to think the organisor of parent & toddler group numpties

[elmoandella]

the school my dc are due to go to isn't private. but it only takes people from my estate. they built a brand "village" and school with it to hold the dc.

and i fear i am stuck dealing with these numpties for years and years to come.

i've gone along to their parent and toddler group for a while. to try and be involved with my community. as no doubt my dc are going to be friends with these people at some point.

but i find them and the way they are running this group absurd. several things

1. at the the group we must all take turn in dishing out the tea/coffee's. even when me, you have 2 dc under 3. little ankle biters we shall say. who i will either have to leave in the group unsupervised. or take into the kitchen facilities, where it is very unsafe and i shall be busy making 20-30 hot beverages and juice for all dc that are there.

2. they have a singalong time and refuse us to provide them with music. we just have to sing.

3)we pay £1.50. i have no idea what for. the room is a community room that is free of charge for use by whole village. all toys and equipment were donated by the village.

4)had thought perhaps the would use excess money for festive time/outings. but outings are all at your own cost/transport.

5. xmas party. we must give £2 per child. and bring them a gift (prewrapped with own dc name tag on it) of the value of £5 for each child. which shall be given to santa.

i've never heard of anything so ridiculous. thats going to cost me £14 for the xmas party for both dc.

next tues i'm going to a garden centre whereby kids get ride on tractor, nativity scene walk through and a present from santa for £5 each!!!

i see the organisors being lazy. i mean... how difficult is it to go to the pound store and pick up some little toy and wrap them for santa. i'd happily pay up to a fiver for them for party and santa. wtf is my £2 for if i have to do most the work myself. (gotta bring cake/food also each from a list)

and i dont see why i'm paying £1.50 for a tea/coffee if i have to make it myself.

i go to a few other toddler groups in this area. and every other one, the person that organises sorts out hot drinks.

when someone said they couldn't do hot beverages at the village one they were told they had to. the following week we were all made to sign a members contract saying we agreed to do tea/coffee when our name was pulled out of hat.

1. at the the group we must all take turn in dishing out the tea/coffee's. even when me, you have 2 dc under 3. little ankle biters we shall say. who i will either have to leave in the group unsupervised. or take into the kitchen facilities, where it is very unsafe and i shall be busy making 20-30 hot beverages and juice for all dc that are there - we do this. the other people in the group just watch your dc for you whilst you do it.

2. they have a singalong time and refuse us to provide them with music. we just have to sing - we do this too. didn't think it was odd not to have music tbh.

3)we pay £1.50. i have no idea what for. the room is a community room that is free of charge for use by whole village. all toys and equipment were donated by the village. - we pay £2. Again the room is free of charge and the school pays the insurance but I know not all schools pay insurance. At another toddler group we go to it is £140 for the year. Also there's hot drinks, squash, snacks to buy and ours gives out birthday cards to each child aswell. We get a lot of toys donated but they do buy news ones aswell. Atm they are saving up to get a shed for the trikes etc.

4)had thought perhaps the would use excess money for festive time/outings. but outings are all at your own cost/transport. - we have a xmas party but everyone brings some food and we all share it. xmas presents are bought out of the money though.

5. xmas party. is the £2 towards food? we don't have a cost as i mentioned above cos we all bring our own food in. otherwise i would expect to pay extra that week for food.

Short answer - get on the committee.

lol, thanks nappy. thought i'd save all inevitable questions that will come that i was anticipating.answered half them already in first post.

Yeah, sounds like your average toddler group to me...

are you mad?

or are you the organiser incognito pissed off with mad people?

I have never been to a toddler group where everyone had to do kitchen duty: the organisers make the drinks/prepare the kids' snacks.

I remember recorded music for singing at one rhymetime group and it was actually a PITA as there were long instrumental breaks between verses and choruses that confused the little DC.

We pay 1.50 for our fave toddler group but that covers hall hire and a generous snack for all DC (crisps, fruit, cake and squash) as well as unlimited hot drinks for the parents.

OUtings, extras etc: contributions required but usually less than the actual cost.

I think the 'sign a contract to Take Turns at Tea Brewing' is something that would make me leave a group - what a condescending load of old cock. Do you get put in the naughty corner or expelled if you say you can't do it?

Ours costs 2.50 I have know idea what it's for but the absolute JOY on MY DD's face (20 months)when she realizes where we are going, would make it worth it at twice the price

Are you seriously ok with being served refreshments by volunteers without ever offering to reciprocate?

This is the fastest way to get 'forgotten' during the tea run, IME....

Bar the details surrounding the Christmas party, it is sounds exactly like the one we attend.

I dont see the problem with a refreshment making rota and the children are hardly unsupervised whilst making the tea I guess at ours the kitchen overlooks the room in which the group meets so no issue of stressed out children wondering where mummy has gone.

