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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think that parents should keep their age 4+ dcs AWAY from the toddler section at soft play/park

163 replies

peacelily · 29/10/2008 12:25

Because of the rain yesterday I took dd(2) to local soft play even though I believe it's truly hell on Earth.

Just makes me that children who're obviously too old are diving in all over the little ones in the toddler section whilst parents are "having a break" reading a magazine in the cafe!!! It's dangerous and inconsiderate and scares the little ones.

Wake up and smell the coffee parents, whilst you are out with your dcs you have to supervise them closely ALL THE TIME, regardless of age.

Also annoys me at park too, 12 years old crawling all over little slide/swings.

Anyway rant over, bored this am

OP posts:
myredcardigan · 29/10/2008 12:53

I agree. I don't let my 6yr old into the under 5s bit. Not just because he is 6 but because he is strong but too young to realise he is strong IYKWIM. He could, and would easily flatten an 18mth old.

It amazes me that there are always 7/8/9yr olds jumping around in these places whilst their parents sit and drink coffee.

It's just lack of consideration but then some people don't give a shit which is why I avoid these places as much as possible.

Joolyjoolyjoo · 29/10/2008 12:55

Still don't understand why people don't nicely ask the bigger children to behave, or speak to the staff and get them to do it, rather than fuming/ leaving??

myredcardigan · 29/10/2008 12:56

FJ, if you have kids of very different ages then perhaps it is unsuitable for you to go there as a family rather than parents of toddlers using a toddler facility.

I'm also amazed (or maybe not) that so many people think it's ok to do this and think the answer is for parents of toddlers to stay away.

jimjamshaslefttheyurt · 29/10/2008 12:58

"FJ, if you have kids of very different ages then perhaps it is unsuitable for you to go there as a family rather than parents of toddlers using a toddler facility"

You can't be serious? A mother shouldn't go to one place with a 3 year old and a toddler. Are you absolutely insane?

Original poster
peacelily · 29/10/2008 12:58

I usually avoid like the plague too myredcardigan but because it's half term the music group we usually go to was off and it was just too cold and wet to go to the park and after doing a quick mental going over of places to take her that WOULDN'T be too crowded in half term this was the best option, she wanted to go out and I wanted her to have fun, what's wrong with that?

OP posts:
Original poster
peacelily · 29/10/2008 12:58

I usually avoid like the plague too myredcardigan but because it's half term the music group we usually go to was off and it was just too cold and wet to go to the park and after doing a quick mental going over of places to take her that WOULDN'T be too crowded in half term this was the best option, she wanted to go out and I wanted her to have fun, what's wrong with that?

OP posts:
myredcardigan · 29/10/2008 12:58

It is not up to the parents of the toddlers to tell the older kids to behave. It is the responsibility of their parents to tell them that they are not allowedto play in that particular area, and to explain why. My 6yr old understands perfectly.

Gateau · 29/10/2008 12:59

Who's fuming OR leaving, joolyjooly??!
Not me anyway. The OP asked for an opinion and I gave her mine. Of course I would ask an older child to -not behave, but leave the area. But really that's their parent or carer's job.

Original poster
peacelily · 29/10/2008 13:01

I did ask a couple of older girls nicely not to do what they were doing to no avail, and I hate doing that, just got a rude stare back, staff asked too.

taking them to soft play isn't a "break" get your head out of your magazine and check on them from time to time!!

OP posts:
myredcardigan · 29/10/2008 13:02

Jimjams, ??
I was answering FJ's comment about different ages rather than talking about the different ages of her children.
I wouldn't say a 3yr old and a younger toddler are different ages at all when it comes to this sort of thing. I'm talking about people taking their 8yr old and their 2yr old. Both FJ's kids could happily play in the LOs area.

sitdownpleasegeorge · 29/10/2008 13:02

I have challenged clearly older kids before and those who ignore height restrictions intended to keep younger children safe in their own designated area.

I simply said to 2 boys on a very small bouncy castle "come on now, this is for small kids, you are both well over the 1 metre measure on that board (by the bouncy castle stating no children taller than this line to play on ths bouncy castle.)and shouldn't be on here because it's not safe for littlies if there are big kids bouncing up and down too"

They got off immediately although they did smirk at each other but I didn't care and no other parent disagreed with me.

I could give other instances at softplay areas and swimming pools play, parks etc where I have gently imposed sensible guidelines (where other parents clearly can't be bothered) purely in the interest of safety for all.

