For my husband to earn £65,000 per annum and we still can't afford to live in this bloody country!!

[winegoddess]

Mortgage has gone up, electric has gone up, 5 mouths to feed, 3 children to clothe etc etc and month after month is a bloody struggle. Am fed up with straping money together when my husband earns a good wage and we should be able to get by! I now need to search for a way of 'me' bringing in some money but with a young baby at home and 2 others at school i am at a loss as to how! Please give me some job ideas or ways to make money!!

Winegoddess,presumably he is not yet at t he 'top' of the career ladder,on £65K?

Barack - good luck - it was under my original name (which I kept for a long time, then I changed names - because I felt like it, then I flounced, and came back with a new name (as I'd deleted my registration). First post was almost 4yrs ago

I don't think you should leave winegoddess. Its just a very contenious issue to people who are currently experiencing a really shitty time. Its worth noting that this is an open forum - good & bad comments all to be expected!

womble, I was replying to teh fact you seemed to say that because she was in the SE she was not unreasonable and seemed to imply that those in surrey who do not earn this high wage obviously get all help available and therefore not struggle liek the op.
I was pointing out that actually most of us
do struggle.

Wow, a lot of that sounded really harsh.

In amongst all the shouting there was a fair amount of useful advice www.moneysavingexpert.com, ebay for any children's stuff that you're not keeping for no.3. And please don't go into too much debt to go on holiday when things are like this.

Please stay, and be nice to the next person who says something that might at first make you want to flame them. (the usual advice you would give to your kids to 'rise above it' and 'set a good example')

Still agreeing with flowerybeanbag!!!
I am also starting to fume about the huge generalisations and assumptions being made by some.
Why does someone "deserve" a holiday just because they are fortunate enough to have a better paid job than someone else? And why is it a fact that because they earn more they must be working harder? I could go on.

I work hard between my part time job (which I do in the evenings so I am at home when dh isn't to care for our disabled son) and caring for my son. My Dh works hard despite having been diagnosed with and having treatment for cancer. We both have degrees..Dh works in manufacturing in an industry that is struggling in this country (it wasn't when he went into it btw!)so income has not kept up with inflation.
I would like (and "deserve"?) a nice break in the sun but can't afford one so won't be having one. It's called living within your means. And despite supporting all us low income families with the "huge" taxes he pays, the op's dh has considerably more than alot of others to live within.

WineGoddess - I recently came under threat of being made redundant, in which case our household income would have halved to a little over what your DH brings in.

If it had happened (ignoring the redundancy package I would have received), we would have seriously struggled to survive more than a few months at our current standard of living.

I think people are getting het up because they assume that you have a large amount of disposable income which you could just stop spending, but if you're paying out a large mortgage and school fees then that's not the case.

Good luck - I hope you don't leave MN as it's a great place

stillendingsurrey, you have got me very excited about mortgages! Which other thread? We almost applied on line for a mortgage last night but held off to see what happens, is it in the money section?

winegoddess, dont take it personally. AIBU is the worst topic to post in if you want people to be nice, its generally a moan area.

Stick around, OP. Don't be scared off.

winegoddess - don't go! you will find useful advice on here, but you do have to be aware that a lot of people in the country, and hence on MN, are living on a lot less than you and your family and therefore can't understand how you could be struggling to make ends meet. so it was a little naive to post how much your DH earns, but otherwise your question is perfectly valid.

at the same time, i do think the people on MN who live on less (the majority) could sometimes try and put themselves in that person's shoes rather than just say "we live on less so you don't have a problem so go away". It's perfectly possible to get yourselves in a financial mess however much you earn - pretty much everyone lives to their means and it can be very easy to stray beyond.

perhaps change your user name, and then come back asking for tips on saving money. it sounds like you need some help making ends meet even on your income, and there are plenty of people on here who can help you work out where you can save or make extra. Just be vague about the exact income and costs but give more details on what you spend your money on, e.g. if 70% of your income is on mortgage and bills, what do you spend the other 30% on, do you have debts etc?

also the AIBU thread is notorious for OPs getting flamed, so I'd post somewhere else next time

YABU
The average wage in this country is 24,000
You are living on a lot more than that.

that amount not actually that much considering he is a doctor.I presume he is hospital doctor,not yet consultant or GP.
So presumably things will get netter financially.
(yes,I know it is alot compared to most people,but most ful time doctors at top of career ladder will earn nearly twice that)

Too right.

Seems more shocked than nasty to me.
Of course you can live in England on 64,000.

haunting hip..

I do appreciate that many people struggle. I know that I'm very lucky that my DH earns enough that I have been able to be a SAHM for my children's pre-school years.

I just find the tax system unfair in that households are worse off if the total household income is earned by one parent than if the same total income is earned by two parents.

But my mother told me when I was 5 that "life isn't fair" so I don't loose sleep dwelling on such things!

whoops - should have read lose sleep

laughing manically at the idea of having a huge house!!

What a snotty cow, is all I can say! Don't send your kids to posh schools and stop telling everyone about your 'holiday budget - dahling'

sorry, I know I'm new but this is outrageous.

Those who are attacking Winegoddess - do you really think that it is sane that someone earning 65k still could not afford to live in an average house if they were buying now?

no worries happywomble, I may just have misread.

I am cold, bored and hungry. Not a good combo. It makes me argumentative. Will go and eat and snuggle under a blanket.

Haven't read whole thread yet, but 'ways to make money' - um, get a job? Must admit my first reaction to your thread title was 'so how much do YOU earn'.

Why couldn't they upwind?

Upwind, surely it would depend on where they want to live?

Where I live, easily...

Those who manage on much less are either private renters or in social housing - OR they were lucky enough to buy before the boom.

If anyone preaching falls into the latter two categories, they may well be more sheltered from the realities of supporting a family than the OP.