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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think that parents should keep their age 4+ dcs AWAY from the toddler section at soft play/park

163 replies

peacelily · 29/10/2008 12:25

Because of the rain yesterday I took dd(2) to local soft play even though I believe it's truly hell on Earth.

Just makes me that children who're obviously too old are diving in all over the little ones in the toddler section whilst parents are "having a break" reading a magazine in the cafe!!! It's dangerous and inconsiderate and scares the little ones.

Wake up and smell the coffee parents, whilst you are out with your dcs you have to supervise them closely ALL THE TIME, regardless of age.

Also annoys me at park too, 12 years old crawling all over little slide/swings.

Anyway rant over, bored this am

OP posts:
madness · 29/10/2008 13:45

I loce soft plays, because I can have a cappuchino and read a novel...My 3 dc sometimes do like to play with each other as well, so well cross over the age-limits.

OK. if it has been very busy in the toddler section I have usually told ds not to play there or to be very gentle.

KatieDD · 29/10/2008 13:46

YANBU I agree with you completely, I used to let my older children go in with their younger sister but only because i knew they would be looking after and playing with their sibling and any other baby they came across not diving on it.

pingping · 29/10/2008 13:48

Surely your talking about older children being left to play unsupervised whilst there mothers are sitting drinking coffees and chatting I would expect that any child from the ages 6 up would be fine to play unsupervised in a soft play area. If they are in the toddler area and boistious then go see a member of staff and deal let them deal with it.

God forbid a mother take her older children to soft play and not watch there every move.

YABU!

ruddynoraaaaaaggggggghhhhh · 29/10/2008 13:53

oh no gateau are ou one of those parents who clamber about on the equipment getting in the kids' way? sheesh. that's even worse than rampaging 9 year olds.

dd tells me to go away if i venture forward to see how she is. she makes a friend and off she goes. these places i go to are not so big that i wouldn't see if there was a problem.

myredcardigan · 29/10/2008 13:53

But pingping, a 6yr's play is almost always too rough for an 18mth old in that type of environment. My 6yr old is very careful with his younger sisters but still to big and boistorous to play in a toddler area.

Just tell them to play in the area designed for their age.

Original poster
peacelily · 29/10/2008 13:54

"go and see a member of staff and let them deal with it" !!!!

I would expect the member of staff to prompt their parent and tell THEM to deal with it!

Your child, your responsibility, as the signs plastered up everywhere tell you.

OP posts:
Wispabarsareback · 29/10/2008 13:54

YANBU at all. I've posted before about big kids on baby-swings at the park - fine if there are no littlies around, but v unfair if babies and toddlers can't have fun at the park because the big kids (who could go on anything) are monopolising the baby-swings.

I think it's outrageous for people to suggest that you should stay away from activities designed for toddlers during the school holidays. Parents should be keeping an eye on what their kids are up to - yes of course you can ask big kids to get out of the toddler play-area, but really, why should you have to? Makes the whole experience much more fraught and stressful than it needs to be. (But if it's softplay there's always an element of fraught stressfulness IMHO!)

Original poster
peacelily · 29/10/2008 13:58

dd loves me going on the stuff with her, I'm sure she'll grow out of it in which case I won't do that.

Have an issue with big kids at the play area in the park too, go to the fantastic adventure play ground at the other local park thats for 5+ (which also has a toddler section for those of you with kids in both age groups before you pounce)

OP posts:
jimjamshaslefttheyurt · 29/10/2008 14:01

The thing is if (as we've agreed is reasonable) that you're not watching every move of your 8 year old then you won't know that they are in the toddler area. Unless your child has a particular thing about being in the toddler area (in which case you would supervise) then you're not necessarily going to know straight away. I would be stunned to find ds2 in the toddler area as he's not remotely interested in anything baby.

If I saw him I would of course tell him off. If I didn't (if I happened to be shock drinking coffee, or taking my 3 year old to the toilet or even supervising my 9 year old then I would hope that someone else would just tell him to clear off. Far easier and less hassle all round.

pingping · 29/10/2008 14:06

myredcardigan I am not saying its ok for big kids to be in the toddler area I just think that the comments about Mothers that don't sit up there kids arses are unreasonable.

If OP had a problem she should be an adult either speak to the kids or go and get someone that works there to deal with it.

mumnosbest · 29/10/2008 14:08

my ds nearly 4yrs plays nicely in the soft play and takes care of 1yr dd. I'd never dream of taking my eyes off either. I agree about big kids when they're being rough or not watched but just want to point out that little ones can be naughty too! We were at soft play yesterday and boy no more than 2 wouldn't leave my ds alone, kept following him, pushing and calling him a 'naughty boy'. Mum did nothing as her phonecall must have been very important Eventually my ds did retalliate (pushed back) and mum swooped in grabbed son and moaned indirectly about there being some rough big kids in there!

