Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask a parent not to have balloons at their childs party??

104 replies

Thomcat · 30/10/2008 14:44

Well of course that's unreasonable and I would never ask that, but we do have a problem with balloons and I didn't know where to post this or what to call thread.

Here's the problem:

DD1 gets asked to parties a lot, like everyone else.
She is 7 and Has Down's syndrome.
She has a huge, massive fear of balloons. HUUUUUGE fear.

We quite often don't get through the door if she spots a balloon and we have to come home again.

So, we have the latest invitation and I have been holding onto it for over a week as I just don't know what to do.

It's at Pizza Hut and I just know they will decorate the place with balloons. They just will.

If I say yes to yet another party and then have to leave before we really even get through the door again, in no particular order it's:
a) it's a massive pita for me to have dressed DD1 up, settled the other 2 kids, go all the way there just to come home again
b) it's unfair on DD1 who gets all excited about going to a perty only to be confronted with a balloon.
c) unfair on the bou whose party it is as he really likes DD1
d) unfair on the othjer mum who will inevitably feel all bad (happened before many times)

So what do I do?

Do I ring and say yes we'd love to come but just please understand if we have to leave if DD1's balloon phobia kicks off? Then leave it up to her if she still has balloons on the day and it's tough on DD1 if there is??????

OP posts:
cocoleBOO · 30/10/2008 18:52

Gld it's sorted my 10 yo DD has a balloon phobia and everyone has always been lovely and either didn't have them or removed them quickly for her.

jimjamshaslefttheyurt · 30/10/2008 19:02

TC I think most people would oblige, but I do think that if you have a problem like this that is impacting on life (and balloons could be anywhere as you know) then it needs to be sorted. You cannot be expected to do this - that's why clinical psychologists exist. It's their job to sort out this sort of thing. Do you have access to one?

Push for a referral. You shouldn't have to spend the next however many year avoiding balloons or whatever else comes up in its place (because these things have a tendency to go then have something else come up - just to keep life interesting).

KimiTrickOrTreat · 30/10/2008 19:34

My Aunt is 50 and scared of balloons, when my sister got married she had a balloon arch and balloon bells and balloon trees on the tables, but because my Aunt wont sit near a balloon we did pine cone trees on every other table.
I would not mind is a parent ask me to forgo balloons,

It is such a shame for your daughter though, hope you can try to help her overcome her fear.

Original poster
Thomcat · 30/10/2008 21:40

Thanks again everyone. I'd never ask anyone to not have balloons at their party but it's nice to read that virtually everyone supports me in explaining to the parent of birthday child that if balloons ar present we might not make it through the door etc and then it's up to them if they go ahead and put balloons up or not.

JJ - Hmmm, not thought about that and I should, I will. I don't have anyone assigned to her but I'm sure I could make a few phone calls. You make a very valid point, as ever Thank you Would be lovely for her to not have such fears and meltdowns.

OP posts:
jimjamshaslefttheyurt · 30/10/2008 21:45

TC- it's a bee I have in my bonnet. We struggle along trying to sort out odd things when nearby there are these professionals who should be available to help us draw up social stories/bounce ideas off etc etc. But they sit in their offices and we struggle along trying to deal with the day in day out behavioural weirdness that comes with SN. And no-one we see ever suggests a referral.

Grrr! They can be very helpful sorts as well. Really good on this sort of stuff.

Jacksmama · 30/10/2008 22:02

Too late w/ response... but agree w/ poster who said you should let other mums know before parties in the future - would save both them and you and Lottie a lot of stress! Perhaps you could also offer to bring some other decoration in lieu of balloons - streamers, paper flowers?
There are several phobia cures around - check out this one: www.oneeyeintegration.com. I work with someone in my office who does this and she says it works extremely well on children.

CoffeeAndCarrotCake · 30/10/2008 22:25

Just being really nosey and looked at your profile Thomcat - all your phots are gorgeous, but the one of DD1 aged 8 months is just way too beautiful for words! What a sweetie!! Making me feel worryingly broody...!

