Not to want to buy a house next door to a care home?

[ready2pop]

DH and I have been looking for a house for ages.

We finally found a great one, put in an offer and had it accepted.

I've just found out that the house next door is a care home housing 8 patients with mental disorders.

I want to back out of the purchase because I am worried that there might be a lot of noise from the neighbours and. particularly, that this will scare our 9 month old son.

DS wants to carry on regardless.

AIBU?

Having worked in the field of mental health for almost 20 years i think i would most certainly not live next door to the facility you describe.I have worked in a few places where i have felt very sorry for our neighbours and that's just the plain truth.

the woman on the bus,someone's mum,the teenager,the teacher,doting parents anyone of us can get mentally ill

this type of intolerance makes me seethe

1 in 4people will experience mental illness (consider when posting on a parenting site for mums that PND is often discussed and fortunately supported)
people can and do recover

stigma and intolerance really hurts real people

My cousin lived in a similar care home and he loved to strip naked and set the fire alarm off! Often in the early hours unfortunately...

Having said that, I lived in a terraced street in London which itself is quite quiet, but the road whose gardens meet ours are full of rented flats, and we have to put up with having parties having a party most weekends. My son usually always sleeps through, but it makes me gnash my teeth like a grumpy old woman..

So if you're worried for the baby, he'll prbably not notice, but if it's for your own nerves then maybe not the best thing.

Marlasinger - wtf? Why shouldn't I post a question.

I wanted other's opinions on this as DH and I have differing views.

Judging from the responses those with experience are saying that a care home will be noisy. That is what I wanted to know - I had found out that there had been historical noise problems. DH said that didn't mean there would be in future.

The replies have raised other issues I hadn't thought about - i.e more visitors, deliveries etc...

It seems the reality therefore is that being next door to a home will not be as quiet as being next to a residential house. I don't know why that offends some of you. I suspect it is because you have chosen to misinterpret my original post.

I have not in any way had a go at the mentally ill nor would I.

Thanks to those of you who answered my original question. To everyoen else

yanbu - why on earth would you choose to live somewhere (not to mention spending all your savings on doing so) where you're pretty sure you're going to have a problem with the neighbours? Your dh is being complacent.

behave!thanks to people you believe agreed and humphyface if anyone had temerity to disagree

as you say everyone entitled to opinion,and hey you asked

yes,stigma and intolerence are very real prejudices . I am one of the 1 in 4 who has suffered (and will always do) from mental health problems,i am very fortunate i have never had to receieve any form of in patient/residential care.However, I would absolutely hate to live next to the place i currently work in.You never know who your neighbours may be,what noise or disturbance they will cause, but the reality is that living next to a residential home such as the op describes you probably will have different types of disturbance.That is not me being intolerent,just stating a fact.

Absolutely fail to understand why this has anything to do with stigma about mental illness .

OK, so to prove that we're not prejudiced against people with mental health issues, we should all go out of our way to purchase houses within close proximity to care homes should we?

And just to prove that I have no prejudice against Islam, I'll look for a house next door to a mosque, yes?

FGS, the OP is concerned about noise!

Scottish Mummy - If you read my post properly you will see that I thanked those who answered the question rather than deliberately misinterpreting it - as you have just done again.

Feel free to disagree just don't put words in my mouth.

Some others of us with experience also said it might not be a problem.

You didn't post initially about the historical noise issues. That's why you got the original responses you did. Your OP appeared, perhaps incorrectly, to imply that you thought the mere fact of living next door to people with mental health issues would automatically equal noise and disruption and would scare your child. Naturally, those us of on the other side of the fence (harhar) thought this was a bit off...

Anyway, you post in AIBU, you takes your chances. I do hope you find a house that suits all of you - do you think you can persuade dh?

Why not do a bit more reseacrh - visit it at different types of the day, talk to existing neighbours and go from there.

Follow your gut instict and you'll probably not regret it!

I live next door to a care home that houses over 20 people

I've never heard anything except occasionally the assistants having fag breaks out the back

R2P, your OP mentioned noise only as something you thought might happen. It was only later that you mentioned that you had information about actual noise problems with the place. Your title is "AIBU not to want to buy a house next to a care home", not "a noisy care home". Your post wasn't misinterpreted. It was misleading.

Why would you need confirmation from anyone here that "care homes can be noisy". You said you had information about this home. What more do you actually need?

Surely if the OP had said she didnt know if buying a house which was attached to a residential home for people with mental illness because she didnt know if the residents were going to cause a problem she would still NBU, Its her money and is going to be her home, its quite reasonable to gather some information.

I didnt see any predjustice or intollerance therem just common sense !

You do seem to rather want the house to be noisy .

You should do what you'd do with any house you were thinking of buying, which is to walk past and even hang around outside at various different times of the day and evening, including obvious problem-times like Friday and Saturday evening to check out what's going on in the street and what level of noise is coming from neighbouring houses/nearby bus stops/ traffic/ parked cars/ loitering teenagers/kids pissing about on mini-motorbikes etc etc.

Then make a decision based on whether you can live with that. End of. You can't make a decision based on what might happen -- in 14 years time someone might be casing your house as a potential neighbour, thinking 'omg, teenagers, there'll be R&B playing at top volume all weekend'.