to think the organisor of parent & toddler group numpties

[elmoandella]

the school my dc are due to go to isn't private. but it only takes people from my estate. they built a brand "village" and school with it to hold the dc.

and i fear i am stuck dealing with these numpties for years and years to come.

i've gone along to their parent and toddler group for a while. to try and be involved with my community. as no doubt my dc are going to be friends with these people at some point.

but i find them and the way they are running this group absurd. several things

1. at the the group we must all take turn in dishing out the tea/coffee's. even when me, you have 2 dc under 3. little ankle biters we shall say. who i will either have to leave in the group unsupervised. or take into the kitchen facilities, where it is very unsafe and i shall be busy making 20-30 hot beverages and juice for all dc that are there.

2. they have a singalong time and refuse us to provide them with music. we just have to sing.

3)we pay £1.50. i have no idea what for. the room is a community room that is free of charge for use by whole village. all toys and equipment were donated by the village.

4)had thought perhaps the would use excess money for festive time/outings. but outings are all at your own cost/transport.

5. xmas party. we must give £2 per child. and bring them a gift (prewrapped with own dc name tag on it) of the value of £5 for each child. which shall be given to santa.

i've never heard of anything so ridiculous. thats going to cost me £14 for the xmas party for both dc.

next tues i'm going to a garden centre whereby kids get ride on tractor, nativity scene walk through and a present from santa for £5 each!!!

i see the organisors being lazy. i mean... how difficult is it to go to the pound store and pick up some little toy and wrap them for santa. i'd happily pay up to a fiver for them for party and santa. wtf is my £2 for if i have to do most the work myself. (gotta bring cake/food also each from a list)

and i dont see why i'm paying £1.50 for a tea/coffee if i have to make it myself.

i go to a few other toddler groups in this area. and every other one, the person that organises sorts out hot drinks.

when someone said they couldn't do hot beverages at the village one they were told they had to. the following week we were all made to sign a members contract saying we agreed to do tea/coffee when our name was pulled out of hat.

I would walk away with my hands

meant
a)Become a volunteer yourself
not
'a)Become a volunteer by yourself'

doh.

the reason i go is that my ds will be going to nursery with same dc in april. would be nice for him to get used to some of them. he can be a very odd little chap. dd would barge in and hold her own anywhere. ds is a bit sensitive and i'm getting him used to going to the school as it's same place as he'll be attending nursery.

Can you give us a demo balloonslayer?

If it is your turn to make tea/coffee I would say to the organiser no problem would you just mind watching my DC cos I don't really want them around boiling water.

We only have tea/coffee and 1 biscuit per child too.

But they do have to replace toys when they get broken and as we all know toys aren't cheap.

she wouldn't do it. someone asked before to look after their dc and she said she was too busy "organising"

no replacement toys. people are still donating toys.they have a staggering amount

Doesn't really sound like you or your ds are bonding with them all though. I'd give it up and, as Ballonslayer says, walk away... with my hands!

right. i'm just gonna stop going. dont think i have much choice. wanted to find out if this was common practice really.

puppy - tbh he doesn't bond at all. he always ends up sitting by himself playing with something on his own. and he may be sensitive. but i'd thought after a year of going he'd have come out his shell. at other group orientated things he's settled well eventually

Oh stuff them then and worry about settling in at nursery when the time comes. He could be a different lad by then anyway!

but they will have to replace them eventually and you honestly can't expect the organiser to run it for free can you? £30 for 3 hours work, insurance, tea, coffee, squash and biscuits and new toys every once in a while doesn't exactly sound over the top to me!

I would still ask and say well can you see if someone can else I can't do it. I doubt every single parent would refuse to watch them. If they do then say well I can't do it then. If they say well you have to leave so be it but it's worth asking isn't it.

If you don't like it, do something else! I run a toddler group and there is nothing worse than someone who sits on their arse for the whole session, moaning about the set up and contributing nothing. There are several at mine who have two children and who seem to think this absolves them from any duties. Well guess what? I have two children too!
If you don't like the way the Christmas party gifts are set up why don't you volunteer to buy some gifts and wrap them yourself?
If you don't like songtime why not suggest investing in some musical instruments/shakers/parachute etc to make it more interesting. Why don't you make song time your thing?
If you are finding making tea difficult why not ask someone on the committee to watch your kids while you do it? You never know, you might change your mind about the "numpties" and appreciate what they are doing instead of moaning about them on an internet forum.

I dont think its common practice in toddler groups - but does happen

I would think about starting a group at home or another venue - relaxed hanging out - no committee

Out toddler group uses a cd player and I want to smash it with a hammer every week. It takes a minute and a half to find every song and half of them have not even got the right tune.

