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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to expect a little help?

55 replies

kayzisexpecting · 30/10/2008 15:09

I went shopping today. I have to catch the bus as I haven't learnt to drive yet. Trip there was fine, shopping was fine.

Waiting for the bus home there were quite a few people waiting and the bus was half an hour late. When I got on the wheelchair and buggy bit was full with suitcases so I had nowhere to put DS and the buggy. So I had to cram all my shopping into 1 bag, get DS out of his buggy, put him on the floor, stop him from trying to go up the stairs and fold his buggy and put it on top of the suitcases. I'll add here that I'm 34 weeks pregnant tomorrow. Everyone behind me getting on the bus was tutting.

So we went and sat down, then about 5 minutes later an elderly man with a stick got on the bus. No one moved for him but a lady had a go at me and said I should move and let him sit down. The man refused to let me move. The woman who had a go at me couldn't move because of all her shopping. So he stood up for about 20 minutes until someone got off.

Then when we got to my stop DS had fallen asleep and for some reason he is like a dead weight when he is asleep.
So I struggled to hold him, my shopping, handbag and both of our coats while getting the pushchair off. I heard someone say "If she doesn't hurry up we'll be even later" This really pissed me off and in a hormonal rage, through floods of tears I shouted "No wonder people say this country is going to pot, when people can't get off their fat arses to help a struggling pregnant lady"

I feel kinda ashamed I let them get to me and that I said "arses" in front of DS who at 19 months is picking up words very quickly.

I'm really sorry I am ranting but I needed to get it off my chest.

OP posts:
DoubleToilandTroubleBluff · 30/10/2008 15:11

[angy] and on your behalf.
If I had been on that bus i would have helped you.
Cannot believe NO ONE did.

thegreatescape · 30/10/2008 15:14

Good for you for answering back - hope it shamed them.

SharpMolarBear · 30/10/2008 15:14

good for you
hope you're feeling better now

elkiedee · 30/10/2008 15:15

No, YANBU and it sounds like all except the old man with a stick was a selfish bastard. Wouldn't it have made things quicker for everyone if people had helped you? And I've taken luggage and baby on a bus with dp, but we use rucksacks and a small suitcase which don't take up space which is meant for wheelchairs/buggies as they can be put in other spaces on the buses we use - I don't think giant suitcases belong on buses.

littlestrawberry · 30/10/2008 15:17

That awful I don't blame you for saying something, I would have said alot worse

Awful that not one person helped. I'm surprised the bus drived didn't get out and help, they used to do that didn't they?

TheUnsinkableMB · 30/10/2008 15:17

Yanbu, Stupid feckers! for you.
Its amazing how blind people become on public transport when you're pregnant.

Original poster
kayzisexpecting · 30/10/2008 15:21

Thanks, I was wondering if being pregnant was making me make a mountain out of a molehill.

OP posts:
mankymummy · 30/10/2008 15:30

did they know you were pregnant? am thinking big winter coats... maybe they didnt realise...

Original poster
kayzisexpecting · 30/10/2008 15:32

I didn't have my coat on as I was far to hot. There was no way they didn't know I was pregnant.

OP posts:
Star1ightExpress · 30/10/2008 15:35

LOL I was annoyed at a rude lade when heavily pg. I was SOOOOOO angry with her I wanted to wish her an awful fate, but I couldn't bring myself to curse her properly and came out with:

'I hope you loose one of your favourite earings!'

kettlechip · 30/10/2008 15:36

that's awful. I hope you're feeling a bit better now.
I hate buses with a passion, I think they're overcrowded, dangerous and overpriced. And triyng to manage to hold a baby, buggy and shopping while the driver does 0-60 in 5 seconds is just a joke.
Haven't been on one in years but we're lucky and live within walking distance of town.

kettlechip · 30/10/2008 15:37

lol starlight!! that's the sort of thing i'd come out with

onthewarpath · 30/10/2008 15:39

I do not drive either and when we moved in our current area I was so pleased to see that the bus stop was just outside my door...

After taking the bus several times on my first week and experiencing the same as you did this morning + total rudness from bus drivers, I have started too walk to town (about 1/2 hour away). Dc in a puchcahir is very happy , I am happy that none is shouting abuse at me anymore or making sarky comments and never regretted the decision. Not taken a bus in the last 4 years.

Walking also made my "giving birth" experiences much easier (said midwife after dc4 was born very,very fast...) So if you are pregnant and unhappy with bus then really walk, it is all benefit and cheaper.

Original poster
kayzisexpecting · 30/10/2008 15:44

I wish I could walk but its 25 miles away. Which is why I must learn to drive after this baby.

OP posts:
trixiethepixie · 30/10/2008 15:47

It's f-ing ridiculous . Similar experience struggling onto a bus with my 3 month old. Trying to get the damn buggy down with one hand while holding him and shopping in the other. One woman tutted as I hit her handbag with the buggy on the way up the aisle. At my stop I was struggling again to get the buggy back down, again with one hand. Everyone sat and watched me for a minute or two bar one elderly woman who put her hearing aid in, asked if needed help and gave me a hand.

I couldn't believe people were so ignorant when you had a baby, never mind a baby and being pregnant.

Good for you for saying something.

jumpjockey · 30/10/2008 15:49

That's completely out of order, you're not BU at all and they are indeed a bunch of lazy arses. What would the owner of the suitcases have done is a wheelchair user came on and needed the space?

StewieGriffinsMom · 30/10/2008 15:49

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Indith · 30/10/2008 15:52

Feckers. Have a few more faces. Well done for yelling.

weecarol · 30/10/2008 16:00

Good for you for saying something!

Its amazing how many people become oblivious to pregnant folk on public transport.

I am 37+4, very obvioulsly pregnant as I look like I have a bowling ball stuffed up my jumper, I have been using public transport for a while as car was written off in an accident not long ago. Recently I have been on buses and trains to ante natal appointments where there have been literally 3 folk standing, myself included, and all the folk in seats just put their heads down and pretend that they havent seen you! Worse when one gets up to get off and someone else nicks the vacant seat before you can waddle to it!

When I was young(er) my mum taught me to always offer my seat to someone who needed it more than me and I was still doing this at 6 months pregnant until DH found out and got cross at me.

Some folk are just ignorant and I believe in karma so I hope they get whats coming to them.

Selfishness seems to be more and more prominent these days.

cupsoftea · 30/10/2008 16:03

yanbu - how awful for that lady to tell you to stand up - well done for saying what you did. People just don't care anymore about helping others.

Original poster
kayzisexpecting · 30/10/2008 16:05

I am the same weecarol, I always offer my seat if I think someone else needs it. My DH gets angry about it too but I can't help it.

OP posts:
TheRedQueen · 30/10/2008 16:14

Ashamed that you let them get to you? THEY are the ones who should be ashamed.

Well done you for sticking up for yourself. I am really rather disappoined that you only called them "arses" however. They deserved much worse.

Verso · 30/10/2008 16:23

Blimey! Am really on your behalf. That's terrible. People can be so horrible. Honestly! I'm glad you shouted at them. They totally deserved it - and more.

elkiedee · 30/10/2008 16:30

I can't believe that someone expected you to stand with a toddler - presumably he was on your lap.

hambo · 30/10/2008 16:33

Starlight that is hilareous!
I hope she lost her afvourite earrings too...

And I hope all the people on the bus who never helped the OP lost their house keys!