To think women who have more than 3dc's are slightly special --mental--?

[grumblingirl]

DP and I are having an on going discussion about having a third child. He wants one, I'm ricocheting between thinking it's a good idea to thinking it's a terrible idea(numerous reasons). So I've been spending time with friends who have larger families to try and get a grip on how they work.

It has been the biggest eye opener ever. The mums who I've spent time with who have three children are busy and stressed (some have twins, some singles) but their life doesn't seem that far removed from my life with 2 boys.

The mums with 4 or more children, I can't stress enough, it's like a whole new world. The fights, the bigger cars, the need for space, the amount of washing, the toys, the food. Am I being unreasonable to think it takes a very
crazy special kind of person to embark on bringing up 4 or more children? I do respect them, I'm probably even a bit jealous but honestly how do they put up with them? And do you think it turns into more like crowd control than parenting when you go past 3?

so it's not for you. meh.

i have 4...quite like it actually....you get kinda used to them.

YANBU - we are very special

different strokes and all that.

I know I couldnt do it though

well I parent all 4 of mine. you just get on with it, nothing special about it at all

My Mum had 4, no car of course, and we did wear a lot of hand-me-downs. It was good fun.

YAB very U and rude.

People who choose to have more than the 2.4 or whatever the current average is, are not mental.

I have huge admiration and respect for parents of larger families. I can barely cope with the 2 I have. I think women with 4 or more DCs tend to be "natural" mothers where as I am pretty crap at this mothering malarky.

YABU and really quite rude

off you trot

Ok, so mental wasn't the best word to use. I apologise, as soon as I pressed send I knew I'd get flamed for it.

I work with the 'yoofs' so get called a mentallist regularly so maybe I've become a bit desensitized to it.

Definately a bit mental

Thing is unless you have quads it is only one more than the 3 you had previously so it doesn't suddenly go from calm to chaos.

The positives are that they don't expect lots of time & attention from me because they have each other to bounce off, play & fight with.

Def more washing but even that has it's posities dark wash, white wash, pink/red/lilac wash, blue wash - no problems with colours running. Hardly need lots of clothes because you wash approx once per day so it's just part of your daily routine.

Don't have to buy them much at christmas because there's no room to have lots of toys

I'm not a natural parent, they drive me mad but I can't imagine it any other way tbh - I found dd1 very very hard as an only child until she was 5.5 - it was too intense & all the arguments felt personal etc.

HTTKOY?

And lol Kerrymum.

I think that anyone who has more than one child is barking...

Well sometimes I do think I'm being a bit mental by expecting no.4 soon, but it's def what we wanted and I am really looking forward to it.

The things you've described slowly creep up on you like washing, toys etc so you don't notice it as a huge change.

Actually going from 1 to 2 was a bit of a culture shock

Arg, didn't see your post Kerrymum - you're right of course.

My mum had 6, my dh's mum had 7.

its like herding fecking sheep

i am special.

i find ignoring them works well.

im one of 4,dh is one of 6 so 3 is nothing.

I am one of four. My mum is definitely mental.

She could probably be described as a 'natural parent' (although maybe not a 'natural parent' of teenagers)

Come to think of it, my dad is mental too.

I am a bit of a lazy cow tbh and I do struggle with two of them but I just wondered about the thought process behind it. My friend had four because she had three boys and carried on trying for a girl, the other had five but the last two were accidents and due to her faith she had no choice but to keep them. She said that after the third one adding more on top didn't seem to add to the chaos.

I was one of three, I think that 3 is a bad number... go for four!

It takes a special kind of person, a mother.

I have one and for a short spell 3, I liked having 3 better the house feels so quiet and cold without the activity of the other 2.

no thought preocess.just sex.

"but the last two were accidents and due to her faith she had no choice but to keep them"

Not a very nice thing to say about your mate is it? I'm sure she loves her last 2 children very much and would be horrified to hear you talking about them as if they were unwanted pets.