Littlefish · 30/10/2008 22:33

TC - are you going to Pizza Hut? We were there last weekend and I think they had the balloons tied up near the door, although it may be different in each branch. You might want to get there a bit early, or possibly even ring the place and see what they say.

Original poster
Thomcat · 30/10/2008 22:46

Thanks Littlefish. Think I'll go a bit early.

OP posts:
Ronaldinhio · 30/10/2008 22:57

sounds perfectly ok to me yanbu

i'm a bit freaked out by balloons and clowns

your daughter is safe around mine always

VictorianSqualor · 30/10/2008 23:14

Just read the op (terrible MN sin, I know).
YANBU, call the mum. Explain, hopefully it will be ok. We had a pizza hut 'party' a year or so ago and had no decorations so I'm sure thye won't find it too had not to use balloons.

chipmonkey · 30/10/2008 23:20

Thomcat, if you lived near me, Lottie would be top of my party list! I have an absolute phobia of balloons but as a supposedly reasonable adult, I can't very well insist on no balloons for my own sake! So I would be saying to my ds's, "So sorry boys, no balloons, it's poor Lottie you see, nothing at all to do with me!"

WezMeBroomstick · 30/10/2008 23:29

YANBU

I would ring and explain the situation

If it were my child's party I wouldn't hesitate in banning balloons

MrsFogi · 30/10/2008 23:30

I would have no problem if you rang and explained it as you have in your post.

Original poster
Thomcat · 30/10/2008 23:49

You're all lovely

OP posts:
brimfull · 31/10/2008 00:45

yanbu

we never have balloons as the dog is phobic of them

Arabica · 31/10/2008 01:37

I was always terrified of balloons, party poppers and crackers (I can just about cope with crackers but not balloons or party poppers). I tried telling adults but they never took me seriously . So I spent many a party hiding myself away in the bathroom with my fingers crammed into my ears. And I therefore expect that L isn't the only little one who'll be relieved that the party is balloon-free!

onlyjoking9329 · 31/10/2008 03:01

lottie can come to our parties. I have a severe latex allergy so can't do balloons, I have spent many years having to phone up party hosts and ensure no baloons in partybags.
Our pizzahut are very good & keep the balloons out the back if I phone them, bloody things get everywhere and I can't go in some shops cos of them.
Hope lottie has a lovely time.
Can I just say that this is one of the nicest AIBU threads I have ever seen.

chefswife · 31/10/2008 03:11

if i sent out an invite, i would ask the parents to list any allergies and dislikes of their child an make a party everyone can enjoy. i think the mother would understand.

Saz36 · 31/10/2008 06:58

know this thread nearly all over but having read the responses I felt compelled to write and add to the YANBU count. I think the vast, vast majority of people would be happy to lose the balloons and have your daughter there to enjoy the party.

kitbit · 31/10/2008 07:47

I have a friend who is terrified of balloons (she's 40 ) she always has garlands and those fold out paper lantern things hanging up for her dd's parties and they look great. When they came to one of ds's parties she had a quiet word with me as I didn't know about it then, and offered to bring the lanterns herself, which was really sweet of her! (She brought a few and I got the rest in the end). Not saying you need to do that, but just that it really wasn't a problem and in your position as your friend I would rather know so that I could make your dd welcome.

Arabica · 31/10/2008 09:38

There's nothing funny about being terrified of balloons when you're over 40! Believe me, I know...

stealthsquiggle · 31/10/2008 10:32

MN educating me as always - I thought the (adult) friend who is scared of balloons was the only one - latex allergies excepted

I try to make sure there is one balloon-free room but tend to figure that he has the option to retreat (as it were) to the kitchen at my DC's parties so they are not balloon-free occasions - His DCs never take balloons home, though.

sis · 31/10/2008 10:46

TC Jimjams is absolutely right; ds is on the autistic spectrum and has many 'irrational' fears and over the years, we have tried all sorts of tactics to help him overcome them with little or no success. A few sessions with the clinical psychologist has, however helped him a great deal so please do push for a referral - her school may be able to help with the referral.

Liffey · 31/10/2008 10:47

no. I hate balloons and i'm an adult. i hate the way they squeak. makes my teeth shudder. Everybody will be secretly glad.