To think that parents should be open to their childrens shortcomings as well as good points?

[lovleygirls]

I have met lots of parents who NEVER say anything even slightly negative about their child. No child is perfect. AIBU to think that parents need to recognise this when dealing with their children's school, so they can work together to sort out problems?

BUMP

AH, yes, as dh says "Let's share the blame."

I think.

Are you a teacher?

No, I'm not a teacher.

my children are perfect too. And even if they weren't I don't go round badmouthing them to every TDorH. Are you a whinging negativeskins or what, lovleygirls?

Ok, I'm not saying that people should 'go round badmouthing their children'. I am saying that when parents go to see teachers at school because they are worried about their child, they should be open to what the teacher says and recognise that their child will have shortcomings.

So why does this concern you?

I would be hesitant to tell all and sundry about my childs shortcomings. He may not display them to others, it may not be a problem in a school setting, and the teacher should get to know child on her own accord, as HE IS, not from what she is told. Unless there is a special need. Such as eating issues, or deafness, etc.

So why are shortcomings and school being linked?

What do you mean, "open" to shortcomings? Do you mean they should recognise their children's shortcomings? I think most parents know their kids well enough to recognise them. Am a bit puzzled by what you are trying to discuss here.

oops cross-posted

You appear to assume that if one goes to school because one is worried about one's child, one will get negative feedback about him/ her from their teacher.

That's never been my experience.

I must have perfect kids.

My children are NOT perfect. I don't pretend they are to anyone else either. Of course I am immensly proud of them, and I am amazed at their ability to make me lol on a daily basis.

However, I am not immune to dd1's irritating lack of sleeping, or her tantrums on the odd occasion. I quite happily tell people that she doesn't sleep and allow them to nod in a slow, smug fashion. I will also tell them about the amazingly funny phrases she comes out with though dd2 on the other hand, well... actually, I can't think of anything that isn't great about her right now

In fact, my children are not perfect, but they are damned hilarious- I love them to bits!

Right, I'm not making myself clear an I?

I have been to see my DD teacher about problems she is having at school. I went in with the mindset that my child is not perfect as nobody is and told the teacher that I know that the issues are probably a two way street and not just caused by another child.IYSWIM.

The teacher basically admitted that some parents can not see that their chikl is causing problems too and this makes it hard for issues to be resolved.

Anyone?

If we as their parents can't champion our children, nobody else is going to.
Nothing hurt more than my dad in whatever the bloody situation managing to see the other persons point of view, sometime you need somebody to be absolutely unconditionally on your side and that's what my children have.
Behind closed doors they have been told off for various things but in the playground it's big smiles and everything is fine, perfect in fact.

Totally agree with you lovelygirls and I am a teacher - I would have to speak to parents about problems with their kids and for some parents it was always everyone elses fault but their child's - my fault/fault of other children/the moon in the wrong orbit, etc.

Their child was an angel and could do no wrong, blahblahblah.

Drove me mad and was hard to tackle the problem.

Not much you can about it IMO.

You don't know, shouldn't know, and have no need to be concerned about, what any other parent says to the teacher about any other child beside your own.

You raise your child, and let other parents raise theirs.

Thank you sponge. I am feeling like a bad parent for accepting that my child is not an angel all of the time (only 98% of the time . I just feel that honesty is the best policy when dealing with your child's teacher.

Katie - I am not talking about discussing your child's shortcoming's with the playground mums but with their teacher - to try and help sort problems out.

Shite

I do, if it involves how their child is an angel and mine has done this, this and this.

I find one leads to the other in our school, I know which are the problem children, I've seen other children's stats.
The trouble is I believe if you let the "yes they are wonderful aren't they ?" slip for one moment it tends to be your undoing.

Katie

All children do things they should'nt and need to learn.

What have stats got to do with it?

I'm the opposite I think. I've just come back from parents evening and kept interrupting the flow of positives with "but what about his handwriting - it's dreadful" and "are you sure she cooperates in class?".

fallen - me too.

I agree with you lovelygirls

My children are absolutely fantastic, but they're not perfect ...and I wouldn't want them to be.

I know their strengths and I know their weaknesses and whilst I would never badmouth them to anybody and wouldn't discuss their weaknesses in front of them, I have no problem discussing their short-comings with friends and yes, teachers if I think it is appropriate.

I also find that if you are honest about your dc's shortcomings to yourself, it is easier to work out problems rather than be blinkered into thinking that that 'my little princess couldn't possibly have started it' when actually the little monkey kicked the whole thing off.
How do I get my child to see where they have gone wrong and teach them how to put it right if I never believe that they could have done wrong in the first place?

Parents who think their children are blameless are a real PITA I find ...