To want to do something unspeakably horrid to my h

[Prufrock]

Who is not even d today. He's gone off to work (for the second time in as many months) with my keys as well as his. Which means I have no way of getting in the car. I am ill (sinking cold and feverish) and so had to walk to school this am (OK, so, it's only 20 minutes, but it was cold and I'm ill dammit). More importantly I need to take the children swimming this afternoon, and take 4 children to gym club tomorrow afternoon, and go out on Thursday night to do a pre-school staff appraisal, and pick up dog food - none of which are possible without a car.
It also means I have to walk the dogs in the village (I know it sounds ridiculous but I normally drive them a couple of miles so they can have a good run in the woods/by the river)

And what really pisses me off is that he thinks that I have no right to be cross because it was an accident. I know it was an accident, but it was also a bloody stupid thing to do, and saying that there isn't anything you can do about it because you have a busy day doesn't actually help. I know you have 7 meetings booked in, but it wouldn't be that fucking difficult for you to make one simple phone call to your secretary and ask her to arrange a bloody courier to meet you at one of your "meetings" (breakfast at Chez Gerards, coffee at Starbucks, lunch at Coq d'Argent!) and put yourself out minimally so that I can possibly not be totally screwed until you get back late on Thursday. Or even if you could turn your fucking phone on so I can get in touch with you to check exactly where you are going to be at a given time so that I can arrange for a courier to come and pick them up! BUt no, your job is so much more important than any plans I might have made for myself or your children and can't possibly be interrupted at all to fix your fuck up, because it's my job to sort out your messes and just deal with all the crap that happens.

The bit about his phone being turned off would make me the most Not surprised you are v angry.

We have had key issues in the past (taking wrong keys etc, or him taking all the back door keys etc). Every night now one of us checks that all the keys are in the kitchen drawer and not in random coat pockets.

((hugs)) What a nightmare. Get a spare key, keep it away from dh. YANBU

I agree, he should get the keys back to you. In future, make more copies of the car keys, and keep a spare set with you at all time.

i would want to torture him then kill him.

YANBU - I'd be fuming too.

I hope he sees the error of his ways...!

tell him you are going to hire a car unless he sends the keys pronto. oh and tell him from me that he is a nob

i know what you mean about his job is so important if i have to phone my husband at work (only vv ocassionaly) I get i am working cant you wait until i get home etc even if this means i cant do something that day

Ooh yes, hire a car!

Accidents only count if they are. Twice in two months is practically a trend. YANBU

Yes definitely hire a car (a very expensive one at that) and think of a way to make sure he never does it again, very slack of him...

YANBU. I would want to divorce him. Definitely hire a car unless he has the keys back to you by end of school day. And use his credit card.

And no, I can't just get taxi's, because the children's car seats are locked in the car, and yes,at 6 and 4 they do still need bloody car seats, which you'd know if you ever came out of your study long enough to do anything with us at the weekends. And yes it is that important that we go swimming tonight because dd is, as I told you last week doing her test this week to see if she can move up a group and she's very nervous about it and really needs a confidence boost right no, which again, you'd know if you ever looked up from your bloody PC screen. And posting them back to me is the most inane idea I've ever heard, because the postman comes when I am taking the kids to school in the morning so won't drop off a recorded delivery without a signature, and I can' gte to the post office to pick them up without the bloody car.

And I'm ILL

hire a car and borrow child seats

hope you feel better soon

And why oh why do you always (OK slight exaggeration) save your screw ups until just before we are doing something really nice (10th wedding anniversary, romantic weekend away) so that I am still sheeting with your complete and utter lack of respect for me when I should be enjoying myself with you on the rare occasion of actually getting to spend any time with you.

Oh boy do I symapthise with you. My DH has done this twice too. He needs to get the keys to you today, it's his problem how he does it, not yours.

if this was posted in relationships all the man haters would be telling you to leave him!

you aren't required by law to have car seats in a taxi, so I would get taxis and give himthe bill when he comes back
That'll teach him

No it won't teach him actually. Money is not an issue (I know, we are v. lucky). I can spend my way out of any problem, I just hate the fact that it has to be me fixing it, and I can't even yell at him, because he is incredibly busy and stressed and it was an accident, I'm just so so sick and tired of everything in our lives revolving around his need to focus on work, even when I know I should be grateful for the money it brings in. And I'm now feeling very sorry for myself because how pathetic is it have to rant on Mumsnet instead of to him

My dh used to do this too. I've had to take the cat to the vet in a taxi - thank heaven the taxidriver was understanding and the cat wasn't incontinent/vomiting!!

I once made him come all the way back down from London, and met him at the station so he could hand the keys back to me.

In the long term I followed a friend's advice and put a big, pink, sparkly keyring on my keys so that it was far harder for him to pick them up by accident.

You have all my sympathy on this, and every right to yell. My dh never seemed to appreciate how much it flucked up my day either - and I didn't have mumsnet then either, so my poor friends had to bear the brunt of my rants.

OK - the stockbroking community has rallied round, seeing as dh still hasn't picked up his phone, and I managed to track him down in a client's reception, and the courier has just picked up my keys and is on his way here. And dh is probably going to be rather embarrassed because half the city now knows that he took my keys to work and I don't care.

Lol Prufrock. Glad you got it sorted out - and maybe the embarrassment will stop him doing it again - we can but hope!

I think spare keys and pink sparkly keyring are the best suggestions here

Pru it sounds to me like you are angrier about much more than your dh taking your keys.

Does he know how you feel about his work?

I am guessing Prufrock that your DH does something in the city - banking I'd guess by stress levels? So the work life balance chat is hard?

While I have some sympathy for him not being around much (note, only some), he shouldn't be screwing you around by doing stupid things like taking car keys etc. if money is not an issue and this is regular issue, then I agree, get more keys made. Have keys kept with his assistant too as she's desk bound and can put them in the car. Tell him to make sure his assistant understands she has to help him with this.

But... overall, it seems you're feeling frustrated about lack of attention and care generally? Which is a far bigger, and longer term issue.

You sound poorly and pissed off. Have a lemsip and watch the telly for a bit (preferably Jeremy Kyle as this will make you feel so much better about your own relationship).