to be a bit irked about disabled badge holders using mum and baby spaces

[mousemole]

I am not sure why I am irked because clearly having a disabled badge means you have a need to park near a supermarket. But when all the mum and child spaces are gone, and I am struggligng with baby and toddler, and see a man with a blue badge RUN from his car in the pouring rain to Sainsburys whilst I can't get a space I have to admit to feeling P*ssed off. Oh and I also dont understand why totally able bodied senior citizens feel they have the right to park in them either.
Rant over.

I can imagine cali!

I have to go to bed. OUr DLA renewal is due soon as well Howling. A friend did it online and the DWP or whoeveer it is that deals with it LOST the application, then denied it. I was going to to do it online but will stick to pen and paper on her advice!

jjhltj, have just looked ar howling's link and the parent's met all the criteria as they lived in scotland. I will check the next time I'm back at work though.

totally

FWIW - I have a disabled parking badge for dd1 BUT i also have a toddler and pram - so qualify both ways. People look at my sprinting dd1 and wonder why the hell she has a badge - have even had it said to me - why do I have a badge dd1 can walk.

SURE dd1 can walk - sprint even - right into the path of an oncoming car. She has an intellectual impairment and does suffer fatigue as well as no road awareness whatso ever.

I had all this fuss when dd1 started school and people would park in the disabled spaces - they figured dd1 could walk and so could not see why she had a badge UNTIL the day she was nearly run over by a parent due to her total lack of road awareness.

I could not get a badge for dd1 until she was 3. I also have a red badge not a blue badge which entitles me to park in carpark disabled spaces BUT i do not get free parking nor do I get roadside disabled parking.

Its quite annoying when people say "Oh but he can walk X amount of yards" My DH had his blue badge taken of him because he can walk quite far and he does enjoy walking. But he has muscular dystrophy and some days he can go out and do a long walk and some days he can hardly walk very far at all.

He really struggles with getting in and out of cars so if we don't manage to get a child space we normally have to park quite far away from the shop so he can open the door as far as it will go so he can get in and out.

Before I had the DCs, I'd had 3 miscarriages and felt like I would never be able to have children. I was, obviously, completely miserable.

I couldn't understand why* mothers - who had been blessed with the most wonderful, joyful gift in the universe, which I craved - were being treated as if they were hard-done-by, needing extra help and support as if they were disabled.

I resolved never to park in Mother and Baby spaces, out of a sort of solidarity to all the other heartbroken hopeful mums out there, and I never have done, even with two toddlers in the pouring rain etc etc.

DH thinks I am barking.

*I know why incidentally, it's because parents spend so much more and the supermarkets need to keep them sweet. At our local Waitrose, until recently, the parent and baby spaces were nearer to the entrance than the disabled ones; presumably someone eventually enlightened them as to the difference.

The gentleman in the OP is welcome to my M&B space.

If there aren't any M&B spaces (and I do use them if they're there, but I don't get stressed if they're not!) then i park at the end of the car park (by the recycling bins! ) and walk to the supermarket. Easy.

Does anyone remember the poster who wouldn't leave her baby in the car alone even for a minute to go and get a trolley? Or to pay for petrol in case the petrol pump exploded?

I still roffle about that to this day!

What makes me angry about people using P&T spaces when they're not eligible is the lack of respect. It's not about the spaces themselves but the way people don't seem to give a rats ar$e about respecting "rules". Happens with lots of things now, not just M&T spaces.

(JimJams, we decided to use the M&B places as long as we are entitled and then readdress the blue badge issue then; we've got The Date for ds3's dx decision and can't see past that atm, having a six month old baby does give some leeway on this at least!)

M&B spaces are useful, that's the truth. A mum with one child in a Ford Ka has no real need; a mum of 3 wth maybe a toddler and a baby is helped out if she has access t one, especially if she drives a larger car. But you will cope without it if they don't exist!. Humans have porblems solving skills- thank goodness!. It might be a raincover for the babyseat, reins for a toddler, teaching older children to hold hands (if I can get my older 3 to do so anybody really can- we make a 'Peachy Train' lol). But a person with a disability is housebound without a space close to the door. My poor Nan refused to use her badge for years and would hobble around town maybe having he 'dignity' as she called it, but taking a whole day to get a few groceries due to extended sit dwons; once she gave in and used her badge (heart condition that killed her years ago) it became much easier and even enjoyable again.

I'm glad of M&B spaces; I don't uite get the calls to ban them as IME the battles on here don't seem to be going on at my local asd when i'm there, but maybe I'm not looking? If I see Mr X in his shag wagon with no kids aprked in a space I look, think 'twat'- and thats it. Much like when somene cuts me up pn the raod. Why we have to go from that to abolishing a system that does help people I have no idea.

'what if its the baby thats disabled? where would the parent park ,disabled bays or kiddy ones? what if the disabled person has young child with them? wonder??????'

What happens then is old people huff at you for parking in a disabled bay with your disabled child and Mothers huff at you for using M&B parking cos your 2 yo is in a wheelchair.
So everyone hates you.
Had one mum say 'but these spaces are for people with normal children.'

