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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think that parents should keep their age 4+ dcs AWAY from the toddler section at soft play/park

163 replies

peacelily · 29/10/2008 12:25

Because of the rain yesterday I took dd(2) to local soft play even though I believe it's truly hell on Earth.

Just makes me that children who're obviously too old are diving in all over the little ones in the toddler section whilst parents are "having a break" reading a magazine in the cafe!!! It's dangerous and inconsiderate and scares the little ones.

Wake up and smell the coffee parents, whilst you are out with your dcs you have to supervise them closely ALL THE TIME, regardless of age.

Also annoys me at park too, 12 years old crawling all over little slide/swings.

Anyway rant over, bored this am

OP posts:
Original poster
peacelily · 29/10/2008 14:29

You're right pingping I should have posted in chat and just had a moan because I don't think I am being unreasonable.
Can't undertand posters who think I am TBH but it takes all sorts.

Sometimes I do post in AIBU out of sheer curiousity but this isn't one of those times.

Just moaning!

OP posts:
pingping · 29/10/2008 14:29

Not every parent is perfect some may have more than one child to watch OP doesnt know what that childs parent was doing at the time that the older child was in there.

I just don't understand why someone would live a softplay area because of another child I would simply deal with it either by speaking to the child if that failed I would find the childs mother.

Gateau you should not be in the softplay area thats for under 4 you may squash a toddler.

mumnosbest · 29/10/2008 14:30

wow this threads moving fast, hard to keep up!

expatinscotland · 29/10/2008 14:31

another reason i never take them to soft play.

every one i've been in is like thug kid central.

SmugColditz · 29/10/2008 14:32

I know a 21 month old baby who comes up to my bellybutton. He has size 8 feet and is nearly as tall as his 5 year old brother (they have the same size feet). he could have been your 4+ year old. Children cannot help being tall.

Avoid soft play in the school holidays, then you don't have to deal with school children. I guarantee that they will all seem a lot smaller when your own are school children.

PS, 12 is a child.

pingping · 29/10/2008 14:32

someone would leave I meant to put.

Peacelily I understand where you are coming from but slagging off other mothers that makes you unreasonable. Espeically since you are not sure what the other mother was doing at the time.

Gateau · 29/10/2008 14:33

Great advice pingping - I'll let my toddler get squashed instead, eh??!
Don't talk bollocks, pingping.

jimjamshaslefttheyurt · 29/10/2008 14:34

Now I've just been sent photos of ds1 at soft play with school, and it appears to be completely empty..... I'm guessing they had a special visit. In that case it looks like lots of fun (and I was pleased to see that school couldn't get him to use a sack on the sack slide either- ds2 and ds3 were horrified at this breach of rules ).

So the moral. Only go to soft play if you can guarantee it will be empty.

Original poster
peacelily · 29/10/2008 14:34

I don't think it is a "tiny very irritating thing" though I'm afraid.

Like I said before nasty injuries can happen and and that is why the RULE not the guideline is that bigger kids don't play in the toddler bit.

I had to physically shield dd from the gril yesterday before removing her (after politely informing the gril about the rules and asking her not to fling balls near the babies).

Did not mean for people to take this so personally!! Am off sick , bored, so just trying to distract myself!

OP posts:
pingping · 29/10/2008 14:34

SC My niece is the same she is 7 and comes upto my shoulders she has always been tall when she was two she looked about 5.

myredcardigan · 29/10/2008 14:34

Look, I agree with the OP. But I have three which is why I avoid these places. I should avoid these thread too but I'm waiting for DS to finish watching his DVD so we can make fairy cakes before either the younger ones wake up.

ilovetochat · 29/10/2008 14:35

peacelily - yanbu!
my dd is 15 months so i go in with her, and she is my pfb and i must admit i don't take her in the hols as it's too busy, but when i do go i can't stand the parents who let their older children in the toddler bit. At ours the area is massive and then there is a square corner for the under threes and the older ones comes charging through while the parents pretend they can't see them. I do ask them to be careful in the toddler bit but they ignore me.
i took her to a farm with a playbarn last month and there was a bouncy castle for under 3s and one for over 3s but all the toddlers and babies had to be removed as thoughtless parents sat and let their much older kids bounce on the baby one and ruined it for everyone.
Some people think that whe it's schoolhols we should stay home but the 6 weeks hol would be very lonely with nowhere to go.

jimjamshaslefttheyurt · 29/10/2008 14:36

Well you're there watching your child so you can keep them safe.'Physcially shielding' is rather overstating - just walk away. A plastic ball isn't going to hurt a child anyway - they're there to be thrown.

