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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask a parent not to have balloons at their childs party??

104 replies

Thomcat · 30/10/2008 14:44

Well of course that's unreasonable and I would never ask that, but we do have a problem with balloons and I didn't know where to post this or what to call thread.

Here's the problem:

DD1 gets asked to parties a lot, like everyone else.
She is 7 and Has Down's syndrome.
She has a huge, massive fear of balloons. HUUUUUGE fear.

We quite often don't get through the door if she spots a balloon and we have to come home again.

So, we have the latest invitation and I have been holding onto it for over a week as I just don't know what to do.

It's at Pizza Hut and I just know they will decorate the place with balloons. They just will.

If I say yes to yet another party and then have to leave before we really even get through the door again, in no particular order it's:
a) it's a massive pita for me to have dressed DD1 up, settled the other 2 kids, go all the way there just to come home again
b) it's unfair on DD1 who gets all excited about going to a perty only to be confronted with a balloon.
c) unfair on the bou whose party it is as he really likes DD1
d) unfair on the othjer mum who will inevitably feel all bad (happened before many times)

So what do I do?

Do I ring and say yes we'd love to come but just please understand if we have to leave if DD1's balloon phobia kicks off? Then leave it up to her if she still has balloons on the day and it's tough on DD1 if there is??????

OP posts:
SixSpotBonfire · 30/10/2008 14:52

You are not being unreasonable at all, TC. Do ring her and explain the whole thing and ask if they can just ditch the balloons.

WhereWolfTheWildThingsWere · 30/10/2008 14:52

My Ds loves balloons, but if you were to ask me I would happily oblige and blow loads up for him for when he gets home.

YANU even a teeny bit U.

mosschops30 · 30/10/2008 14:53

I was gonna come on here and say 'oh ffs get a grip'.

However, now I have read your post and your reasons for not wanting balloons then I would say YANBU, and if it was my dd's party I would happily give up the balloons for something else if it meant someone could come, who could otherwise not due to their fear.
They can go for streamers or silly string instead

SharpMolarBear · 30/10/2008 14:54

Does your DD hate helium balloons as well? Because I'm fine with them.
Just a thought - maybe turn up with one as a peace offering?
(I know my dislike isn't a phobia, just thought I'd check)

LouMacca · 30/10/2008 14:54

YANBU. I would be happy to not have balloons. Can't stand them myself. Hope the mother feels the same way and that your daughter has a lovely time.

I can understand why you must be feeling emotional (((hugs))) Not mad at all.

mosschops30 · 30/10/2008 14:54

and IMHO silly string is loads better than balloons

Kathyis6incheshigh · 30/10/2008 14:55

Exactly WWTWTW - my dd is currently really keen on balloons too but if she was having a party and a balloon-phobic child was coming we would simply do the balloons at another moment, like breakfast on the day of her birthday.
Parties are all about the guests.

MrsTittleMouse · 30/10/2008 14:58

I would be happy to do different decorations too, if someone had a good reason (as you do). So another no, YANBU vote.

AxisofEvil · 30/10/2008 14:59

Agree with what others have said re "asking" about the balloon situation BUT you may have to bear in mind that unless they hae booked out the entire place there might be other parties of children within the same restaurant who may have balloons - would she be OK with this?

Original poster
Thomcat · 30/10/2008 15:06

Thanks for all making me feel so much better.

She hates all balloons, heliuym etc. I can't even talk about them, and I have tried to try and deal with this fear she has. It's a SN's type of irrational fear and as I say so irrational I can't even say the word without her meltinmg down!

She did once hold a helium balloon when she realised she could let it go up into th sky and watch it float away, she was ok with that, once!

She may well not be ok with a balloon being in another part of the restaurant but I kind of think we might at least stand a chance of staying. If ther was one tied to her chair or on the table we'd be at, it would be huge major melt down

Bless her

OP posts:
mabanana · 30/10/2008 15:12

I would understand and be really happy to remove them. Definitely talk to the mum. You sound the sort of lovely, levelheaded person who would explain it perfectly.

Spidermama · 30/10/2008 15:14

I kniow a girl with a fear of balloons. We all knew about it and made sure there were no balloons at our parties. We didn't mind one bit.

Actually, i kind of hatge balloons too.

Cupofteaplease · 30/10/2008 15:14

YANBU

At the dds' parties this summer we had an abundance of (handmade, n'est pas!) bunting adorned with cupcakes and polka dots- very pretty and party-like but not a balloon in sight!

I'd not be in the least offended if you rang me and explained your situation- can't imagine anyone being bothered actually, especially if this little lad is your dd1's good friend (I think you said it was a boy's party? Appologies if not...)

BTW TC, you have 3 very beautiful girls- congrats! Also v jealous that you looked so glam during pregnancy...

ewwwmy2shoesarefullofblood · 30/10/2008 15:16

yanbu a lot of people have a fear of balons.

SharpMolarBear · 30/10/2008 15:16

bunting and cupcakes lol

Blondeshavemorefun · 30/10/2008 15:16

sure wont be a problem

explain and check with mum, and then you and she can both ring pizza hut and make SURE that there will be no balloons

Cheesesarnie · 30/10/2008 15:17

if it was me and you phoned and stated that id be fine.

OrmIrian · 30/10/2008 15:19

I don't think it would upset the mother at all.

Only problem is, as it's Pizza Hut, you can't guarantee that there won't be another table with balloons.

pumpkinscantdancethetango · 30/10/2008 15:21

yanbu

i hate balloons, held a small child who was unconcious after going in to RAS when a balloon burst, scariest moment of my life

Pamina · 30/10/2008 15:29

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

kerryk · 30/10/2008 15:33

yanbu

my dd1 has allergies so i have to ring parents before hand and let them know what they cant have around her.

same thing really, its something that cant be helped.

jesuswhatnext · 30/10/2008 15:37

YANBU - i seriously cannot imagine anyone objecting to your request - surely most peoples hearts would melt - she must be able to go to partys

GColdtimer · 30/10/2008 15:43

Obviously agree with everyone else. Let us know what she says Thomcat, I can't imagine she would be anything but reasonble.

Blu · 30/10/2008 15:49

TC, you lovely thing, loads of people are phobic about balloons. A child in our long-lasting NCT tea group was - we just made sure we didn't have them. Of course some people haven't come across ballooon phobia, or seem eye-rolly about any mention of phobia - we have to hope that L's friends mummies are not like that.

Yes, ring and say she would LOVE to come to the party, but the only difficulty you have is that sh won't stay at a party where balloons are present, and does the Mum know if there will be balloons? Don't make it sound as if balloons are sometimes ok, iyswim.

Original poster
Thomcat · 30/10/2008 15:50

I'VE DONE IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thank you

I said we'd love to come and thanks so much for the invite, DD1 loves Pizza and what a great idea, etc.

I then said 'I just want to mention this now, while we're chatting. Lottie has a massive phobia about balloons and if we get there and there are balloons then we'll have to make a speedy exit. I'd rather just mention it to you now than have you wonder where on earth we disappeared to as I might not get the chance to explain before she legs it!!

She said 'oh don't worry, I think they just give them out as the children leave'.

So I said that sounded fine and plese don't think I was saying to not have balloons, just that her fear is so great and I am totally unable to reason with hr or calm her and I'd rather say now then run away on the day and you not know why'.

She was fine.

Job done.
Thank you

OP posts: