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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think that being a single SAHM on benefits is not a 'lifestyle choice' but .........

361 replies

Littleredshoe · 05/11/2008 14:57

basically scrounging ?

Surely being lucky enough to SAH with your children comes IF you can afford it? Either because you work part time, or have a partner who provides for you to do this.....

To just 'decide' that you 'prefer' not to work and live off benefits (when you are fit to work) is ridiculous and it makes me bl**dy angry that I pay tax to enable others to sit on their arses......

maybe I am ? But ......I bet there would be a lot less feckless teenage mothers if the 'right' to benefits and SAH was withdrawn.....

OP posts:
notsoseriousanymore · 05/11/2008 20:04

I honestly don't believe that many people make a lifestyle choice to be on benefits.

I really, really don't.

Some do, I appreciate that, but I do believe that is a very small percentage.

NotDoingTheHousework · 05/11/2008 20:05

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NotDoingTheHousework · 05/11/2008 20:06

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Liffey · 05/11/2008 20:06

Angels, you are just being nasty for the fun of it. You must be very bored and sad and weird.

I would work if I could. I can't. I know, believe me, I know what I can earn, I know what childcare costs. Believe me, come round to my house with a calculator. I'll talk you through it. You are resentful that the government doesn't let my chldren starve because you have to work and are only just making ends meet. Well, do you have a mortgage? You own property then! You have a husband? You have two salaries? You wanna swap with me?

I hope you never hit a rough patch and need benefits of any description.

Actually, maybe you could go round and have a word with my x. God that would be a lovely punishment for him!!!

PS, as I paid taxes in the uk for 13 yrs, had my children in the portland thanks to my works, and never needed the NHS myself, never used a car, then I would like you as a BRITISH citizen to refund me the money I paid in taxes to the British economy!

SpandexIsMyEnemy · 05/11/2008 20:07

glad u said that ndhw.

whispywhisp · 05/11/2008 20:07

Y'know what...I'm leaving this thread. I ought to know better than to come onto threads that talk about benefits and those who claim them that can work but don't cos they'd be worse off. I was always led to believe that benefits were for those who cannot work....ie with pre-school age children, disabled people etc etc.

TBH its bloody unfair on the likes of me who are struggling every month who don't get a penny (other than child allowance etc..which everyone gets with kids) and who may want to stay at home. Maybe I don't want to work? Maybe, after 10yrs of being a SAHM, I want to enjoy some time at home ON MY OWN? Selfish of me really isn't it? To finally have some breathing space...some time to do what I want to do and enjoy some 'ME' time! Yea, all well and good, but the time has come when I need to go back to work cos we need the extra money.

angelswithdirtyfaces · 05/11/2008 20:07

POT KETTLE BLACK. And you are a moron quite obviously.

Liffey · 05/11/2008 20:08

my works insurance I meant.

Greensleeves · 05/11/2008 20:08

angels I am embarassed for you

angelswithdirtyfaces · 05/11/2008 20:09

Liffey. I am a SAHM and don't need to work.Ta anyway,

deepinlaundry · 05/11/2008 20:10

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NotDoingTheHousework · 05/11/2008 20:11

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angelswithdirtyfaces · 05/11/2008 20:11

Oh some of you are very defensive. Prehaps because you are enjoying a very cushy number.

Liffey · 05/11/2008 20:12

and I pushed 'em out. It does happen.

Angels, just spotted your latest post, I think you are ugly on the inside. I've never read such nasty bilge on mumsnet.

What would you do if your husband left you for a nicer nother woman and left you with the entire responsibility for the mortgage and the childcare and the bills/??

Would you go under? Or would you accept benefits? Presumably you have some sort of guarantee that nothing BAD or unforeseen will ever happen to you.

Greensleeves · 05/11/2008 20:12

Or perhaps because the only appropriate response to pig ignorant aggression is defence?

angelswithdirtyfaces · 05/11/2008 20:13

Notdoing

Why are you turning on me when you have been saying pretty much the same as me? Are you trying to save face because you have upset a few people.Moron.

whispywhisp · 05/11/2008 20:14

'Someone with a partner has help...its easier to juggle working' ....

Eh? I have a DH who works 6 days a week, 12hrs a day...yea, he's a great help when it comes to juggle working! And considering the fact he is up and out the door before the kids get up and normally not home till they've gone to bed you might as well say he helps on a Sunday...and that's about it!

angelswithdirtyfaces · 05/11/2008 20:14

Liffey

Duh, I'd GET A JOB. Prehaps you should take a leaf out of my book.

SpandexIsMyEnemy · 05/11/2008 20:15

again I would like to state that angles has only posted today on this thread and one other - another about SAHP's.

draw your own conclusions.... mine...... stiring the pot up a bit - name changer or troll - take your pick.

lets hope your cushty little life doesn't come crashing around your ears.

notsoseriousanymore · 05/11/2008 20:15

Anyone who thinks it's an easy choice has obviously never had to face the reality.

I have (IMHO) the worst of all: I am married to the father of my child but (to make ends meet) he works away Monday to Friday to in real terms I am a lone parent during the week as I don't have another parent or family to turn to.

As I've said already, I'm utterly qualified, and worked until THE DAY BEFORE my DS was born and I struggle to get decently paid work.

And, yes, if the rules mean that it's more cost effective for me to stay home, that's what I'm going to do . I am not stupid!!!

I think the people who start these threads and post such nasty comments have no idea what they are talking about. If they did, they would think twice about what they are writing.

Liffey · 05/11/2008 20:15

Well something must be making you deeply unhappy Angels.

The Irish government may be supporting me, but at least I can go to sleep every night reasonably confident that I'm a decent human being doing the best possible job in difficult circumstances.

You seem to have lost your way. I think you need to readjust your moral compass - if you have one.

If you really are a SAHM and your husband leaves your for his girlfriend, pregnant with twins!!!!!! then you'll have your eyes forced wide open.

What sort of perverse pleasure can you possiblly derive from coming on here and making single mothers feel even shitter about life.

I refer back to my earlier post. SHAME on YOU.

Now goodbye.

SpandexIsMyEnemy · 05/11/2008 20:16

By angelswithdirtyfaces on Wed 05-Nov-08 20:09:36
Liffey. I am a SAHM and don't need to work.Ta anyway,grin

By angelswithdirtyfaces on Wed 05-Nov-08 20:14:33
Liffey

Duh, I'd GET A JOB. Prehaps you should take a leaf out of my book.

ahem well as you apparently have married a rich person then well u don't work either by your own admission do you. maybe all single parents should marry for money huh??

angelswithdirtyfaces · 05/11/2008 20:17

Liffey

thanks for your concern. i honestly think you want to get a life.

deepinlaundry · 05/11/2008 20:17

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SpandexIsMyEnemy · 05/11/2008 20:18

on that note - I conclude angles is a troll, n spoiling for a fight with liffy.