Not to want to buy a house next door to a care home?

[ready2pop]

DH and I have been looking for a house for ages.

We finally found a great one, put in an offer and had it accepted.

I've just found out that the house next door is a care home housing 8 patients with mental disorders.

I want to back out of the purchase because I am worried that there might be a lot of noise from the neighbours and. particularly, that this will scare our 9 month old son.

DS wants to carry on regardless.

AIBU?

yes

Scare your son? What do you mean, that they will go 'whooooooooo!' at your windows?

What do you mean 'mental disorders', eh? Learning disabilities? Mental health issues? People who have had serious mental health problems and are now learning to live independently? Do you know that the people in this house will make lots of noise? How much noise does your nine month old make?

YABU.

what sort of noise are you worried about?

you'd likely get worse moving in to a house with a teenage drummer - something you couldn't find out beforehand. Or a fishwife. Or god forbid, a scareming baby or a tantrumming toddler.

I think YABU.

I think perhaps you are confusing this house with an eighteenth-century asylum.

Yes, I think YABU. 'Mental disorders' covers a very wide range of behaviours. Why do you think there will be a lot of noise? What sort of behaviour do you think is going to scare your ds?

is it called Bedlam ?

LOL TurkeyLurkey

And OP - yes, I think you are being unreasonable. You have taken a very small piece of information and made a mountain out of it.

To dismiss the house on the basis of "they might be scary and noisy" is frankly ridiculous as you know nothing about the people, their difficulties, or the residential home.

This could be a residential unit for adults with anorexia.

I don't think you are being unreasonable, exactly, but I do think that you would be daft to turn down a house because there are 8 patients next door. It is a care home, so they will be receiving care.

It would bother me slightly. There is lightly to be quite a bit of traffic and parking issues if there are staff and 8 patients and visitors. And I would want to know what "mental disorders" were being catered for, as it covers a lot of ground. As you say there may be a noise issue and it would definately affect the resale value of your home.

If you don't want the house don't buy it, both of you need to agree that you want to live there. Everyone has different reasons for not liking houses, I nearly bought a house behind a graveyard, I wasn't arsed but my Mum said she wouldn't have wanted to come round at night!

anyway what you should do - regardless of who you think the neighbours are - is go round on different days of the week at different times and see for yourself what neighbourly activity is going on. That's just good sense when buying a new house.

Its worth finding out more about the care home, exactly who you are living next door to, why not ask the neighbours the other side? Don't automatically assume its bad news - some people would call what I have a "mental disorder", I have Asperger's.

I live down the road from a 'wet' hostel for people with alcohol problems. It has honestly been no problem over the years at all. Sometimes the residents are spotted flaked-out and pissed on the steps, that's all. They're quite pleasant, actually.

My ds's dad lives next door to a unit that helps re-introduce ex-mental health patients back into the community - helping them learn to live and cope independently. My parents live opposite the same sort of place (in a very naice suburban area, fwiw). Never had any issues with noise or 'scary' behaviour whatsoever from either of them.

My mother actually spent some time as an in-patient in a unit for women experiencing mental-health crises. As far as I know, she didn't scare the small children who lived in the house next door.

Well personally I think you are right to be circumspect. I once lived next door to a very similar care home. We were woken every morning between 4.30 and 5.00 am by screaming and banging on the walls etc. Of course care homes differ enormously but it may be worth investigating the noise at different times of the day.

Right, well I should have expected that I suppose.

I have done quite a bit of research on the home, thank you. It houses patients aged between 18 and 35 who have been recently released from institutions but have mental disorders or psychiatric probs such that they cannot live alone (learning disabilities are specifically excluded from thier remit).

Their most recent report also lists several complaints from neighbours about noise, including screeching and swearing coming from residents.

Is it really U to not want to subject my son to that when we could easily buy a house elsewhere. Yes normal families make noise but this will be of a different sort.

We didn't get the graveyard house by the way cos the wanker we were buying from pulled out of the sale 2 days before we moved in!!! That was nearly 5 years ago and I would still like to break his knee caps now. Glad didn't get that house now though .

I read your intial post and agreed with many subsequent post about you being a little precious and needing to look into it more.

It seems that you have and your concerns are well grounded. I would not, in the circumstances you describe, buy this house.

Not only will it potentially affect your quality of life but it will be difficult to resell. I would pull out with not further questions. Especially as it is a buyers market at the mo!

DO you want to buy mine? Its very nice and in a quiet residential street

Well, quite apart from the fact that your son will be 9 months old, so hardly able to differentiate between 'acceptable family' noise and the sort made by scary mentalists - I can never understand why people don't include all the info in their OP...

You obviously feel uncomfortable about living there, so it's probably a no-no really, isn't it? If you can 'easily' buy a house elsewhere, do so, I'd say.

We have a center for adults with learning difficulties next door to our house. I volunteer there on wednesday afternoons. They quite often get naked inappropriately and they make a lot of noise and swear a lot in my childrens hearing. I don't mind as I know them and can tell them to shut up but I can see how it could be a problem to some.

yanbu. you are the only one who has to live there and if it is going to make you unhappy/uncomfortable don't buy it.
while i completely disagree with your opinion you have every right to hold such opinions as long as they do not negatively impact on others or you don't try to force them on anyone else.

From your OP i would have said YABU and it would have been nice to have all the info from the outset before asking
Your second post clarifies things slightly and if there is a history of noise complaints from others in the neighbourhood then, regardless of where the noise is coming from, care home or otherwise, then i dont think its BU to want to back out of the sale.