Our sing-along time also doesnt come with pre-prepared music sheets either... each child "chooses" in turn what song they want to sing

We also pay £1.50 - i guess that tea & coffee need paying for, as do drinks and snacks for the children and i also know that if a child has need for a specific item that the group does not already have then this will be purchased from our funds.

I dont think of it as a big deal helping out the organisers....too often just because we deem someone to "be in charge" we're happy to leave all the work to them but y'know sometimes its just nice to chip in and help.

the committee was another farce. to appoint their memmbers in one of first meeting. they just announced who would be doing what. it was supposed to be a vote. the clique group who ran it just voted themselves. when i suggested voting another of the girls i know to be treasurer (she was an accountant before dc and eager to do something with her brain) they said it was too late as someones name had already been called first??

the committee meetings are at 7pm. completely impossible for me to go to.and from what i've heard of people who go. when anyone other than the clique group suggest something, they just say we'll bring it up a the next meeting and they never do.say they cant discuss it at present meeting as not on agenda. and it convienient doesn't get put on next months agenda

FWIW the worst toddler group I ever attended had singalong time with a cd player that parents never went near and most children ignored

The best gathered everyone together and we sang altogether - the kids and parents all loved it

Get yourself involved in the committee - then you can try to change things from within!

The hot drink thing is mad. I stopped going to a local group for that reason. I wouldn't have objected if there could be some arrangement for the children of the coffee maker to be kept an eye on, but nobody would take responsibility for that. So I just didn't go any more - I got sick of trying to look after my child and prevent her from being injured or escaping into the street, while I was stuck in the kitchen with the tea urn.

Can't you just find another toddler group to attend?

I have to agree with you though the organisers of your particular group do sound frustratingly annoying and unwelcoming

Why not start your own local mums and tods coffee group at your own house or something - then you can organise your own annoying and pedantic committee

i've never heard of a toddler group having a committee though!

Ok, so you don't agree with the way they are running the group. That doesn't mean they are "numpties", they're just not doing it how you would.

And even if you are going to have contact with them in the future via the school, just because they don't run the group how you would doesn't mean you can't get along with them or like them on a different level. You seem to be writing them off just based on the toddler group.

And these are presumably a handful of people in the village. There will be plenty of other people at school who you will get along with and who will share you views - the woman who said she couldn't do the teas for starters.

you don't have to spend £5 on their santa present. I have wrapped up a finger of fudge before (15p) and ds was over the moon.

At ours, they've got one of those fancy "instant boiling water" taps and we just go over and help ourselves to tea and coffee whenever we feel like it. Take it in turns to wash up.

We pay £2, mostly to cover the cost of hiring the room but also for tea/coffee and a lovely snack for the kids.

We don't have any music either. PSML at providing kids with music.

Santa's sack hasn't been discussed yet. But we are supposed to be going out to get pissed (minus the kids).

You could always stop going if you hate the place so much.

we have to go to a seperate area for tea/coffee. it's like a cafe area. in a seperate room.

and unless there's one of my close friends in room i know my children will be unsupervised. i have gone to toilet and come back to find my dc screaming as injured or someone hit them. when i shout loudly if anyone knows what happened someone will tell you. but no one will think to go comfort the screaming lo, or bring to me.

we also had incidents of dc escaping out door. so these now have automatic locks on so adults can only open. but i'm scared someone opens door and lo escapes while i'm making tea/coffee.

you cant plan your turn for serving. it gets drawn out of a hat.

if you dont sign form you are asked not to come back.

it used to be 50p. and i could understand this for tea/coffee. but there is an average of 20-30 adults go a time. so at £1.50 a head i feel there's far more than tea and coffee. there is no snack for dc. just a biscuit (1 max, not allowed to give more than 1 per dc)

You have three reasonable choices when things are being run by volunteers and you don't like the way its done:
a)Become a volunteer by yourself
b)Leave
c)Put up with it.

My local group- when I first went there I made sure I had change in my purse as didn't know how much it would cost. I was gobsmacked when they told me nobody pays anything- they don't even ask for discretionary donations or anything!!!!
This is in central London too!

I would walk away with my feet if I felt as strongly as you do

Go somewhere else

Seriously though...its not compulsory that you attend so i dont get the whole harrumphing thing. Just dont go anymore and find somehwere that is more suited to your expectations

see i find mine to be the total opposite. mine's run by some old ladies at this church hall near us. you pay £1. they run round making all the drinks, they bake for us, they buy huge gateaux, when any child has a birthday they get a present from them worth about £5, we have a xmas party for the normal £1, free food etc, free present, easter egg hunt too, again just £1, hundreds of eggs.

they are so unbelievably generous. i often pop a fiver in the dish to help them out cos i feel £1 is pathetic.