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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To dislike my show off niece?

150 replies

complicated · 07/11/2008 13:56

I really dislike my neice. She's 14 and such a show off attention seeker. She drives me mad.

They all came down last night and the idea was that they help me decorate as I've not been feeling up to it at all.

So we go in the bedroom and neice offers to mix paint up and create a unique colour. I said "best not as we won't be able to match it properly later on if we need more paint" so she said "I'll make enough for the full room" so I allowed her to do it.

A while later she comes running downstairs saying she's finished mixing it. So we go up to look and to be fair, it was a really nice colour and I thanked her and we started painting the walls with it.

So whilst up the ladders she started going on about her art class at school, and then about the GCSE she wants to do in art, and then the college course she wants to do it art ... I just nod politely and told her to go for it as she's clearly good at art. So she started rabbiting on about all these supposedly famous painters knowing full well I've never heard of them and so I changed the subject.

She just gets on my nerves. Everytime she speaks she shows off. She's always trying to make people laugh, always butting into conversations, always needs to be centre of attention.

I was supposed to be going to my sister's today and when I phoned this morning she said "DD is off school but it's still ok for you to come" and so I just said "actually, I'm not feeling too well, I'll leave it".

So she said "is that because DD is off school? has she done something to upset you?" and I know I'm probably been a bit mean but she drives me mad. If I did go today the whole day would be about "her".

OP posts:
psychomum5 · 07/11/2008 14:21

you do sound very negative, are you ok???

Pimmpom · 07/11/2008 14:21

YABU and not hiding it very well if your sister knew you didn't want to go round because of your neice. I would be mortified if I upset my sister by disliking her dd. Once you cross territory like that, there is no going back.

schmu · 07/11/2008 14:21

complicated, is there much of an age gap between you?

Original poster
complicated · 07/11/2008 14:22

Ok maybe I am BU.

A few months ago she was at my mother's and looked at a picture on the wall (a very famous picture) and said:

"Grandma, who's that in that picture?"
my mum looked and then pulled a slightly face before answering "well, it's Jesus isn't it!?"

So neice replied "oh, I thought it was Kurt Cobain"

She didn't say it as a joke, she knew full well who it was and who it definately wasn't, she just said it for attention. It's that kind of thing that just makes me see red with her.

OP posts:
combustiblelemon · 07/11/2008 14:22

She sounds like a 14 year old. You sound like a 9 year old.

pingping · 07/11/2008 14:23

If complicated you want to speak to your sister about your problems without her DD being there then you need to explain this to your sister rather then make it look like your sisters DD has done something wrong.

mayorquimby · 07/11/2008 14:23

"She didn't say it as a joke, she knew full well who it was and who it definately wasn't, she just said it for attention. It's that kind of thing that just makes me see red with her. "

sorry you're right.string her up.

coppertop · 07/11/2008 14:23

But what's wrong with your niece getting attention?

purpleduck · 07/11/2008 14:24

I just asked if complicated was the youngest child, and if she was close to her sister because I have a sister who is 4 years older than I am.
She was (and is!) always there for me, always defended me to my father who was a jerk to me. Then she had her ds. Although I was a grown up (won't say how old), I did find it hard that an era had ended so to speak.

Or maybe complicated is used to being the centre of attention, or used to be the centre of attention...?

pingping · 07/11/2008 14:24

But its all child play complicated I don't know why it bothers you so much in 7years time your going to have a 14yr old son are you going to dislike him as well if he becomes over confident and cocky?

sinkingfast · 07/11/2008 14:24

God, this is so sad. Your poor sister and your poor, poor niece . Completely agree with pimmpom

frankbestfriend · 07/11/2008 14:26

How old are you Complicated?

pingping · 07/11/2008 14:27

But purpleduck her sisters dd is 14 so has op found it hard for 14years because her sister can't give her enough attention?

Pimmpom · 07/11/2008 14:28

Pingping's right. Imagine how you would feel if your sister disliked your ds when he is 14.

CatchaStar · 07/11/2008 14:28

Are you serious?

She's just enthusiastic. Jees, I wish I was that zesty at 14 - I was a moody cow!

She's trying to share with you, and she's telling you all of this most likely looking for some sort of praise, or some kind of positive reaction that tells her you're proud of her. You are her Aunt, after all.

This is what children do, don't take that away from her. At least she isn't some angry terror with 5 asbos slapped to her ass - then I could understand your complaints!

pigleto · 07/11/2008 14:29

Thank you for this thread. It has made me apprieciate my own aunt. She has always encouraged me in my dreams and fantasies, been a shoulder to cry on and jolly good laugh.

She lets me waffle on about potty training and cake baking even though at 83 her potty training days were a while ago and her cakes put mine to shame. While I have been ill she has sent me a chatty notelet almost every week with news and encouragement which has really made me smile. She is a special lady and I treasure our relationship.

I pity the OP, if she drives her niece away for the crime of being a teenager she will be missing out.

mmelody · 07/11/2008 14:29

YABU, i have a daughter who is 13 and sounds very similar. At that age they are learning about socail interaction and how they fit into things.. sometimes its irritating but most of the time I love the enthusiasm that your niece seems to have. She is 14 and you are an adult. I think you sound vile to be honest to allow her to grat you so much. Your poor sister and niece.

purpleduck · 07/11/2008 14:30

At 14, she is discovering the world - its exciting.
Look at it from her point of view (re - knowing who Kurt Cobain is). She probably sees him as some mysterious rock god (he was dead before she was born wasn't he?)

southeastastra · 07/11/2008 14:30

blimey stop rounding up on her

mabanana · 07/11/2008 14:31

Of course she said it (the Jesus/Kurt Cobain thing) as a joke! Gosh, you are so intolerant of her, aren't you? YOu will find your sister won't want to know you if you are so openly aggressive and hostile to her friendly, HELPFUL daughter. I wouldn't blame her. Anyone who treated my kids like that wouldn't be my friend.

purpleduck · 07/11/2008 14:32

pingpong - just grasping at straws...maybe the resentment has always been there?

more · 07/11/2008 14:32

I am slightly amazed that she knows about Kurt Cobain taking her age into consideration (the 14 year old).

more · 07/11/2008 14:34

I think people have finally started getting PingPing and PimmPom's names mixed up

Pimmpom · 07/11/2008 14:34

I really think you should imagine how you would feel if your sister was letting you know that your ds grated on her.

pingping · 07/11/2008 14:34

I adore my Aunty and My little cousin is more like a brother. I can talk to my aunt about things I can't talk to my Mum about,

Maybe your Niece is looking for some closeness in you? why not try and work on your relationship with you niece tell her about the things you enjoy or enjoyed when you was her age.