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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be very upset about my step sister joining this facebook 'group'

99 replies

mamakim · 23/10/2008 21:01

Just been on fb and on the newsfeed i saw my ss has joined a group entitled "for anyone who hates all packies"! Her dad married my mum a year ago and we're recently become friends. She's quiet different to me but seeing as we're now related i make an effort with her. Her dd is a similar age to my ds so we've been on playdates, out of lunch etc. Now i have seen this i feel utterly discusted. I want to have nothing to do with her. What should i do? Confront her about it? Ignore it and just be casual with her at family gettogethers? I'm really shocked. I didn't ever imagine such an attitude from her. I have never seen any signs of this. Oh and surely facebook should ban such 'groups'?

OP posts:
peenutt · 23/10/2008 22:06

why?

ravenAK · 23/10/2008 22:08

I imagine because it's attracting racist low life. Well, one lonely little one, anyway.

wingandprayer · 23/10/2008 22:08

because your attitude is at best questionable and at worst bigoted. Mumsnet can decide. Bye then.

peenutt · 23/10/2008 22:09

because i have a different opinion to you?

why do people keep saying goodbye to me?

peenutt · 23/10/2008 22:10

raven are you talking about me?

peenutt · 23/10/2008 22:13

HELLO

ravenAK · 23/10/2008 22:19

hey, well spotted!

Off to bed shortly. Enjoy your moment, won't you?

bekkaboo · 23/10/2008 22:22

think bad that everyone knows who your sister is now? The group is appalling and i wouldn't be surprised if all in were banned from FB.

peenutt · 23/10/2008 22:23

nobody knows who she is bekkaboo coz shes not in the group anymore.

bekkaboo · 23/10/2008 22:27

Oh thats good, problem over then for you. I just presumed it was the girl with young baby, bet im not the only one as she was last member.

Im sure the group will be removed soon, im really really shocked by it..

spookycharlotte121 · 23/10/2008 22:40

Peenutt you might not like asian people and you are entitled to your own opinion but do you not think that others on here might find it offencive and upsetting?

Most people are appologetic if they offend people, you on the other hand are reveling in this. Maybe you should just not post again on this thread and save yourself anymore enbaressment.

mooog · 23/10/2008 22:47

peenutt I agree with the well chosen words of nooOOOoonki

FUCK OFF NOW DEAR!!!!

SmallShips · 23/10/2008 22:49

Shes been banned.

SnoopDog · 23/10/2008 22:52

who has been banded?

SnoopDog · 23/10/2008 22:53

lol at banded (dd feeding on knee)

banned

LittleMissBliss · 23/10/2008 22:57

I presumed the step sister was the one holding a baby. I'm surprised that anyone would want to join that group! How awful. peenutt has been banned i hope. Total nut job!

potatofactory · 27/10/2008 09:00

I just clicked on the group - it is still there. I have reported it as well, but maybe they are not going to do anything? They must have had loads of reports.

That's outrageous - what horrible nasty people. Surely, it has to be blocked!

lowrib · 27/10/2008 10:52

mamakim I really think you should mention it to her, for two reasons ...

You say she's very young.

Firstly, as she's now left the group it is possible it was a mistake of some kind, and doesn't actually reflect her views - e.g. it's possible that someone she knows joined her as a joke, or out of spite, and she left when she found out she'd joined it. I know a group of young people who are constantly doing this kind of thing to each other - not racist stuff, but signing each other up to all sorts of embarrasing things if one of them is careless enough to leave themselves logged in to FB etc, or to reveal their password.
Of course it's very probable she joined the group deliberately, but you won't be able to rule this out unless you ask her.

Secondly, as she's young, it's now that her opinions are being formed. Especially if you've been getting on, it's important that she knows that you don't find these kind of views acceptable. Her views may change over time. I gained some new family about 15 years ago. When I met them they were in their early teens. I really liked them, and was very disappointed to hear them express racist opinions. About 5 or 6 years later I overheard then berating someone for being racist, and I commented that their views had changed. They told me they'd grown up, basically, that there were only white people where they grew up, and they had gone with the flow, as they hadn't known any better. As they got older and had more experience of life they saw sense, and are two lovely young men now without a racist bone in their bodies. It helps that their family are not at all racist - would it be worth metioning it to her family? Have you spoken to your mum about it - perhaps she can shed some light on it?

pingping · 27/10/2008 11:19

Just report group but to be honest there is loads of weird sick groups on FB and alot of racist groups as well BNP etc

Maybe you sister just clicked joined group through a group request I know I do that alot when I have loads of request don't even look at what groups I am joining.

pingping · 27/10/2008 11:30

It usually takes a week or so for FB to delete groups etc I know one of the hate groups about Alex from bb9 was very racial and loads of people reported it and its still there.

Didn't read all of the thread is your SS still a member of the group?

TinkerBellesMum · 27/10/2008 11:34

I've added it to my posted items and asked people to report it that way. I was surprised as I have friends who don't believe in censorship and they've reported it.

dilemma456 · 27/10/2008 16:27

Message withdrawn

dilemma456 · 27/10/2008 16:34

Message withdrawn

TinkerBellesMum · 28/10/2008 12:29

Apparently it has now been taken down.

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