Your child can't go on the equipment meant for them until the big kids move. Really that is tiny irritating. If it's anything else, then I am jealous.

hattyyellow · 29/10/2008 14:37

Completely agree. No reason why older children should be in the sectioned off soft play bit for little ones - and parents should be keeping half an eye on older kids.

SmugColditz · 29/10/2008 14:37

Oh, and ds1 was told "Get out, you're too big!" by a stupid bint sitting in the under 6 area with a 5 month old baby on the floor.

He was 4. People with very small children sometimes don't have a very good grasp of the size and capabilities of older children.

jimjamshaslefttheyurt · 29/10/2008 14:38

"People with very small children sometimes don't have a very good grasp of the size and capabilities of older children."

Agree.

Cheesesarnie · 29/10/2008 14:39

nope perfectly innocent question actually(so please dont hmm at me).i was asking because when you have more than one you obviously need eyes in the back of your head at places like that.and id love to be a parent that sat drinking coffee and reading magazines while in those places but i dont get a chance.(but i will admit i think you are being a tad pfb-only a tad mind).

so imo-yanbu that parents should try to keep their older children out.but yabu(maybe not unreasonable but certainly ott) to be so over the top about it.

btw soft play areas are my idea of hell.

SmugColditz · 29/10/2008 14:40

If you feel you have to physically shield your child (and may I inappropriately add that you must have looked like a right overbearing nightmare whilst doing so) it is time to leave. As you say, people should take responsibility for their own children and this includes you.

trust me, I used to BE the shrieky "Be careful of him he's only tiny!" parent. And now I have two, and I know how tough babies actually are, and toddlers even more so.

Gateau · 29/10/2008 14:42

Cheesesarnie, the Op's not being OTT about it. She's just being forced to state her opinion over and over again for those people who are arguing against it.

Original poster
peacelily · 29/10/2008 14:42

How do you "walk away" in a knee deep ball pool with dd firmly ensconced in it in a confined space! Physical impossibility especially when an older girl has just hurled herself in and is in the way of the exit!

We quite literally had to extricate ourselves as dd and the other toddlers were getting scared.

Not "slagging other Mums off", but yes maybe I am criticising their lack of supervision, you can't keep an eye on them all the time but at least check in regularly.

OP posts:
Cheesesarnie · 29/10/2008 14:44

i ment in her first post.before she went on and on about it.that was ott imo.

Gateau · 29/10/2008 14:46

I wish you wouldn't call yourself that. It makes me wnat a bloody cheese sarnie - ALL the time; even when I've had my lunch.

Cheesesarnie · 29/10/2008 14:46

-hungry?

jimjamshaslefttheyurt · 29/10/2008 14:46

Oh for goodness sake peaclily you pick your child up and walk through the ball pool if a child is being that rough. It's really not that difficult. Honestly - it can be easy - if irritating.

I think you get more relaxed about the size of other children as well as you have bigger ones. When ds1 was little I was terrified of any child over the age of 2. When ds3 was little (he;s only 3 now) I frequently had to extract him from the bottom of a pile of big brothers (where he had placed himself- still do actually) and all 3 of them used to leap about in a big ball pool we had (a birthing pool filled with balls so it was quite deep). Subsequent children are often viewed as more robust than first children (certainly was in my case and from talking to friends). No they don't want to be jumped on by an older child but if you're sat with them in the ball pool then the chances of that happening are somewhere around zero. Just pick them up and walk off.

Liffey · 29/10/2008 14:47

Well my children aged 3 and 5 like to play together so I'm not going to insist that the five year old plays somewhere else.

YOUR children will be the bigger ones soon enough and you'll want to sit down and have ten minutes peace with a cup of tea, and not hover over your child to make sure somebody else's child is OK (even though your child has never hurt another smaller child at a soft play area before to your knowledge)...

The next two years will pass in a flash and then there'll be pristine mummies with their new flash prams (models so cutting edge not invented yet) looking at YOUR pfb thinking, eughghgh, rough monster, potential hazard.

HOW VERY DARE THEY.