attended it was every week, money for this trip, money for visits by outside organisations to the school, money for the 'kitty', money for the pool cleaning (and if you didn;t pay you couldn;t use the pool!!!), none of the trips were subsidised and quite often more expensive thanit would cost to go for the day as a family (local wildlife park trip cost £12, entrance fee is actually £1.75 for a child under 7).

so after all that in answer to your question yes yabu to object to giving the school a small donation where no minimum value ahs bene specified.

The Government does really give enough for schools to teach- but thats it.

the thing is, the best schools do far mroe than teach: theatre trips, visits by entetrtainers, etc etc etc. that is the stuff that makes a hige difference in a schoolchilds day to day life.

And also their overall educational experience, and presumably long term goals.

Lots of parents cannot help, we know that, quite a few more cannot be arsed. So it almost always comes down to the same few- juggling baby and notes and calendar whilst reading a letter from someone who would love to help but can't bring baby.

Tis the story all over, I fear.

And I know that findingt hat cash can be hard (really I do, on carers myself) but in the whole scheme of tings £1 is a lot to you or me- esp. X 3 kids- but not to the economy. Sadly.

PTAs don't raise money for educational basics - they raise money for extras. And to subsidize trips and things. At our school, for example, in the past year, the PTA has bought some brilliant tricycles for Reception, really heavy lightproof blinds for the ITC suite, lots of books for the library, lots of plants for the garden, new lights for the hall so that it can be converted to a theatre - these are a few examples. Nothing absolutely essential, and which should be provided by the tax-payer, but stuff which makes the school a better place. Oh, and some children who couldn't go on a residential trip because their parents couldn't afford it got to go after all.

And all because of your bottle of own brand ketchup!

yes we do this too - non uniform day = bring a tin for school fair

I think mufty days are fab.....our Kids always have to pay a small amount....today for children in need....it's a fab way to raise money without wasting anything, as for instance with cake sales...see another thread...

Does any school do mufti day for nothing?? It's always a cash donation, tombola prize or book AFAIK.

Indeed...you would have to live somewhere like, erm, germany....mufty day everyday