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AIBU?

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Original poster

To be angered by uber middle class people who complain they are short of money...

140 replies

Reallytired · 01/11/2008 11:11

I know someone who has just bought themselves a 600K house. Both parents work and the family have three children and enjoy nice hobbies like sailing, and learning to play the cello and rock climbing. The parents are forever moaning how short of money they are.

However my son has a little friend who is in a family with three children. This family lives in a two bed flat which is cold and mouldy. They rent their flat as they cannot afford to buy even though one parent works full time and the other part time. Yet they never moan about lack of money, but have a positive outlook on life.

I just think that some uber middle class families need to be a bit more thankful for what they have.

OP posts:
LynetteScavo · 01/11/2008 22:38

It's all relative though, isn't it?

I moan about things to people (not having enough money to go skiing etc) but we own our own house, can afford decent shoes and coats for DC's, own 2 cars, etc, which on a world scale isn't too bad.

I have to say the most miserable people I've seen in my life are those boarding to fly first class.

Twinklemegan · 01/11/2008 22:45

Expat - just read your post about your housing need assessment. No way?! That is just crazy!

Twinklemegan · 01/11/2008 22:47

In response to the OP. Could it be that they're struggling to maintain a lifestyle to keep up with the expectations of family/friends. And/or for the sake of the children as they're used to that standard of living.

We are nothing like that well off, but for quite a while I felt really conscious of the expectations of my family. Now I've put my foot down - we can't afford things full stop and I'm not hiding it from them any more. We put polythene up over our windows today to keep warm and I don't care who notices.

LittleWhizzingBella · 01/11/2008 23:00

Nah, feel sorry for them.

DS was so sweet last night coming home for trick or treat, he was on a sweets and dressing up high and he started to say how lucky we were to be going home and having a nice house with a garden to play in and a nice cosy bed and a TV and nice food and bubble bath and just round the corner from the library so we could have books whenever we want. Made me remember how much more important it is that you and your dc's are happy, than any of hte other stuff - and also that it's mainly the stuff that doesn't really cost much if anything, that makes children happy.

If you've got all the posh stuff and you're still not happy, that's sad.

Miyazaki · 01/11/2008 23:11

I don't get the association of middle class with having money and stuff tbh.

Tortington · 01/11/2008 23:13

THEY HAVE MONEY! its in the bank whilst they put plastic sheets ove the windows to keep the heat in

expatinscotland · 01/11/2008 23:14

there's a dire shortage of housing round here, Twinkle.

BUT there are loads of caravans .

they have heating, they even have 3 bedrooms AND they're detached .

and, as the show goes, 'We're Max and Patty. Patty and Max. And best of all we don't pay council tax.'

Arcadie · 01/11/2008 23:14

AStonishingly we seem to have made it to 3 pages on this thread without Looby shouting troll. [ducks to avoid flying shrapnel of abuse]

expatinscotland · 01/11/2008 23:14

'whilst they put plastic sheets ove the windows to keep the heat in '

does that really work? i heard that was a load of bollocks.

Quattrocento · 01/11/2008 23:17

RT, please come and stay with us for a week or so. We need you.

Tortington · 01/11/2008 23:18

i have no idea expat. i put the heating on... being reckless wc type

expatinscotland · 01/11/2008 23:19

you gotta live dangerously, custy .

CurlyhairedAssassin · 01/11/2008 23:20

I feel sorry for them too. They haven't learnt to appreciate what really matters in life. I come home to a house that has damp in the kitchen (which itself is awful - about 30 years old), a bath with a cracked panel that is impossible to keep clean as it was fitted by a crappy DIYer (owners before us) who botched it and now I can't get rid of the mould round it for love nor money. The front of the house is very tatty and needs a new path, the handle and lock on the patio door are broken. The washing machine works but all the plastic frontage has come off.

Sounds like I'm moaning......BUT I totally apprciate the fact that I HAVE a house to come home to, I HAVE enough money to cook food in said kitchn, I HAVE a bathroom that I don't have to share with anyone in a shared building, I HAVE a front path (fullstop), I HAVE a garden that said broken patio door leads out to where my kids can play, and I DON'T have to traipse miles to a launderette.