I have 2 blue badges. One for me cos I have MS although on good days I can cycle 10 miles. One for dd cos she has CP and doesn't have any good days.
When I had my older 3 - 3 under 3, P&T parking didn't exist in our town. You just got on with it and still managed the shopping.

Well they didnt when I had ds1 / 2 but neither did WTC and I than fuck for those too .

There's a simple solution here, one thats hard to emply but works: try not to judge when you dont know the facts and it will be hard to feel resentful . And if you must judge, pretend you dont.

*NMC^- surely somene with a disabled baby has the best of all worlds? A blue badge, M&B spaces "and" a whole lifetimes worth of DLA and first choice of school ahead? LOL You never know, they might even have a norm baby as well to keep the MIL quiet

I have a blue badge (for me) and two DSs under three. In supermarkets I generally park in the M&T spaces because they are nearer the double seat trollies. However. DS1 is now getting too big for the trolly and I am finding it very difficult to lift him in so then I'll probably park in the disabled bays and use a single seat trolly as they are generally stored nearer the store. This will save me walking too far unaided to get the trolly. I don't look disabled - whatever that looks like. On good days when I'm not tired, I don't have a limp, but have bad balance and a dodgy left leg which means I can fall easily.

I have had old people give me abuse for parking in disabled bays despite my blue badge just because I 'look young' (I'm 38!). I never go into town without the pushchair which I use as a walking frame (goodness knows what I'm going to do when DS2 grows out of it) or if I'm on my own, my stick.

I am very grateful for the badge because it means I can get into town and we can have a fairly normal existence.

Peachy . We're just so lucky. Doubt we'll have a norm baby though, even to please MIL. You do realise they come without DLA and a blue badge. And they move and talk.

Ah yes, I have at least one of that variety remember- ds2. And ds4 is showing worying signs , he'll have to leave work at 16 pay our bills if no dla!!!

thik we huld retain not as a halloween thing but as evil grin lol

as the daughter of a disabled man, I know how irritating it is for people to park in the disabled bays, My dad was unable to walk very far and when there were just Normal bays he would park in the parent and child ones as otherwise we were limited on the amount of space to get his wheelchair out of the car.

I have 2 children ds1 10yrs and ds2 1yr and guess what I don't park in the parent and child bays and why because I think it is ridiculous HAVING A CHILD IS A CHOICE HAVING A DISABILITY IS NOT FGS

SO yes YABU do you know if he has a disability other than physical? My son does he has reflex anoxic seizures which are classed as a disability causing him to faint but you can't see it.

The problm here of oucrse isnt spaces or anything like that- its the twats who do misuse te badges who then sow the seeds of doubts

so gggrrrrrrrrrrr ro them

I wonder what mums did BEFORE there were p&t bays???? Didn't anyone go shopping then??????

You're right Peachy it's the abuse which gets me too.

tle, in fairness lots of people used local shops which have often now closed, and i'm first generation car owner here

Exactly Peachy - its the abuse that causes the seed of doubt. Theladyevenstart, I get your point, other people have made it, about disabilities you can't see. And yes, it is wrong to judge without knowing the facts byt Peachy hit the nail on the head really for me.

I am glad you have been educated mousehole

My daughter has a blue badge (she has m pd and m-sld) I get abuse off other blue badge holders (mainly elderly people) so I dont expect anything less off a stressed parent these days I hope threads like this do educate people about how difficult it is. Not only do we have the added difficulty taking a disabled child or dependant out but we also have the additional stress of people thinking children or young people do not qualify for blue badges and most people tut (everytime, I may add) or they add comments and abuse. I have started to be extremely cynical and on my guard everytime I park ina disabled space now. It happened last week. A mature couple were walking past the car and pointing and I said to my husband 'look at them moaning about the badge, blah blah' and he said 'look they were pointing to something in shop over the road'

if i didnt have to use a space, I wouldnt

at our sainsbo's the staff are allowed to park in the disabled spaces.

don't even start me on that one.

apparently it's because some of them finish when it's dark and it would be dangerous for them to walk to their cars...

presumably ok for the blue badge holders though.

i can't even calm down long enough to complain about it though. the woman i caught getting out of her car and strolling to the shop (in her sainsbo's uniform) who i said 'excuse me, you seem to have forgotten to put your disabled badge out' kindly explained this rule to me. and then walked off, leaving me pushing dd2's wheelchair with a kid hanging off either side, stunned.

filz - i marched onto a train and demanded that the man occupying the disabled parking space move so i could get dd2's chair in (it was v crowded). then i turned around and saw a completely empty wc space. oops. i did apologise, but some days i go overboard on the battleaxe thing... he didn't mind too much, in fact was mortified that he'd been caught in the disabled seat. who knew that people with a disability would actually want to go on a train?

Filz, I do really feel for you. I was back at Sainsburys yesterday and looked at the 8 disbaled spaces they have. 3 were occupied by blue badge holders, 3 were occupied by non blue badge holders, 1 by a licensed taxi cab and 1 with a car with a hand made sign in the window saying 'disabled'. I definitely have learned a lot from this post but I am so to hear about and witness yesterday the abuse of disabled spaces.
You are welcome to my m and t space any day