To not think is is acceptable for dh to leave ds2 aged nearly 1 in his playpen for 15 minutes whilst he went to the garage!

[Sails]

DS1 and I have been ill today with an upset tummy. DH just happened to be off today. This afternoon exhausted by it alll we both fell asleep on the settee leaving dh to look after ds2 - his suggestion. When I woke up I saw ds2 in his playpen and I said to him hello little chap how long have you been there? At which point dh replied just a quarter of an hour thats all whilst I did a few jobs in the garage! He just could not understand whilst I was so annoyed! He said I do like to make an issue of things and I do go on! He said it was only a quarter of an hour thats all maximum!
I said we never bought the play pen for that NEVER! Its used so I can do things in the kitchen for his own safety or if I need to go to the toilet etc. Always for very very short periods. Its situated in the dining room and he can see me in the kitchen. He then said that he was not going to let him have the run of the house and I was asleep after all! Hasn't occurred to him to maybe not do the jobs until later and thought I was being totally over the top and just going on etc.
AIBU or was he? He is not pfb btw!

yabu

when ds was little I used to put him in his playpen while i had a bath. He loved it in there.

Every night when you put your ds to bed he is in a room on his own for several hours - how do you possibly cope with that?

He was safe and presumably happy enough , you were within earshot. dh was being productive and had come back to check on him - sorry yabu.

I second the box of frogs, Bree

YABU

yabu

Why is you putting him the play pen to do jobs in the kitchen different to DH doing jobs in the garage?

Actually Bramshot has a good point - he'd offloaded the responsiblity on to her.

She doesn't sound box of frogs to me. Just slightly narky

were you not glad of the sleep?maybe illness impeding your judgement as YABU

But are there not times OP when you put your child in the playpen when you need to do something? Isn't that just what DH was doing? Not offloading on you at all. Just assuming that it's perfectly OK to leave a child in a playpen whilst he does something that needs doing?

I just couldn't help thinking that he was placed in there unnecessarily anhd I felt sorry for him. Anyway I'm off to bed still feeling dreadful and ds2 is not settling at all. Really hope he hasn't got it too!

Hope you are feeling better tomorrow sails. And DS too.

get well soon sails

and kudos to you for not spitting the dummy out after you got a bit of a pasting on this thread !

yabu.

Fine and sensible

Sorry to hear you've been poorly, Sails, but as a mother of a PFB, YABU.
I leave my ds in his travel cot with a few toys while I hang the washing out or other things like that!
Besides, you were in the room with him, I honestly cannot see what you are so upset about!

Hope you feel better tomorrow sails, I agree with Bramshot

YABU

I agree with onepieceoflolipop; the greater danger was that your older ds (who was in your care anyway) would wake up. He could have got into far more danger - find mummy asleep so go looking for daddy, for example. ds2 was safe, playing happily in his playpen

Agree, YA being a bit U! If your DS had left him there for 2 hours while he had gone out or was watching TV in a different room, then it would be different.

But good on you for not using your playpen as a place to keep your kids while you go about your life. I know a woman who puts her 2 year old in there for a whole afternoon while she watches TV/makes phone calls/sleeps.

if it makes you feel any better i too also used to put my ds1 in his playpen while i had a bath (we never had a shower then so it took a while). i would stick on a kiddies cd and he loved it! he was just in the next room and if it had caused him any upset i wouldnt have done it. he had all his fave toys and books.
more recently when i was pregnant, in order for me to get a lie in, my dh would put my ds2 in the playpen while i was in bed in the next room and he took our ds1 to nursery which is just round the corner.
one morning my dh was at work and i had to take them all on the nursery run and my ds1 said to me, "but daddy just puts andy in the playpen"!!! whereupon i impressed on him that i was in the bedroom next door! he was not left in the house himself!
i thought it was pretty funny.

God i wish mine would stay quietly in a playpen for 15 mins while i slept.
YABU come on what does he do in his cot in the morning.

My girls would have stayed in their playpen for hours on end if i let them . Chuck some toys in there, put some crazy kid show on the telly and it gives you time to get a lot done, knowing that they are safe.

It was also handy when they were driving me up the wall and i just needed to put them somewhere safe while i counted to ten

My son on the other hand, screamed his head off if i put him anywhere near it!

15 mins is fine and if he had been distressed by it, he would surely have let you know!

yabu, isn't that the point of it? we have one and they both get in themselves (ds is 5! and dd is nearly 2) if he wasn't screaming what's the problem (and even if he was at least he's not in the garage drinking turps)

I wondered about a playpen but my mother said "Oh you can't keep a child caged" in a martyred tone of voice designed to make me feel like an uberbad mummy. But why ever not?

YABU. You were asleep, he was safe, and if he had got into any problem (crying) presumably you would have heard him?

Mountain-molehill....