"It takes a village to raise a child" isn't that how the saying goes ? I take it to mean that the sensible parents need to step in where the slack ones don't monitor what their kids are up to .

wasabipeanut · 29/10/2008 13:03

Peacelily YANBU. I tool ds (14mo) to a soft play centre yesterday and although I knew it would be busy as half term I didn't see why I should deny my very active little boy an activity he really enjoys just because of that.

The area that seems to have this issue at mine is the ball pool - the older kids absolutely hurl themselves around in there despite the fact they have their own ball pool and ds woiuld get flattened if I let him in there on his own.

It does piss me off when I look round for a parent watching them from a distance and all I see are people chattingm supping lattes and, in one case, reading a Boden catalogue.

barnsleybelle · 29/10/2008 13:04

I agree with the op. Why should little ones only be allowed to go during term time?
I have ds 6 and dd 13months. If we go in school hols ( which is rare ) then they play in seperate areas. Ds does like to play occasionally with dd in little area but only gently.
I do always just tell the other older ones to go play on the bigger area if they are getting boisterous and so far ive had no complaints.
I do think the staff should actually come over and tell them to get out if they are jumping around as not all mums are confident enough to step in themselves.

FAQ · 29/10/2008 13:04

"after doing a quick mental going over of places to take her that WOULDN'T be too crowded in half term"

huh - now brain would say (without a doubt) places to avoid at half term because of overcrowding.

  1. Soft play of any description (especially at colder times of the year)
Gateau · 29/10/2008 13:05

Am not sure why some Mums just want to sit on their arses and read or chat the whole time while they childen are playing anyway..
Don't they want to have fun with them at all?

jimjamshaslefttheyurt · 29/10/2008 13:06

FJ was explaining that they can't 'officially' at hers.

And why shouldn't someone take an 8 year old and 2 year old? Do they have to do everything separately? A soft play is for young children. You would supervise the 2 year old (so be sat in the toddler bit) and leave the 8 year old to get on with it. No 8 year old is going to be followed around by their parents surely?

Being able to do something as a family is incredibly important (I say this as someone who can't do things as a family without very great difficulty- it's something we miss). Why on earth should a family not go out together to a soft play area. Just tell the 8 year old to behave, tell them off if they don't, and if you don't see them misbehaving hope that someone else will.

FAQ · 29/10/2008 13:06

Gateau - my children like to go off and play alone - at the park, or soft play they just don't play if I'm there (or tell me to go away/push me away}

Original poster
peacelily · 29/10/2008 13:07

maybe we were at the same one wasabipeanut!

I was in the ball pool with dd as get v nervous about them 9have seen a child break their ankle in one due to aforementioned hurling about activity).

They have these little air jets that the toddlers can balance balls on, dd loves htis as did the 2 other littlies that were in there with her.

This (at least 8) girl threw herself on them and started smacking the balls off everytime they managed to balance them, just made me , I could see a couple of the other parents felt the same too.

OP posts:
jimjamshaslefttheyurt · 29/10/2008 13:08

It happens the other way around anyway. 2 year olds sat in the ball pool at the bottom of slides in the big play area - parents looking suprised as older kids practically land on the toddler. (why do people do this?) At least if its an unattended older child you can tell them to behave. If it's a parent whose placed their child in a stupid place you're stuck.

wasabipeanut · 29/10/2008 13:08

Gateau I do see your point and based on my current experience of having one child I would agree - I love climbing around stuff with ds, particularly slides!

However I can also imagine how nice it must be to have a break for 5 minutes if you have more than one.

Gateau · 29/10/2008 13:09

Fair enough, FAQ.
But I've seen some kids DRAG their lazy arsed Mums up for a bit of a play. I know it's good for kids to learn how to play on their own, but at least some interaction is a good thing.

elkiedee · 29/10/2008 13:10

jimjam, I've seen a little one in the big kids' play area, but the problem was the same - lazy dad who seemed to think he didn't even need to watch out for little one.

Gateau · 29/10/2008 13:11

Of course wasabi. I just mean at least a BIT of interaction is interactive and fun.

Bucharest · 29/10/2008 13:12

Irrelevant how old the child is. In a softplay the parents of all the children should be keeping a bloody eye on them.

My daughter isn't a toddler (nor is she 10) and I am well aware when we go to these (hideous) places, that now, even inadvertantly, she might hurt another child during jumping/boisterous play. So I keep an eye on her.

It's not rocket science, is it?

FAQ · 29/10/2008 13:13

Gateau - what's to say that they haven't had interaction all morning before going?? Just because a mum (or dad) doesn't "get in there" and play when at the soft play doesn't mean there's no interaction.