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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to want to tear down the Star Of The Week chart and jump up and down on it

83 replies

Eniddo · 10/11/2008 11:19

Every girl in year 4 has been star of the week - some more than once.

Dd1 has not. I hate bloody star of the week anyway but this is making me so cross.

There are only 6 girls in Year 4 fgs. AND its all so trumped up eg 'Brenda is SOTW for trying hard' 'Mabel is SOTW for being a good friend' surely they can find something for dd1.

OP posts:

mamapetal · 10/11/2008 14:03

DSs school have a star of the week and we know that every child will get to be a star at least once in the academic year (for whatever trumped up reason!!).

What gets my goat is that the new head mistress has also introduced the star lunch time table - where all the stars of the week get to sit on a Friday. They get served by members of staff, wear crowns, and are generally treated like kings and queens.

I don't understand what this teaches the children! - that achieving in the classroom means you will be treated more favourably than others!!!!!

chipmonkey · 10/11/2008 14:09

I remember being 6 and we had a star chart in our classroom. I didn't get one star all year and the girl who bullied me got loads!

Am walking in mud and then stamping on the chart with you Enid!

LoolaBoys · 10/11/2008 14:13

We don't have such crap as SOTW at our school. We have a sunflower that the children work their way up each week and if they get to the top they get a wee pirze. It is much more fair nad everyone has an equal chance.

MaryAnnSingleton · 10/11/2008 14:16

I'll gladly jump on it for you Eniddo - what a lot of divisive crap

Tidgypuds · 10/11/2008 14:17

We have SOTW but all the kids get a go at some point, otherwise that would be terribly cruel!

Original poster

Eniddo · 10/11/2008 14:19

I would Write a Strong Letter if they had star lunch time table at my dds school

ironically this is a new thing as the old head seemed to be able to get great results and good discipline from the children without any of this rubbish

mind you I don't do sticker charts or rewards at home as a rule so I think it is just not in my psyche.

OP posts:

elliott · 10/11/2008 14:22

AbbeyA I know of a local school that uses your system - which I agree is lovely, but is not the same thing as a reward system.
Ds's previous school had something similar and he was often overlooked. It was either the Good Girls or the Naughty Boys that got rewarded
But I agree it is naff, unless tied to somethign very explicit. Otherwise it is far too subjective and the usual suspects always get noticed.

Original poster

Eniddo · 10/11/2008 14:23

What does it SAY about dd1 that she is the only year 4 girl never to have been on it? When All the others (bar one) have been on it TWICE?

OP posts:

UnquietDad · 10/11/2008 14:29

I think it's a good idea in principle but you do have to be careful not to miss anyone out.

What I hate is the way the "naughty" children are given sweets if they manage to be good. As DD put it - "What do I get for being good all the time?"

bobsyouruncle · 10/11/2008 14:29

dd's school have a "golden table" at lunchtime too, for children who behave well at lunchtime. dd was asked to sit at it one day but declined as "there was a big bowl of grapes on the table and I don't like grapes"

Original poster

Eniddo · 10/11/2008 14:29

I think its a shit idea in principle.

whats wrong with praising children?

OP posts:

Hodgins · 10/11/2008 14:32

It doesn't say anything about your DD - it only says that the system is rubbish!

In my DDs school they have ace points. Awarded for lots of things, good homework, working hard, dished out by teachers during lessons and also the head if he sees someone doing something nice for someone else.

So far so good but....

The points are recorded on a chart in the classroom by the ace points monitor - another pupil.

Guess what - she got more than twice as many ace points as everyone else last year and if she doesn't like someone, she refuses to put their ace points on the chart!

It is a crap system, luckily DD doesn't care!

Sorry to rant but I also hate the way "difficult children" are rewarded. In DS's school, they are very good at praising good behaviour. However, if you behave badly they instigate a start chart and if you get to the end of the week with no sad faces, you get a chocolate bar. If you are just plain well behaved, you get zip!!! DS actually asked me whether I thought he should do something naughty so he could then be good and get chocolate!!!!

