To not think is is acceptable for dh to leave ds2 aged nearly 1 in his playpen for 15 minutes whilst he went to the garage!

[Sails]

DS1 and I have been ill today with an upset tummy. DH just happened to be off today. This afternoon exhausted by it alll we both fell asleep on the settee leaving dh to look after ds2 - his suggestion. When I woke up I saw ds2 in his playpen and I said to him hello little chap how long have you been there? At which point dh replied just a quarter of an hour thats all whilst I did a few jobs in the garage! He just could not understand whilst I was so annoyed! He said I do like to make an issue of things and I do go on! He said it was only a quarter of an hour thats all maximum!
I said we never bought the play pen for that NEVER! Its used so I can do things in the kitchen for his own safety or if I need to go to the toilet etc. Always for very very short periods. Its situated in the dining room and he can see me in the kitchen. He then said that he was not going to let him have the run of the house and I was asleep after all! Hasn't occurred to him to maybe not do the jobs until later and thought I was being totally over the top and just going on etc.
AIBU or was he? He is not pfb btw!

YABU-he wasn't alone-you were in the room with him!

Yabu, You where sleeping closeby. I think DH was quit sensible in reducing the area DD2 could have wandered in while you were sleeping. Does not sound like he is an unfit dad to me. Maybe he should have woken you up to say he was going to the garage for a bit. On the other hand he was probably thinking you needed the rest and took the option he thought was the safest for baby, less tiring for you and most efficient for him.

i think you get the general gist of YABU.
lets face it when you are asleep in bed your LO is in their cot (with bars) either asleep or awake. If she is not happy she will let you know and you will go to her. I cant see teh difference between that and if she was asleep upstairs in her cot and you were downstairs in the kitchen working. You surely cant expect to watch her 24 hours a day. babies need some peace to explore and learn too. It sounds like your dh put her in there to amuse herself which she was doing and did a couple of jobs.

YABU

I think what would have annoyed me is not the use of the playpen per se but the fact that you were ill and fast asleep and your DH buggered off so if the kid in the playpen had got upset you would have been woken up and had to deal with it all.

Hope you had a reasonable night!

liath - I'd agree that if the dd had woken up crying, then it would've woken up OP who needed sleep as unwell, and that would've p*d me off & OP would have been perfectly reasonable in being annoyed w. dh.

BUT the dd didn't wake up. So I think OP has shot herself in foot.

OP, Kew is right - dh is never going to offer to look after dd again if you've "gone on and on" about dd being in playpen for 15 minutes. He did something (used playpen) in a way you don't like, so you've gone off on one. and by the sounds of it nagged and nagged him about it. I can see totally why dh would be pissed off with you. and to be annoyed at him for using playpen for 15 minutes - YABTU.

OTOH, if you had been annoyed at him, and curtly told him so, that he had left dd in playpen, while you were supposed to be napping, this would not have been unreasonable.

YABU - if ds was happy in the playpen what on earth is the problem?

Hope you feel better soon. I don't have a playpen although my mother thinks I should get one. I have nothing against them, there's just no point spending 70 odd quid on something I know dd will hate. I leave her in her cot with toys for 10 minutes while I have a shower or even 30 secs while I have a quick wee and she screams blue murder. If your ds is happy playing in there then that's a real bonus. You're lucky!

I don't think 15 mins is long, especially if your child was playing happily in there.

I think its easy (for me anyway) to criticise partners/husbands for not having the same "high standards" of childcare. I do this to my DH and then realise that its because I almost feel threatened that he is "better" than me at looking after DD.

If DH is there I stick to a new biscuits rule for DD (9 months), if its me and my baby mum friends we happily share custard creams with our little ones. DH knows this and he and I laugh about it by the way, before you think I am a right cow!