to think having concern for people who are asking for help and wanting them to have access to good advice isn't something to be sneered at?

[hunkermunker]

Well I HEART HUNKER

The only thing I can say to you is that if you think you can keep helping some mothers then keep going and hold your head up high.
Sometimes you need to offer help when it is requested......

For example.......the BF brigade on here, sometimes piss me off just a tad because its their way or the high way (or at least thats how I see it) but I can bet you in about 22 weeks time I will be asking for their help when breastfeeding my newborn and tearing my hair out cos its so damn painful

You get what I am saying?
Chin up x

I think offering advice is different to starting obscure threads that seem set up to criticise and patronise and I'm sorry to say, sound incredibly self-satisfied. You seem hurt, so I'm not going to say much more but you have to admit you have started at least one thread recently that was not all about giving advice, but more about attacking other people's views ('not very bright' etc). That is rarely wise, surely? There are so many opportunities to give good advice and help. People ask for it all the time. That's where your advice will be welcomed.

YANBU

From what I see you always give well informed advice. I wish parenting and choices werent so emotional sometimes.

And I am not stalking you tonight lol

There was a thread recently along the lines of 'AIBU for refusing to feed my SIL's 3mo solids?'. I was one of the few who posted that OP was BU. I was quite amazed at the levels of aggression some of the YABU posters displayed, calling the OP hysterical, rude and ridiculous, telling her to get over herself. There seems to be a lot of hostility on here atm in general towards people who defend weaning as per current guidelines.

Wannabe, I think on MN what is in fact merely advice can very quickly be interpreted as smug self-satisfied judgery - possibly because we all feel defensive of our previous choices, but some of the hostility on here atm seems to go beyond that.

But all this stems from a thread that was absolutely NOT about giving advice. That was the problem.

i've also been called names and even threatened.

it's not a good time for MN, sadly.

so YANBU.

It doesn't all stem from that thread, Mabanana. This is something that happens All The Time on MN. That other thread was a symptom of it.

Is MN eating itself?

To be honest, what I'm really bloody sick of on MN is 4 or 5 threads appearing at the same time all about the same bloody topic. Boring.

I don't really agree. I have given advice on breastfeeding threads and all sorts. GIving advice is fun! And I've never noticed anything but gratitude on those threads.

yanbu but starting threads about threads perhaps is bu...?

all this talk of mn eating itself seems like madness.
Everyone has extreme views compared to everyone else especially on mn. That seems like the beauty of it......
That bright opinionated women will get on here and debate the hell out of things sometimes with drawn swords on one thread and as bosom buddies on the next simultaneously.

I'm sorry that poeple didn't agree with you or treated you agressively in your opinion but perhaps that is to be expected in the aibu thread and you should hang somewhere more productive

x

aggro?the anonymity means people can and do get het up say unsavoury stuff.best ignored if poss

there informality can lull one (esp if regular poster) into informal chat mode with defences down and thus any contrary views feel worse, more attacking

i suppose be careful what you reveal,as it is open to all.unfortunately somecannot maintain good behaviour and do,take all too seriously

don't get me wrong,i read some posts and think mince but i dont dwell or think about it after i log off

I'm not weeping here, don't worry.

I'm just a bit disappointed MN is so different now, is all.

And I started a thread about a thread because the thread that was started was about a thread I started in the first place.

[eats self]

i've frequently thought that two wrongs might indeed make a right so fair enough

I agree with Mabanana, I think. I don't recognise this aggressive, unpleasant MN that so many people are complaining about ATM. I often post on breastfeeing/extended bf-ing/co-sleeping threads and in general encounter nothing but pleasant responses, even when people disagree.

Hunker, I have a lot of respect for what you do, but I wonder whether you're aware that your posting style is sometimes confrontational? Maybe this is prompting some of the aggressive responses you refer to? (I'm not saying that to have a dig - I can be confrontational myself.)

not sure about it's all different now theory,MN is a collection of anonymous adults with PC

some views you likey
some views you dont

Hunker, I'm really grateful to you and Tiktok and other Bfing advocates. I wasn't on MN when Ds was tiny and I really didn't know how much it mattered. I started him on solids at 20 weeks and so much wish I hadn't. He seemed really hungry and I thought he was ready for them. Now I know he was just going through a spurt.

Thanks to you and Tiktok however he is still BF at 20 months. I don't care how many people in RL think that is weird (including my mum), fortunately DH is supportive and that is the only thing that matters.

When we have another child there is no way I will wean before 26 weeks.

I'm tending to agree with banane and wonk too.#

I suspect it's all some sort of fallout from the cod hounding, people feeling more got at than usual.

What was the cod hounding?

Of course YANBU, you and a few other MNer's are personally responsible for DD1 being EBF until she was 25 weeks (she nicked my toast, alright?!) (and me achieving my VBAC, but that's another thread)
But think of all the people lurking and paying attention, as I was one of them, you are only getting the arseholes who are out to spot what they see as slights on their character (or start a ruck...)

hunker you give good advise,
but your thread titile was bound to wind people up(it happens you know)
and people made personal attacts on that thread.
so.......
don't let it get you down
you helped me help my neighbour

Hunker, why not just ignore those who sneer.

As someone pointed out for those who sneer at good advice there are loads more (lurkers and posters alike) who will sit up and say "oh thats a good point" or "I didn't realise that".

Not sure why you started this thread (didn't see the other one referred to) but on an "open" internet forum it is inevitable that you will encounter idiots, ungrateful recipients of advice, and folks who are just out to start a ruck.

Please don't feel got at.