Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to want to tear down the Star Of The Week chart and jump up and down on it

83 replies

Eniddo · 10/11/2008 11:19

Every girl in year 4 has been star of the week - some more than once.

Dd1 has not. I hate bloody star of the week anyway but this is making me so cross.

There are only 6 girls in Year 4 fgs. AND its all so trumped up eg 'Brenda is SOTW for trying hard' 'Mabel is SOTW for being a good friend' surely they can find something for dd1.

OP posts:
Original poster
Eniddo · 10/11/2008 11:45

AND I have been in to speak to them on more than one occasion about her lack of confidence

f*cking hell and its the school play coming up soon I don't think I am going to cope very well this term

OP posts:
BroccoliSpears · 10/11/2008 11:50

That's a big bunch of arse.

I really feel for your dd. Could you maybe take the tack of "hope there aren't any problems with dd that we need to discuss, only she mentioned that she'd never been SOT(F)W, and she thinks she's been trying hard this term..." That sounds more like concerned parent than sour grapes, doesn't it?

SixSpotBonfire · 10/11/2008 11:52

That sounds like a good approach, BroccoliSpears.

Eniddo it sucks, it really does. Poor dd.

Flamesparrow · 10/11/2008 11:56

They have "good work awards" at our place once a week. DD didn't get it at all last year

She finally got some random general certificate at the end of the last day of the year, but it wasn't in assembly and she didn't get the gold sticker (she is still upset about the sticker now). The kid was there every day for the year - she seriously didn't achieve good work ever???

choccyp1g · 10/11/2008 11:57

Eniddo, sounds like it needs more than "a word" with the teacher, if two or three a week are getting it, eneryone should have been stars by now. If the teachers choose to do these things, and i accept there are arguments for and against, I'm not aruguing with how they do their job, but they do need to make sure that ALL the children get a turn. But not make it too obvious.

choccyp1g · 10/11/2008 12:00

StewieGM, last year in DS class, there were a couple of kids with ASD and they had all sorts of other incentives like their own sticker charts, extra computer time and so on. But I think they were still included in the general incentives as well. Surely they should be.

Original poster
Eniddo · 10/11/2008 12:00

I have promised dh I will wait until the end of term

I am SURE she will be soon, I cannot believe that they would do that to her.

Broccolispears that is the approach i ahd been planning. Obviously if she doesnt get it I will be concerned that she isn't doing something right.

bloody school. As my mate once said, school is great as long as you are just like everybody else.

OP posts:
suwoo · 10/11/2008 12:03

DD got to be the VIP the other week. I said well done and all that and asked her why. She said the teacher said she hadn't been it for a while

Original poster
Eniddo · 10/11/2008 12:05

lol

dd1s will prablby say 'SOTW goes to Enids dd1 who is the only year 4 girl not to be SOTW so far'

OP posts:
Jodyray · 10/11/2008 12:14

I agree its bollocks and if they dont get SOTW they can get upset. DD1 is in yr 1 and she has only had it once in reception, funnily enough when a temp teacher was in, when some kids in her class get it 5 or 6 times a yr! Funny how a particular boy has had it 3 times since September and has been made class monitor and he gets good roles in the nativity etc..................all cos his f*cking 'MARY POPPINS' of a mother has been going into school reading to classes and 'helping out' so she can gain experience as a teaching assistant. sorry that we all dont have the time to 'help out!'
Anyway rant over!!!!

Original poster
Eniddo · 10/11/2008 12:25

I don't think it is anything to do with mothers tbh

I do think that some children naturally push themselves forward more/are more confident and these are the ones that get noticed. dd1 is very reticent and manages to often get overlooked even in a year of 15

OP posts:
bentneckwine1 · 10/11/2008 12:26

The problem with these kind of schemes is that they tend to work best with the two extremes within a classroom.

1 The kids that are high achievers in everything and have no behaviour problems. They quite often are confident and volunteer for extra tasks...this can be down to high levels of self esteem. These kids are star of the week often because there is a need to be seen to reward all the extra effort they put in for joining clubs and committes etc

2 The kids that struggle with everything from academic work to social skills/behavioural problems. These kids are often star of the week in the hope that it motivates them for the following week...teachers look hard for realistic reasons to award certificates to these children and hope it improves their self esteem.

Which is all well and good for the children falling into either of these camps. The majority of children however fall into the 'no mans land' in the middle - the teacher seldom needs to actually mention them in class (no constant telling offs or regular praise for achievements). Sadly their names don't pop into the teacher's head so quickly as the children at either end of the spectrum.

