to think having concern for people who are asking for help and wanting them to have access to good advice isn't something to be sneered at?

[hunkermunker]

huh?

? elaborate...

What's going on hunker? Is it something on here? (quite probably it seems )

Oh, all the "who gives a fuck when you wean your children/whether you bf or not, people who care are smug fuckers who just want you to do everything they do and make people who don't do as they say feel bad, the nosey bastards. Why can't they just get lives?" stuff.

Think i sort of see where you're coming from. FGS MN's bloody miserable at the moment. May have to go and spend money I don't have on ebay if this keeps up

YANBU.

Thanks to the internet i managed to succesfully bf a very poorly baby who was in NICU and didn't wean until 6 months because of info i accessed via sites like this.

Giving information to people is a good thing. How people use that information is up to them.

yanbu. I have been called a 'bitch', 'snide' and 'judgemental' and I've not even said anything that bad. I am judgemental though.

There is a difference in giving advice to people who have asked for it and dishing out advice to those who haven't

Absolutely give when asked but keep out when they haven't, simple, should be a rule somewhere

Yanbu hunker.
I don't like that attitude either.

YANBU

There are always people who want help. I am successfully and exclusively bf my second baby thanks to information given on this site, and continuing to feed my toddler too.

YANBU. Of course.

SOL, generally I keep that rule. On the occasions I don't, it's on threads that aren't "sensitive" iyswim - or occasionally I've posted on postnatal club threads - the ones where the babies are all 3 months old and the thread title is "Yay, woohoo, our babies are old enough for FOOD!" type things. I've posted along the lines of "If you don't want to wean early, don't feel pressured to - here's a link to a thread you might not have seen where people are holding off till 6 months". I've only done it a couple of times though.

After all, if people don't post the guidelines, etc, we might as well just be Bounty...

i guess their opinions are valid too

but yeah, i feel privileged to have had access to the sort of knowledge and info i have had through mn - i think thats something all new mothers could do with having access to.

shame mn seems to be a bit shit for that atm. maybe its grown too fast or something? ama relative newbie saying that too.

YANBU hunker
I hate the way MN is at the moment

Everyone's opinions are valid LadyLaGore, agreed, but there is a way to express them without being aggressive and sweary, I think

dont be disheartened hunker. for every voice that grumbles and gripes about the info you post, there are many others who read it and silently appreciate the info. imo anyway.

There is a lot of good advice on here, but a lot of sanctimoiuos holier than thou shite too.
Need to sort the good from the patronisning

Without MN I would not have been able to get through the 4 month growth spurt. I would either have introduced formula or weaned early because I was at the end of my tether. I was quite proud to be able to tell another BFing Mum about it the other day, just in case she has the same. It was lovely to be able to "pass it on".

YANBU.

just because we have been thro it does not mean we should not be kind enough to pass on advice, nicely, to others going thro differing stresses.

kindness takes nothing and can help someone. being a bitch also costs nothing, but it can really upset someone, and for what.....to make you feel better and more powerful. some posters must have very sad lives if their idea of entertainment is making someone who they have never met feel very small.

LLG (Nappies? ), thank you. I often can get an idea of how many people lurk on threads by the fact if I post a link to my blog I can see how many hits I get. Stacks, is the answer.

Marina, it's a lot more confrontational than it was - and it used to be fairly rough and tumble at the best of times!

yes tis i, the graduate of the School of Many Nappies

i agree with both of you, theres a lot of hostility and a lot less preamble to just jumping in for a ruck lately. have only been on for a half hour since returning froma week away and already im wondering where me old mate mn has gone... ho hum!

if this is related to an earlier thread and I suspect it is..........

Then really I think the point people were trying to make, was that most people are informed of the risks associated with early weaning, and then make an informed decision.

They still get flamed- so really once the information has been given and bravo for doing so- it is really up to the individual and nothing else you can do or say will change them.

I reslly do appreciate your efforts, but I suspected that people where a tad pissed off with you starting a thread aling the lines of "come back in 80 years time and tell me you where ok" (not exact I know)

And then you start yet another thread?

Your efforts would be much more rewarded should you stick with helping with those you ask- rather then chastising those who opt for a decision which goes against your beliefs.

Lilymolly, yes, it makes sense. But this isn't something that's only happened since I started that thread. And the people on the one about not giving a fuck who were saying things like I laid out in the OP wouldn't all have seen the other thread I started.

nothing wrong with wanting to be helpful.

But I do think that if you're an advocate of something that is particularly emotive, ie breastfeeding/weaning (and there are other very emotive issues re bringing up children ie smacking/controled crying/co sleeping/putting in own room and the list goes on), and your motives are to provide help and accurate information where possible, then it is important to recognize that not everyone has those motives and that there are some who wish to judge/preach, and to disassociate oneself from those.

It's a bit like religion in that sense IMO. There are people who believe strongly in their faith, and who wish to use that faith to do good, but by the same token there are people who use their faith to look down on others/to tell them how they will be going to hell if they don't repent etc. And for the most part, the former do not wish to be associated with the latter.

Similarly with these issues I think that the informative need to be as scathing of the judgemental as those receiving the bashings, thus reinforcing their position as informer rather than judge/jury.