Sorry its a bit long but my point is age isn't the issue here but behaviour and supervision. I'd rather my LO's were playing with 5 gentle 7 year olds than 1 unsupervised and boisterous 2 year old. I too wouldn't think twice about telling a child (nicely), whatever their age, to be nicer/gentler to my 2.

Original poster
peacelily · 29/10/2008 14:11

there are some purposefuuly incendiary comments being posted I think in an attempt to make me argue and justify my position.

Aint going to happen.

If there are signs up saying "this area is for under 4s only" then parents with older children should respect that and aks their children to do the same.

OP posts:
pingping · 29/10/2008 14:14

Peacelily what most of us is saying is why not just say nicely to the kids they are being too rough and could they go in the big play area I don't see what the problem is.

I see toddlers in the big play area many times so whats the difference.

Also you asked Am I being unreasonable and people are just posting there views since you asked don't get the arse when people disagree with you.

Original poster
peacelily · 29/10/2008 14:16

Agree totally mumnosbest, it's about supervision.

My friend ds was attacked by a fellow 2 year old last time we went and we had to physically remove her from him as she had handfuls of his hair and was pinning him down.

Mum nowhere to be found, eventually came over after having been on the phone too! don't really think you should be put in the position where you have to lay your hands on someone elses child.

OP posts:
Cheesesarnie · 29/10/2008 14:17

is this your first child?

Original poster
peacelily · 29/10/2008 14:18

I think earlier on in the thread I stated I'd asked the giel to leave the ball pool and the staff had also put out a couple of tannoys to no avail.

what then to do in this situation? Myself and the other 2 mums had to take dcs out of the ball pool because of the obnoxious behaviour of this girl.

OP posts:
bozza · 29/10/2008 14:19

Agree with all of jimjams posts.

myredcardigan · 29/10/2008 14:20

Ah but having two younger ones means I always sit close to the toddler area.

TBH, DS has no interest in playing in there as the bit for bigger kids is far higher and more exciting. But you always get a few in there, usually because there is no ball pit for the older ones and they go in there to chuck balls at each other.

Gateau · 29/10/2008 14:22

ruddynorrrragh, yes I do clamber about on the equipment with my son and love it. Tough if I get in other children's way - my child is 18 months old.
What else do you suggest? That I have a coffee and read War and Peace with my back to him?

Gateau · 29/10/2008 14:22

ruddynorrrragh, yes I do clamber about on the equipment with my son and love it. Tough if I get in other children's way - my child is 18 months old.
What else do you suggest? That I have a coffee and read War and Peace with my back to him?

myredcardigan · 29/10/2008 14:23

It's not up to PL to speak to those kids. Their mothers should have told them to stay out.
If DS went in once, I'd warn him. If he did it again, he'd have to come sit with me. My responsibility.

Original poster
peacelily · 29/10/2008 14:25

Is that question an implication I'm being a bit PFB about the whole thing cheesesarnie?

Strange tack to take but there you go, I like to think no matter how many kids I have I wouldn't want them to get crushed an injured by an older child in a ball pool who wasn't supposed to be there!

OP posts:
Gateau · 29/10/2008 14:26

And pingping, it's not about sitting up your kids' arses, as you so eloquently put it. It's about parents getting up off their own lazy arses and taking responsibility for their child/children. Simple really.

mumnosbest · 29/10/2008 14:27

corse you shouldn't peacelily but then your child shouldn't be attacked either so what else can you do? if (and it has been known) my ds hurt another child I'd b mortified, make him apologise and remove him for a while. I certainly would't be offended if another parent spoke to him or even physically take him 'off' their child (but I'd be in there first, not on my phone! )

jimjamshaslefttheyurt · 29/10/2008 14:29

Well you can tell a child to stay out and they don't always obey. Even well behaved ones. I expect ds2 to behave, because generally he is very well behaved (not claiming any credit, he's just very conventional and very well behaved- he was born that way), but if he had a moment of madness and went into the under 5's I wouldn't unless I actually saw him. So he could be in there with parents muttering that 'if he was mine I would tell him not to' when- yep - so would I. But I would have to see him to tell him not to.

It's not worth getting stressed about. It's a tiny vaguely irritating thing. We've all been there. Big kid being too boisterous on the tiny play equipment, tiny kid sat preciously with cooing parent glaring at the big kids on the big equipment. It's vaguely annoying. Tell the irritating big kids to leave, glare at the over precious parent and then head home and have a large glass of wine. And be very very thankful that you don't have to follow your 9 year old around the equipment. It is hell. Believe me.