So when the teacher is asked at the end of the week to choose the star it is the same names that we find being repeated again and again...with some of the middle kids fitted in when teachers check the list to make sure it is all fair.

My son was star of the week recently for 'Taking good care of the desktop river'!!! I mean how vague is that for an excuse?? But he was happy and chuffed with the certificate...asked me to laminate it for his bedroom wall...so I guess the scheme must have it's merits with some kids...but not all.

Original poster
Eniddo · 10/11/2008 12:27

I couldnt agree more bentneckwine1 (that name is awful change it please!)

I think you have it spot on

OP posts:
Original poster
Eniddo · 10/11/2008 12:29

"These kids are star of the week often because there is a need to be seen to reward all the extra effort they put in for joining clubs and committes etc"

OP posts:
SixSpotBonfire · 10/11/2008 12:29

Ennido - that is DS2 exactly - he knows all the right buttons to press.

DS1 is probably the higher achiever of the two, but unlike DS2 he isn't a pushy little sod ardent self-publicist.

sparklestickchick · 10/11/2008 12:29

years ago we had a star chart in our class I had hardly any stars and some of the others had loads.....now my mum never one to play by rules rang hestair hope the stationery provider for school and bought a load of stars and every morning before class register she stuck as many as she could on without anyone seeing!!!!

I was star of the week many times that yer

Original poster
Eniddo · 10/11/2008 12:30

brilliant

OP posts:
frogs · 10/11/2008 12:32

Ds's Y5 teacher has just started up a scheme based on points. Dc get points for all manner of things, from remembering PE kit to handing in homework on time, plus good work and acts of particularly helpfulness/niceness. There is a class target, and they get certificates for reaching/exceeding the target.

Not quite sure how the teacher keeps records (a Hogwarts-style counter would be handy, presumably) but it does seem a bit less opaque than some of the reward systems in operation. At least the dc can see where their points come from, or where they need to improve their act.

bentneckwine1 · 10/11/2008 12:41

LOL Eniddo...for a while my favourite wine came in a bent necked bottle...my friend kept laughing when I said I was going to buy bentneckwine...so it just kind of stuck!!

Original poster
Eniddo · 10/11/2008 12:56

ok I will let you off there is a story behind it

OP posts:
mummag · 10/11/2008 13:01

ooh ooh i just posted a similar thread about a golden table award that my ds1 has never ever been on and is gutted about..... glad its not just me as i do seem to be the only parent bothered at school, tho saying that all their kids have been on it twice!!!! and it cant be a true reflection of good manners and behaviour cos one little bleeder has been on it twice and he is always being sent out of the class

onthewarpath · 10/11/2008 13:34

Had this with DD1. Was told (after asking) that stickers are given as for an "out of the ordinary " good behaviour to encourage those who do less well. What about encouraging those who are "naturally" well behaved or hard working to conyinue to do well? It might be a bleesing in disguise that she has not had one yet...

In DS2's class they do a raffle with tickets they get for good behaviour, DS has between 3 and 5 tickets every weeks, his numbers ner come up. so I have tought them to be good to be proud of themself, not to get some sticker/price that might never come.

Oh and DS3 got star of the week a week where he was actually absent most days... go figure...

littlestrawberry · 10/11/2008 13:51

Thats crap.

While you're there can you all stamp on my dc's merit sticker books aswell please. They get awarded them for doing 'good things', DS1 in Y1 is a natural high achiever and has 11. DS2 in Reception is a little darling acording to the teacher but only has 3 stickers He was only 4 in July bless his heart.

They have to get to 50 ffs....

All these reward systems are bollocks, they are so subjective.

AbbeyA · 10/11/2008 13:53

When I have done the star of the week every DC has had a go once. The names go in a bag and one is drawn out on a Friday. All the class think of good things to say about them (have to be positive).It is typed up with a photo, goes on the wall for a week and then they get to take it home. They all know they have had their turn and everyone will come out eventually, obviously someone is unlucky enough to wait 30 weeks. Every DC has their good points and the DCs are very intuitive in some cases. Everyone has to come up with something good and no one is allowed to pass. It might be something simple like has a nice smile, tells funny jokes, cheered me up when I fell over etc.

AbbeyA · 10/11/2008 13:56

My DS had something similar in his class and we still have it-a lovely thing to look back on.

Swipe left for the next trending thread