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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be annoyed at childminder?

52 replies

lilacclaire · 12/11/2008 16:49

I usually am ousted as being unreasonable, so will take it on the chin if I am.

Childminder gets paid to watch ds for 3 days, she only actually watches him for 1 of those days, I need her to keep the other 2 days open for him though in case of the odd time I need to use her on those days.

On the one day that she does have him, there is no-one else to watch ds, I don't have any other option than to use her that day.

Have just been informed that next week she will not be able to watch him on this day as she is going to her daughters scan.

I presume daughters partner is not going as he cannot get time off work!!

I am at this, as no doubt the daughters gran will be running them up, so she will not be there herself anyway.

So aibu !!

OP posts:
KatyMac · 12/11/2008 16:50

How much notice has she given you?

Is she expecting you to pay that day?

CarGirl · 12/11/2008 16:50

Presumably she is taking it as one of her days holiday as per your contract?

imnotmamagbutshelovesme · 12/11/2008 16:51

Sorry, but the sentence with the in doesn't make sense to me.

YANBU at only 1 weeks notice.

nametaken · 12/11/2008 16:51

Sorry I don't understand your last sentence.

Why can't your CM just take your son with her though?

BoffinMum · 12/11/2008 16:53

Exactly, nametaken. She's being paid for this day.

KatyMac · 12/11/2008 16:53

Sorry didn't see the 1 week notice

Umm it's a bit short notice - I can see you being upset

I would just expect the childminder to take your DS with her

But I also understand she wants to be with her daughter for the scan

imnotmamagbutshelovesme · 12/11/2008 16:55

I wouldn't want my child being taken to a scan of someone else.

Original poster
lilacclaire · 12/11/2008 16:57

Sorry, my last sentence is that my childminders mother will be running them up to the scan in her car (the daughters gran) as childminder does not drive herself.
So its not as if the daughter would have to go herself anyway.

OP posts:
mrsgboring · 12/11/2008 16:58

Depends on why daughter is having the scan. Sometimes you may have a scan at short notice owing to worry over baby's health, so she might not have had that much notice herself, I suppose.

nametaken · 12/11/2008 16:58

It's just the image of a fetus in it's mothers uterus. And for all you know the OPs son might be 9 months old.

Sorry but what possible reason could you have for not wanting your child to be present at someone elses scan.

daftpunk · 12/11/2008 17:00

1 weeks notice isn't enough..so yanbu....i wouldn't mind my child going to the hospital with the c/m..is that an option?

Original poster
lilacclaire · 12/11/2008 17:00

I don't think there is any problem over babys health or she would have told me.
My son is nearly 4, but has been going to her since he was 1, so very close.
He would love to see a baby in tummy pic !

OP posts:
chloemegjess · 12/11/2008 17:02

Would it bother you if she took your child to the scan? How old is he?

chloemegjess · 12/11/2008 17:03

Oh sorry, cross posted.

Could you ask her if she would take him with her as it is such short notice?

colacubes · 12/11/2008 17:14

Its a one off though, not like she will see this again, cant do it next week or anything, awkward, yes, short notice yes, spo yes YANBU, but its not like shes off for a spa day, its a pretty big deal!

onthewarpath · 12/11/2008 17:19

Am I the only one who think the childminder is also alowed to have a life. I do not have a chilminder and am not a chilminder myself but I do assume that sometimes things might not always go the way planned .

Why are you not looking after your child yourself on that day? (genuine question, not having a go) If she had been poorly you would have had to make other arrangements, and as a previous poster says, she might nor had that much notice herself. Surely her own DD takes priority on your DS in her eyes.

I do not understand why she makes you pay for three days when she looks after your DS once a week, is that common practice?Why would you have to pay for the day she is going for the scan? I might speak out of turn but do truely not understand.

daftpunk · 12/11/2008 17:29

fact is the c/m is getting paid 2 days a week for nothing (i know the place is being kept open etc) so i would try and accomodate my parent as much as i could..in this case i would have taken the child with me..it would be an education for him anyway, and not disrupt the parent.

onthewarpath · 12/11/2008 17:30

The c/m daughter might not want a child she does not know at her scan

KatyMac · 12/11/2008 17:31

onthewarpath - childminders often don't have lives....I am struggling with this atm myself

imnotmamagbutshelovesme · 12/11/2008 17:33

"Sorry but what possible reason could you have for not wanting your child to be present at someone elses scan. "

I just wouldn't. My child, my choice. Not that it would ever happen anyway as I am a full time mum.

Eddas · 12/11/2008 17:34

well i do agree YANBU to be annoye, I will be in the position soon where I have a CM and will rely on her 100% for childcare, but I am lucky I can be flexible with my job.

However, this is her daughters scan, maybe a one-off opportunity, I would try everything to let her go without being annoyed as she will be so excited about seeing her grandchild. Her duaghter may really want her there. Yes the daughter doesn't have to have her there but sharing your baby with your mum is such a precious thing.

Eddas · 12/11/2008 17:35

as for taking the child to the scan, as much as the cm has a bond with the mindee, maybe just this once she wants to do this one precious thing alone with her daughter.

mrsgboring · 12/11/2008 17:38

Actually our local scanning unit has a no children policy (millions of kids in waiting room whenever I go but a friend of mine's DH was kicked out with their DS despite him causing no disruption whatsoever.)

DrGeorge · 12/11/2008 18:12

I think you are being rather unreasonable. I think it would be difficult for her to take your child - her daughter may well not want someone else's child there and the hospital may well say the child couldn't be present and your child would find it extremely boring. What if they found something wrong on the scan? - your childminder would not be able to support her daughter and look after your child. It may well be that there was reasonably short notice for the scan anyway.

I would just congratulate your CM on becoming a grandma and accept that childcare doesn't always meet your needs.

posieflump · 12/11/2008 18:16

I don't get why you pay her for 3 days when you only use her on one day. Surely that isn't cost effective at all. I've never heard of anyone doing that.

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