Grrrrrr

UnquietDad · 10/11/2008 14:44

Just in case there was any misunderstanding, i think the Star of the Week is a good idea in principle, not tearing it down.

Niecie · 10/11/2008 14:45

I am totally with you on that one. In our case it wasn't star of the week, it was the right to take the class bear home. Everybody in the class took it home before DS, every single person. They found something nice to say about all the other children, even the disruptive little buggers who spend more time out of the class room for their misbehaviour than in.

Somebody had to be last I know but why a boy who does no harm, gets on with his work and generally tries his best? It is a stinky system.

Thankfully DS didn't care, he was just chuffed when it was his turn but even so, it is dispririting.

This is on top of the merit system where you get merits for doing something well during the course of the day. It should be more objective but it still gets misused leaving the your average good child with little praise and the class rabble rousers with loads.

cornsilk · 10/11/2008 14:47

I hate star of the week. Someone has to come last. It's crap.

Original poster

Eniddo · 10/11/2008 14:48

why do schools do any of it? Whats wrong with a gold star on your work and some encouraging, praising words from your teacher?

OP posts:

Libra1975 · 10/11/2008 15:00

ok I am too old to have had this type of SOTW or sticker system at my school and as my LO is only 17 weeks have yet to experience it thru him. However I have to say I don't understand it at all!

Firstly if everyone has to be SOTW at least once during the year then it doesn't actually mean anything, so why have it?

Secondly, getting rewarded for stuff like remembering PE kit to handing in homework on time is just to my mind bizarre, this is normal everyday stuff that children need to do.

What happened to the old fashioned system where if a child did something good he/she got verbal praise and if they did something bad they got told off/punished?

Niecie · 10/11/2008 15:08

Exactly Libra

I much preferred it when DS came home from school liberally covered in stickers for doing this or that well - recognition for something he can see he did well.

Trying to turn it into a competition about who is best just doesn't work - it is too subjective.

StewieGriffinsMom · 10/11/2008 15:22

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

EachPeachPearMum · 10/11/2008 16:37

The problem with systems like this are that they 'reward' the naughty ones- so children soon learn to act-up first, then be nice/behave etc, so they get the reward.
Even my 2 year old has noticed that if you are 'silly'(they don't use the 'n' word) at nursery then behave nicely, you get a sticker.
Children are very quick to manipulate situations- though it sounds like your dd is good enough not to do that.

As people said- what is wrong with verbal recognition and praise throughout the day/week as necessary?

Libra1975 · 10/11/2008 16:38

This all just sounds like bribery.

JulesJules · 10/11/2008 16:58

Yes, jump up and down on it, and make sure you stand in some dog poo first.

I hate SOTW - DD1 was never SOTW in her reception class, and came home devastated every Friday. She could not understand why it was often a "naughty boy" who had got it - "just for sitting still when he was told to" - when she tried very hard to be good all the time. We took it up with the teacher who just laughed and said that they all got a turn (so what on earth is the point of that?) - but DD never did.

I sincerely hope they abandon it before DD2 goes into reception (next year) - if she doesn't get it, she is quite likely to bite the teacher

Original poster

Eniddo · 17/11/2008 10:21

ok STILL no SOTW for dd1

two others are 'it' this week, both have had before

OP posts:

mummag · 17/11/2008 10:56

i wrote to the school and got a letter back telling me off for asking about it. I was not surprised she is a control freak. would it have really hurt her to let my lad go on the table and then to solve the problem? Well she has chosen to take a different route which is to teach son he has to be patient and keep trying. Well he is good every day and still cannot get on the effing table and because one of my friends mentioned it to a dinner lady (who complained at being asked to the head) it seems likely he never will. Thing is i know rationally it should not matter but it does he is really sad about it. My dp tells me to just drop it which i will but i just am cross at the whole thing. Also am tempted to just ask about it every day and drive them all mad.... stupid stupid stupid bloody table

onthewarpath · 17/11/2008 11:03

for your DCs Ennido &mummag! There is just no substance to those "Rewar" schemes.

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