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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to refuse to lock my puppy outside?

67 replies

memoo · 28/10/2008 19:43

My friends DD (age6) is terrified of dogs.

We have a 5 month old puppy, and little girl is frightened of her too. Usually when they come round I put the puppy out in the garden.

On friday we are having a small Halloween party for the kids but it will not be possible to put the puppy in the garden for a few hours because there are fireworks going off constantly and puppy is terrified, becomes a quivering wreck when she hears them. We have a very small house, just lounge and kitchen downstairs so there isn't even another room I cna put puppy in

Have explained this to my friend but she think that I should lock the dog out anyway.

I feel bad because I know her DD is scared of dogs but there is no way the puppy is going to do anything to hurt her.

Friend is now saying she won't be coming to party if Puppy is in the house.

Don't know what to do???

OP posts:
FAQ · 28/10/2008 19:45

can't you put the puppy upstairs in one of the bedrooms for the evening?

MatNanPlus · 28/10/2008 19:45

Can you crate the puppy indoors or have her on a leash?

compo · 28/10/2008 19:45

yanbu
you have done all you could
she shouldn't come to the party
the puppy is your responsibility , you are not responsible for her dd
I'm quite [hshocked] she had the audacity to tell you what to do in your house tbh, is she a very good friend

Rubyrubyruby · 28/10/2008 19:45

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MarmadukeScarletbloodstains · 28/10/2008 19:46

Tell her your are sorry that she won't be coming.

It is not a 12 stone Rottie, she is BU.

spookycharlotte121 · 28/10/2008 19:46

could the puppy go up stairs in a bedroom or to one of the neighbours for the evening?

Saturn74 · 28/10/2008 19:46

You can't really do anything other than have the puppy inside as it is scared of fireworks.

It's up to your friend to decide whether to attend the party or not. I think she is being unfair to make you feel bad because you won't do as she wants.

It's emotional blackmail really.

Original poster
memoo · 28/10/2008 19:46

She still wees everywhere, and chews everything! she would wreck the bedroom. Stayed at mums this weekend and she wee'd on bed!

OP posts:
Tee2072 · 28/10/2008 19:46

As much as I feel for your friend's DD, its your house and your puppy. If you don't want to put the puppy outside, don't. Tell your friend your sorry you won't see her on hallowe'en.

Ronaldinhio · 28/10/2008 19:47

tell her your reasons for not putting the dog out and tell her you hope that she will understand your decision

accept that you can't please all of the people all of the time

there will be other parties

dilemma456 · 28/10/2008 19:47

Message withdrawn

Original poster
memoo · 28/10/2008 19:47

matnan, never thought of a crate, thats a good idea! have never used one before but sw them in petshop the other day

OP posts:
compo · 28/10/2008 19:47

It's fair enough to try and accomodate her if she had been reasonable but she's been completely out of order getting the hump with her.
Why don't you suggest she host the party

flowerybeanbag · 28/10/2008 19:48

Agree with everyone else. YANBU.

Original poster
memoo · 28/10/2008 19:48

Her DD just isn't use to animals. As far as I know she hasn't had a bad experience or anything. She get hysterical if they're out and she sees a dog coming towards her

OP posts:
Original poster
memoo · 28/10/2008 19:49

compo, i might just do that

OP posts:
mynameisluka · 28/10/2008 19:52

With a 5 month old puppy around surely it's the perfect opportunity for your friend to introduce her dd to dogs. I think it's important for children to learn how to behave around dogs and to learn how to understand and interpret their behaviour. Maybe you could put the puppy in a bedroom for the evening but also sugget some short and sweet meetings in the future for her dd to become aquainted with your puppy.
Although also, fears are very real and shouldn't be ignored.
Hope it works out well.

chloemegjess · 28/10/2008 19:52

I think it would be awful to put a puppy outside with fireworks. She shouldn't expect you to do that.

noonki · 28/10/2008 19:54

YANBU - I always lock my dog away when kids come round, mainly because the kids treat her a bit mean (all toddlers) and doesnt feel safe with loads of kids, no matter how friendly my dog is.

But fireworks are terrible, my poor dog is a quivering wreck this time of year (BAN THEM I SHOUT every year). at Halloween there will be loads so you cant leave her on her own.

mynameisluka · 28/10/2008 19:54

Yes and dog crates are great if you have the space

Olihan · 28/10/2008 19:55

memoo, we have a crate for our 12 week old and it's great. It's her sanctuary away from the dcs and because it's also her bed, she won;t wee in it so we have no accidents in the night or if we go out for a while. I'd really recommend one. The only downside is that they take up quite a lot of room if she's going to grow into a big dog and need a bigger crate.

WRT your friend, I'd have to tell her that you can't leave the puppy outside so it's up to her whether or not she brings her dd.

Troutpout · 28/10/2008 19:56

you don't need to do anything
It's her call
my dd doesn't like dogs either...i just wouldn't go if i thought she couldn't handle it or if the dog couldn't be put anywhere/ put on a lead if she freaked out
I'm sure she is just as worried that she has offended you.
Tell her that you hope her dd can come another time

MadamePlatypus · 28/10/2008 19:59

Don't lock the puppy outside - that would be really cruel.

If the friend doesn't want to come to the party, that is her call. Its a bit odd to encourage a child to be frightened of puppies, but I suppose thats her problem. I certainly wouldn't listen to her pet care advice.

Lukesmammy · 28/10/2008 20:16

Definitely don't lock the dog outside. It is a shame that the little girl may miss the party but that isn't not your fault iykwim.

I think it would be a great opportunity for the little girl to come, meet the dog and then maybe leave if she gets upset. Thing is though, if she can see lots of other children being perfectly comfortable around the dog, this may encourage her to try and overcome her fear.

Lukesmammy · 28/10/2008 20:16

I mean isn't your fault!