To stop my DS going on playdates at house of a smoker

[babykicks]

My DS goes to my neighbours about once a month to play with her kids. He really enjoys it and is in the same class as one of the DC. I did not know that she smoked in the same room when he is there. AIBU to stop him going?

I am amazed by the so-called arguments made on this thread comparing exposing one's kids to traffic pollution and exposing one's kids to ciggy smoke at someone's house. We have basically no choice over the former, but we can choose to avoid cigarette smoke. So why on earth shouldn't we?

I grew up in a smoking household, which means my mother was exposed to it during all her pregnancies. Thank God my father stopped smoking when he was told he was at the early stages of developing gangrene in both legs.

My bro used to play at the house of a schoolfriend whose father smoked in the house. My memories of going to pick him up from that house are that they were a lovely family but the house (and my bro) always smelled rank! I just don't see why some people on this thread are getting so upset about the OP wanting to not expose her child to this, however frequently or infrequently that might be. And yes - health-wise a once monthly exposure isn't going to kill anyone. But no exposure is even better, right? If she's willing to host the play date herself, all the better.

I really wouldn't worry about it - even if he did come back stinky. The only reason I would stop it would be if she were a heroin addict leaving needles lying around, or a psychopath playing with knives, or if he didn't want to go.

I loathe smoking and would be very concerned about DSs being at a stinky smoky house, but it sounds as though it wasn't that stinky...so perhaps chill and let it go as once a month. However, I would totally understand if you weren't happy to do that.

When I was a child, my mother ws a heavy smoker - I had massive tantrums about it and fought to keep windows open in car etc. Interesting how times change - what she did (in 70's and 80's) is now considered tantamount to child abuse. So far I, DB and my Dad don't seem to have suffered healthwise. But she died of cancer at 55.