Yes, my house might be tatty and at the moment we can't afford to redecorate any messy bits or fix things that have gone wrong, but they're only superficial things in the grand scheme of things, and I feel that our house is full of love and happiness, as hippyish as that may sound, and therefore I feel VERY lucky.

Tortington · 01/11/2008 23:23

you are all better people than i - seriously. becuase i think that this pity them response is well not something that i do to be sure.

if someone who is clearly rich in assetts is moaning they have no money

kick em in the fanjo and tell them to shut the fuck up

i also really want to say - what makes one who is rich - more miserable of life that the jolly poor ?

what a load of shit. life is what you make it - to be sure, but the assumption that you are miserable and poor is crap i reckon.

and i dont pity them, i don;t ency them

they disgust me

the way that they clearly have no idea what it means to be skint abhores me.

Tortington · 01/11/2008 23:24

miserable and rich - is crap - is what it was meant to say

maggottinfestedbodybag · 01/11/2008 23:25

there is no such thing as class system these days that just a thing of the past.

LittleWhizzingBella · 01/11/2008 23:26

by stuff, I tend to mean lifestyle stuff - the house, however rickety, in the right area, music lessons, ballet lessons, riding lessons, holidays, outings, all those worthy horizon-broadening activities which middle class people buy for their children which actually cost stacks of money. Lots of middle class people congratulate themselves on not spending v. much on toys, clothes etc., but they do spend a lot on activities because they feel that's a justified use of money. (And I'm not arguing with that, I think horse riding/ piano lessons/ judo is a good use of money if you've got it, as well.)

IAteMakkaPakka · 01/11/2008 23:27

I sit on the fence. People think we're really pretty well off - I am quite young and have (for this area) a good job and we bought our own house a couple of years ago. Our car's only 6 years old and DP is a SAHD.

The reality is that since we had our surprise baby we're struggling desperately on my single income, unhappily (we'd rather I was the one at home much of the time, but DP's income = childcare), the mortgage only just gets paid and we can't afford to sell. DP is miles from his family and unhappy but we can't afford to visit them more than a couple of times a year. I've used Christmas savings to buy groceries this week. We'd dearly love another baby but I can't afford the time off work and would find working my job with a newborn impossible. So our entire lives are ruled by the pennies just now.

On the outside we're not doing too badly.

Swimming pools are a different kettle of fish but it's not always clear cut, especially as just now a lot of people will be unable to sell their property and therefore laying their hands on actual cash isn't easy.

Arcadie · 01/11/2008 23:27

Custardo Have you been drinking?

expatinscotland · 01/11/2008 23:28

'miserable and rich - is crap - is what it was meant to say '

pretty much.

purpleduck · 01/11/2008 23:47

peanutbutterkid

I spent a few years travelling

I am years behind many of my friends in terms of career, and when I met dh, at the age of 27, I had NOTHING as I had been travelling.

It is the best money I EVER spent. When I am aged and infirm, I will have many happy memories, and I don't think I will be saying "gee, I wish I would have settled down earlier"

Maybe your friend felt the same

Tortington · 02/11/2008 02:00

not a drop, i don't drink much = when i do i do it proper i am however v. ill (awww) i have manflu in a manly fluey way and my head is fuzzy, so if it made no sense thats my excuse, my nose hurts

trixiethepixie · 02/11/2008 02:53

Custardo I can't believe you're still up now. Where's rhubarb??

Original poster
Reallytired · 02/11/2008 13:32

'miserable and rich - is crap - is what it was meant to say '

I have to agree with Expat

It may be true that money cannot buy you happiness, but being poor does not automatically mean you are happy. I would rather be "miserable and rich" than miserable and poor.

Although thankfully I happy with enough money to live on.

OP posts:
peanutbutterkid · 02/11/2008 14:06

Purpleduck -- that's fine! I wouldn't criticise you for spending your money as you like.
But if you had a friend who carefully saved for years, but was upset because they still couldn't buy something they really wanted, would you get angry at them because you yourself couldn't buy half as much as them? That's what thread is about.