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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Not to want to buy a house next door to a care home?

69 replies

ready2pop · 10/11/2008 15:09

DH and I have been looking for a house for ages.

We finally found a great one, put in an offer and had it accepted.

I've just found out that the house next door is a care home housing 8 patients with mental disorders.

I want to back out of the purchase because I am worried that there might be a lot of noise from the neighbours and. particularly, that this will scare our 9 month old son.

DS wants to carry on regardless.

AIBU?

OP posts:
combustiblelemon · 10/11/2008 15:27

Of course you're NBU if 'Their most recent report also lists several complaints from neighbours about noise, including screeching and swearing coming from residents.'

I wouldn't want to live next to somewhere without checking out noise levels first, whether they were from this type of care home or from someone who played their music too loud.

BarbieLovesKen · 10/11/2008 15:27

dont think you are being unreasonable, I'd love to come across more understanding etc.. but if I'm honest, no, not a hope I'd buy the house either and wouldnt feel comfortable living there.

VinegarTits · 10/11/2008 15:29

If you dont want to live there because of this then dont, buy a house else where, after all, its you who has to live there, not us.

akhems · 10/11/2008 15:29

I don't think yabu, depending on what sort of issues the residents have.

My sil lives next door to a place like this and has terrible problems because some of the residents have behavioural issues which impact on the neighbours. My sil lived there and then the house was bought and converted afterwards and the change in that stretch of houses is pretty negative I'm afraid.

pagwatch · 10/11/2008 15:30

I'm with snaf
This is really a non issue isn't it ? If you don't have a pressing desire to buy that particular house and have many other options then why post about it.
It would be like me posting AIBU to not chose one of two identical houses because they have a yellow kitchen.

although of course your query is much more (whooo) contravertial.

And personally I love it - having all sorts of discussion about 'mental disorders' being scarey. makes me really feel great about my son growing up and trying to be even a bit independent....

I wouldn't suggest moving in next to me either. The sound of me smacking my head repeatedly against the computer tends to disturb....

Littlefish · 10/11/2008 15:32

Ok, I will change my position a little! Thank you for your second message which clarifies things - it would have been helpful to have that information in your original post.

If there is a history of noise disturbance, then I probably wouldn't want to live there because I know from experience that noisy neighbours can be a PITA.

needmorecoffee · 10/11/2008 15:38

I wouldn't live anywhere where there's been a history of noise disturbance. We checked out all the neighbours to find any loud stereo or teenage drummers.
People with mental health issues wouldn't bother me in the slightest. And I wouldn't automatically assume there would be noise.
You probably wouldn't want to live next to me. Disabled 4 year old who can yell for hours.

Flibbertyjibbet · 10/11/2008 15:45

I used to live next to a family with 3 little boys who grew into teenagers. One had drum lessons... One would come home drunk and him and his mates all play darts on the dart board on the party wall...
I could tell when mum and dad were out by what was being played on the stereo and the volume levels.
People used to say 'omg I couldn't live next to that'
We now live on a little terrace that faces directly onto a large victorian graveyard. The neighbours are really quiet (the live ones that is!!!), the street is really quiet.
But people still say 'omg I couldn't live next door to that'.

What you can or can't put up with when you move house is a very personal matter. If you don't want noise and disturbance then don't move there. But I do think you started your op knowing that it would be a contentious issue and that you might offend some people on here. So, to answer just your OP, yes YABU. The residents next door are just as much in need of a home as you are.

zippitippitoes · 10/11/2008 15:45

god its irritating when op contradicts themselves

in op at alst you found a great house after hunting for ages

then you could easily buy one anywhere

so why are you psoting make your own mind up you know if you have a prejudice or not after all

Weegle · 10/11/2008 15:54

why didn't you put all the info in your first post?

if there have been complaints of noise then of course that is a different matter. same if it was private owners next door with a complaint of noise against them.

Original poster
ready2pop · 10/11/2008 15:54

I am not saying people with mental disorders are scarey (although I appreciate it is much more fun for you all to interpret it like that) - what I said was that he finds noise scarey.

zippitoes - so soorry i have offended you .

The point is my DH loves the house. I think we should leave it. I wanted to know what others thought to help us decide.

Surely the whole point of the AIBU board is that the people on it can't make up their minds?

OP posts:
Original poster
ready2pop · 10/11/2008 15:57

Weegle - do i really need to provide evidence for everything I say?

OP posts:
Weegle · 10/11/2008 16:01

no - but is is highly relevant to whether or not you're being unreasonable. Not wanting to buy a house next door to a care home full stop unreasonable, not wanting to move in to a house next door to known noisy neighbours - reasonable

alicet · 10/11/2008 16:04

I think you shouldn't be buying a house that you are not both totally happy about fullstop. Doesn't matter what the reasons are. It is probably the biggest expense you will ever have so you have to both be happy. Otherwise you will be wanting to move again soon enough and will have troiuble selling because of documented noise problems next door

WorzselMummage · 10/11/2008 16:13

I work in a home and wold never want to live next door to it, solely for noise reasons.

Original poster
ready2pop · 10/11/2008 16:15

Thanks, Worzel.

Apart from anything else it would mean we would ahve far more neighbours than usual. The house I am looking at is a 4 bed semi and the home is the other half of it. Instead of one family next door I would have 8 adults plus carers.

OP posts:
alicet · 10/11/2008 16:19

Did you ask the vendor why they were selling? They are obliged to tell you of any issues and noise complaints and if they did not then I think you would have grounds for suing them for any expenses you have already incurred (just an aside to the op)

motherinferior · 10/11/2008 16:21

If you mean 'I don't want to buy a house with noisy neighbours' why not say so?

WorzselMummage · 10/11/2008 16:22

The other thing to consider is homes are 24/7 places, staff/delivers/visitors would be coming and going at all hours, the lights (in our place anyway) are never off, people sit outside smoking all the time (including staff at 6 am taking loudly), central heating or air conditioning ducting making that horrible buzzing noise, washing machines and tumble dryers at 3 am.. I personally could not cope with living next door to it.

ohdearwhatamess · 10/11/2008 16:22

I wouldn't buy it. MIL lives next door to a house that was converted into a care home. Now parking in her quiet dead end road is near impossible (not just visitors but staff and delivery lorries).

ohdearwhatamess · 10/11/2008 16:23

Oh and all the staff smoking outside on the pavement isn't great.

findtheriver · 10/11/2008 18:40

YANBU. You are entitled to your peace and privacy as much as anyone else. Whether they are people with mental health issues/disabilities or whatever, YOU will be the ones living next door so I would think carefully. If I bought a house and had a lot of problems with noise I wouldnt give a flying fart whether it was from noisy teenagers, screaming babies, loud pensioners, people with mental health issues or dogs! It's the noise which is the problem.

MrsMattie · 10/11/2008 18:43

YANBU. I wouldn't really want to live next door to a care home for the mentally ill. maybe that's not the PC thing to say, but tough - it's how I feel.

marlasinger · 10/11/2008 18:47

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

purpleduck · 10/11/2008 18:55

prob wouldn't buy it as (judging from some of the responses here) you may have troubles selling it when you want to move on

BTW, I'm not sure I would want to live there either!!

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