To be angered by uber middle class people who complain they are short of money...

[Reallytired]

I know someone who has just bought themselves a 600K house. Both parents work and the family have three children and enjoy nice hobbies like sailing, and learning to play the cello and rock climbing. The parents are forever moaning how short of money they are.

However my son has a little friend who is in a family with three children. This family lives in a two bed flat which is cold and mouldy. They rent their flat as they cannot afford to buy even though one parent works full time and the other part time. Yet they never moan about lack of money, but have a positive outlook on life.

I just think that some uber middle class families need to be a bit more thankful for what they have.

I have a colleague, a very nice woman, whose house #1 is worth 900k and house #2 about the same. She didn't send her kids to a Christmas party because they had to bring a sack pressie worth about £5 each.

Go figure.

well, earthpixie, as my dad always says, 'they don't get rich by spending it.'

The more money people have, the less they want to spend.

This is true in most cases.

IAteMakkaPakka - I have zero sympathy for most unable to sell their homes, an awful lot could sell them with no trouble at all if they didn't insist on trying to make 20% profit.

Katie I am trying to sell my home and am not after a vast profit, it went on very low and we are about to reduce again so will just brea even, I would even conisder loosing money. There is just no market and it is putting a severe strain on our finances as we are paying out a mortgage and rent.

I don't envy anyone apart from the fact that having more money would take the worry out of life. I don't mean worrying about paying the mortgage and feeding everyone. Touch wood that won't be a problem. But the worry about 2 children needing new school shoes, or someone losing a coat, or announcing a school trip that will cost £20, or the car needing a new exhaust ...etc etc... and knowing that we can just about afford it but it requires juggling. And having to scour the internet for the cheapest holiday cottage we can find. No big big problems admittedly, but I hate the fact that something so bloody mundane as money takes up so much of my attention all the time when there are so many more interesting things.

But in the grand scheme of things I am eternally grateful that we have 4 walls and a roof, heating, clean water, food and clothing. In the end that is all that matters. And I do pity anyone that can't see that.

just read the first bit. Are you technically 'skint' if you have spent the money on the hobbbies, house, holidays etc? You've bought what you need and if there isn't any left its cos you spent it on luxuries.
Not being able to pay for heating is skint.

OrmIrian - I love scouring the internet for the cheapest bargins. I love seeing something I want and thinking I bet I can get that cheaper if I do a bit of searching .. and finding the exact same thing at a lower price gives a strange sort of pleasure, like I have achieved something! Paying for something without being able to know if I could have got it cheaper feels like a failure to me - Maybe thats how I deal with being poor!

If I won the lottery tomorrow I can imagine myself still doing this. TBH I probably wouldnt but it would be a very hard habit to break.

I do so love a bargin!

I think that's probably a good attitude to have Dippy!!

To go back to the OP, it's really not a black and white issue for a lot of people is it. People have different expectations and I've no doubt that what some people would see as 'poverty' would be another person's luxury.

We have friends who hardly put their heating on, their house is like a bloody fridge, yet they have two kids in private school so I'd hardly call them poverty stricken. The wife only works part time too, so they're not even maximising their earning power.

I do feel sorry for families where both parents work full time and they are caught in that trap of still not being able to afford to get by very well, but not qualifying to tax credits and other support. I think that's a tough and depressing place to be - because you're doing everything in your power to earn and it must seem soul destroying.

It was Mr McCawber in a Dickin's book who said if you have income of 20 shillings and spend 20 shillings and 2 pennies you're in trouble but if your income is 20 shillings and you expend 19 shillings you're fine. So it's all fairly relative. Some people always moan about everything. There will always be people both bettter off and worse off than we are. We were considerably better off before divorce. Now I've mortgage of over £1m but we're much better off in terms other than money (and certainly not poor either)

Findtheriver - I work part time. I would like to work full time and maximise our earning power but when you take into account the cost of childcare for dd (nearly 1, so no free child place) its just not worth it, I wouldn't be left with anymore money than what I bring home now.

A Million pound mortgage, gee that sends shivers down my spine, I think if I was earning a million I still couldn't commit to that sort of debt, I'd rather save and buy outright than pay the banks 3 million pounds in interest.
Of course twinset there will always be exceptions but renting and having a mortgage isn't a great position to put yourself in.

I find anyone complaining about lack of money because they overspend annoying.

Just think of that bloke in the million pound house who shot his daughter, & his wife, & the horses, & the dogs, & set fire to the house & the stables & the cars, & then shot himself recently, because it was all on finance & it had all gone wrong & he couldn't face the consequences (the bastard)

However little you have, so much better to live within your means & be satisfied with that.

I bet we all know people like this and it is bloody annoying.

eg. my friend has so much help from her mum with her kids it amazes me. we have absolutly no help. but it doesn't stop my friend telling me how lucky her workmate is as she has even more help than my friend. my friend doesn't ever consider how her moaning about only having her mum help 5 days out of 7 sounds to me with an old mum in a wheelchair and no help with my kids.