I think the idea of bringing your own present for santa to give your child is a stroke of genius. I have never heard of it before. That way you can give the something you want them to have rather than getting lumbered with a pile of tatt. Surely you don't have to spend £5. They aren't going to check are they?

I go to a few groups and none of them are run to my own exacting standards! If the room is free why don't you start your own group?

nicky - i'm not one that is in corner moaning. .. well i am now.. but i did try to begin with. offered music for song time. i put my name down for rota (what they did before drawing names), i brought someone to watch my dc. only to turn up and one of committee member friends doing it as that particular week was better for her. i kicked up a fuss that time. since i had brought help and gone to an effort. and i was ignored and told to put my name down for another week - wtf

i suggested doing gifts myself today when they announced xmas party details. i said if they give me number for toddlers and babies i could get 2 types of gifts for appropriate age. i was told committee had already agreed to do it their way. and they would not be altering it. they want everyone to get a gift for their dc that they know what they are getting is appropriate

I bet you come to the toddler group that I run..

Are you that lady that sits in the corner and never helps when every week come rain or shine or sick children or up all night being poorly I have been there on time and set up

there is very little praise for people who run toddler groups but those of us who do it because we know that generally the sessions are enjoyed by the children.

it isn't hard to take it in turns to make the tea and surely if there are 20-25 parents then you won't have to make tea more than twice a year what is the problem with that??

I don't really like the present from Santa thing at all, (presents are for Xmas day not every day for the last few weeks of term and then Xmas day too IMO) but far prefer to choose my own if I go to such a party. The £5 is probably a maximum value to prevent certain parents going OTT (that's what it is here)

What you describe sounds fairly par for the course in most respects, apart from a slightly officious organising style and the mysterious £2 donation for the party. Mind you, it's only 50p extra from normal, so it could be to cover Father Xmas costume hire maybe?

I go to several toddler groups which range from pay nothing, do no work to £1.50 and sign up for two "duties" a term - hoovering, setting out toys or organising a craft activity for all the children.

1. They probably ask people to take it in turns as otherwise it ends up being the same few people having to do it every week. Even if your really close friends aren't there, is there really no-one else you can ask to just keep an eye on your dc's. Our TG does reduced fees for people who are helping out that week. Although Ido agree making you sign a contract is a bit OTT.

2. Refuse to provide music?!?! What's wrong with just sitting and singing yourselves.

3. Do they do crafts etc. Our TG does arts and crafts. Some of the fees go towards providing those as well as tea and coffee.

4. sounds normal

5. again sounds normal. Don't know how old your dc's are but when ds1 was really young, we just used to re-wrap one of his existing toys. He didn't know any better.

But why cant you just sing elmoandella - why do you need music on a cd player

Singing is fun for children and adults

There are costs to running playgroups you know!

For a start there is insurance for the year. Weekly rental fee for the venue, not just for the playgroup opening time but for the setting up and clearing down time too. Tea, coffee, milk, biscuits. Stationery, pens, crayons, craft items. Advertising fees. Money is always held in the kitty for replacement of toys that sadly get broken.

i run a Parent & toddler group as well, and put a lot of energy into trying to make it work

we have a rota for tea/coffee/snack making - parents do 1 week in 3. we make allowances for the fact that not everyone will be able to help depending on the mood of their child/ren but we ask that they make an effort when they can.

we have singing time too. We have a big yellow kettle filled with toys/objects that represent different songs/nursery rhymes. each child has a turn to pick something out and 'choose' the song

At my group I am always looking for parents to come forward with suggestions for different things, or just to help.

As our group is a registered charity we need a committee to satisfy regulations.
why not try asking if you can join the committee?

You have to remeber that many people on toddler group committees hare hard pressed already and will often do the easiest thing - sometimes that means sorting out tasks between themselves and getting it done. I've long experience of people promising to do things and then not turning up or 'forgetting.'
I run the group twice a week, sometimes with no help at all. We do not have a committee because noone wants to give up their precious time. And yet there are sometimes 40 people there!
Look it is what it is and there is no point getting upset about it. Just accept what they are doing and enjoy it. Or try to.

In our group we took turns to make drinks (usually in teams of two people) and I just put my dcs in the pushchair when I was busy in the kitchen.

venue is free. they dont pay for insurance as school insurance pays for it. they also get a grant. thats why they started committe in first place.

they do occasional buy stuff. they recently bought a changer and couple of highchairs from ikea.

there used to be craft. but that has stopped as they deemed it too messy.

and we set it up and clear up within the 2 hr session.