I guess folk just get wrapped up in their life to stop and think/care about yours

Hard to do, but rising above it is the only way to deal with it

No it wasn't a great position to put myself in but I ws teaching in a school where staff were being made redundant and the behaviour was dire and workload was huge which was having a huge impact on my life. My dp basically told me that I either left my job or he was leaving. My ex made it clear that I did something about my working hours or he was going to apply for residence. I knoew I could not be a good mother and carry on teaching in that school and I also knew there was no job security in my LEA. I got a new job at the other end of the country before the credit crunch became big news. Our house went on the market and we genuinely thought that if we underpriced it would sell. But eight months later and with a number of price drops we still have not sold. We had tenants, my sister and her friend but her friend damaged the house and did a flit. So now my sister stays in our house ands pays a token amout of rent to keep the house nice and looking lived in but tidy so we can sell.

I don;t regret moving I look back now and realise that if I had stayed I would be at bext in hospital with no career and the worst option does not bear thinking about.

So no it was not a great position to put ourselves in but we can afford it just, it means no private school for dd which does not really matter, budgeting, no holidays etc. It is hard because our car has died and we need to replace it. But i think it was the best option I could make at the time and I am glad we have moved.

I can see that people look at us from the outside and think we must have a very cushty life, we live in a nice house, have nice things etc. This week a friend asked me if I would like my dd to go to drama lessons and I had to say no, not a serious matter but I could see her looking at me as if I was a complete skinflint because I would not pay out more money for yet another activity. We also did not have the money for things they have been selling at dd primary school, personalised cards, book clubs etc and I know dd felt left out as she was the only one to go without.

I am not going to pretend for one moment that we are poverty stricken because we are not but everything is now very carefully planned as whereas in the past I spent without worrying too much every expense has to be aqccounted for.

Twinset - I think your post explains why many people's situations are not straightforward.

I've read a lot of your other posts. You seem to be a very strong and brave person who has been prepared to make major changes in your life to try to improve things for your family. I admire that. Many people would probably just stick with the status quo, but you have taken a risk, moved away from family (which I know from other posts has been hard) and seem determined to make a better life for yourself and family.

KatieDD "IAteMakkaPakka - I have zero sympathy for most unable to sell their homes, an awful lot could sell them with no trouble at all if they didn't insist on trying to make 20% profit."

the only flaw with that is that as the higher house prices fall dramatically, it pushes down the lower house prices as well. DH and I have had to take our house off the market because we wouldn't break even on our home, we'd end up with negative equity. On some of the lower houses, especially those of us who purchased them during the boom, there is not a lot of room for price decline.

I don;t know about strong person you just deal with what life gives you, but I am driven by a desire to give my dd a better start than I had.

Looking back now the move was brave, perhaps foofhardy and we have a much better standard of life now so I know we have made the best decision. It will be hard for a while as we have to adjust to higher house prices and have to sell our old house. We should come out winners as we are buying into a more espensive market so if we loose 10% on our house we well loose abourt £15K but if we save 10% down here that will be between £20K and £30K of the asking price. I am worried about getting a mortagage as I have taken a pay cut to move down here and we have had a few problems with the bills.

It is very hard without family here especially as things are difficult between me and dp at the moment but in a about two years we will be completley debt free apart from mortgage and hopefully in our lovely new home.

We are lucky that we won;t be negative equity as we bought five years ago when prices were soaring. Luckily we put down a good deposit so I am hoping we will just get that deposit back with no profit, that tbh is fine by me.

"All I ask is the chance to prove that money can't make me happy."
"Money can't buy you happiness but it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery."
Spike Milligan

Quite often, people want to make 20% profit not because they want profit, but because in order to move into the house they want, they need that extra 20%.

People don't control the market in which they operate.

That's very true LittleBella.

The costs of moving are HUGE. Just stamp duty alone. Now that's just paying money for no damn good reason to the Govt. Suddenly that 20% doesn't seem so rosy after all......

KatieDD said "I have zero sympathy for most unable to sell their homes, an awful lot could sell them with no trouble at all if they didn't insist on trying to make 20% profit."

If I could sell my home I could rent and between savings on insurance, rent being less and not having to pay so much for income protection (mortgage payers are not eligible for housing benefit) I would be a good £300 a month better off. So we wouldn't have to get ourselves in a mess trying to tax the car or afford Christmas. However, to sell it now I would have to sell for the same or less than I owe against it. Add the costs of moving, solicitors and estate agency, home information pack etc and I would be several thousand pounds less well off. Not such a problem if you have several thousand pounds to start with - but I only have a couple of hundred saved for an emergency.

Back to the OP - someone mentioned trying to find the cheapest possible holiday cottage. I get a bit frustrated when I hear people say "We haven't even had a holiday this year". Like a holiday's some sort of essential. Food and power are essential.

I didn't take out a million pound mortgage. We would have been mortgage free now but I married someone who earned less and who had very high financial demands in the divorce. It basically all went to my ex husband. Obviously I could have chosen to move us into a flat and then I could have been debt free.