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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Am interested in opinions .... what would you do in this situation?

36 replies

ghosty · 20/10/2008 13:55

Through Facebook I have got in touch with many members of my extended family, many of whom I have never physically met. I have loads of first cousins, all a fair bit older than me and many of them have adult children now. One of those adult children has married and had a baby and his wife has made friend with me on FB ... all lovely and hunky dory.
Today she posted a whole lot of photos on FB of her DH's sister's recent visit to them (remember that these are cousins I have never met and the one I am in contact with is the cousin's wife). There are a few photos of them going off for a nice family day out and they took photos in the car of the sleeping baby and each other etc.

BUT. The baby (6 months old) is sitting on his auntie's lap in the back of the car and all the adults are safely strapped in. No car seat. No seatbelt for the baby. Sitting on his auntie's knee, asleep

I will admit to feeling sick. I haven't said anything to them. I don't even know these people.

What would you do in this situation.

OP posts:
Original poster
ghosty · 20/10/2008 13:56

It is late here so I may not reply to any replies straight away, not being rude. Will check in in the morning.

OP posts:
sb6699 · 20/10/2008 13:57

Pet hate of mine is children/babies without car seats

TBH - I don't think you know them well enough to comment though.

Overmydeadbody · 20/10/2008 13:57

I'd do nothing.

It is a photo. It could have been taken in a car park or while the car was stationery (maybe?).

Overmydeadbody · 20/10/2008 13:58

Are they living somewhere where car seats for babies are not a legal requirement?

Original poster
ghosty · 20/10/2008 13:59

No, definitely car moving ... you can tell ... trees blurred out of the window.
It is a pet hate of mine too....

OP posts:
CuppaTeaJanice · 20/10/2008 13:59

Are you sure the baby was sat on a lap for the journey? They may have put him there for the photo.

Is there a relative who knows them better who could have a tactful word?

Original poster
ghosty · 20/10/2008 14:01

Well, they don't live in Europe or Australia. I don't know the laws in the country in which they live but yes, OMDB you are probably on to something there.
But my cousins were brought up in a country where it most certainly IS a legal requirement. Which is why I am so surprised I suppose.

OP posts:
branflake81 · 20/10/2008 14:02

YABU. You don't know these people, I'd just leave it.

Original poster
ghosty · 20/10/2008 14:03

No the photos are clearly taken in sequence en route - first my cousin driving (blurred trees) then one auntie in the back and then the other auntie with the baby asleep on her lap.

OP posts:
morningpaper · 20/10/2008 14:03

I don't understand - you say "I don't even know these people" so what is the problem?

People take risks with their children all the time I'm afraid.

I see people turning up to school with loads of unstrapped-in children in their cars. It is irritating but stupid people do stupid things.

Original poster
ghosty · 20/10/2008 14:05

I am being unreasonable?
I haven't said anything to them, or done anything ...
Maybe AIBU wasn't the best place to put this on second thoughts ... oops.
I just wanted to know what other people might do in this situation.

OP posts:
morningpaper · 20/10/2008 14:06

I would think I am related to idiots

and move on to a more interesting profile

pamelat · 20/10/2008 14:07

I know that people on here will say that you are being judgmental and who are you to intervene etc, but I (preciously? - you've all made me paranoid!!) do worry about unsecured babies in cars.

I saw a woman driving the other day with her young baby on her lap!! AT the steering wheel, presumably not strapped it. I was horrified. I was tempted to call the registration number in to the police but that would have meant using my phone and driving - just as dangerous really

If someone drove MY DD somewhere unsecured, for any reason other than to get her to A&E or similar, I would never speak to them again.

I don't think that you can "do" anything about it, maybe a light comment about "oh we have to use child seats here" but it doesnt look like you know them well enough, nor that they will change their ways. And like OMDB says they may have been parked up??? Hopefully.

Original poster
ghosty · 20/10/2008 14:07

I don't know them in that I haven't met them. But they are related to me. The baby is my cousin's grandchild.
I just wanted to know what people thought - I haven't DONE anything to be unreasonable about.

OP posts:
Original poster
ghosty · 20/10/2008 14:08

Yes, MP ... that's kind of what I did and then after thinking a bit more I thought, perhaps I ought to do something, what does MN think ...

OP posts:
pamelat · 20/10/2008 14:08

I know you say you don't know them but is the baby a relative of yours too?

Again, I dont think that you can "do" anything. They are clearly stupid

GhostlySinCity · 20/10/2008 14:09

it happens alot at the beach, near the ocean. One of my pet hates too

Original poster
ghosty · 20/10/2008 14:09

Um, MP ... while you are there ... have you seen our rebellion thread??

OP posts:
pingping · 20/10/2008 14:10

Ummm there aint much you can do espeically with people you don't really know plus you was not there and to be frank it aint your business.

I would leave it as it is if it was someone close to you then maybe you was able to say something but even then its touching on a sore subject

Original poster
ghosty · 20/10/2008 14:11

Please MorningPaper, take a look
Sorry, hijacking of my own thread ... how bizarre
Back to the photos of my cousin's baby ...

OP posts:
Cheeseandseveredfingersarnie · 20/10/2008 14:12

agree with mp.makes me cross when people dont use carseats so i can see where your coming from.

BalloonSlayer · 20/10/2008 14:20

Could you say you know someone who is coming on holiday to their country and is fretting about bringing her carseat... you had said to your friend that you didn't think you have to use them in that country as they didn't in their pics, but she is still worried, have they any advice???

solidgoldskullonastick · 20/10/2008 14:29

I think you should mind your own business. Squealing about carseats is one of the mose annoying, precious, unnecessary forms of parent-bullying going.

lizziemun · 20/10/2008 14:57

I don't think you can do anything, but that doesn't mean you can't be annoyed about the fact that baby is not in a car seat.

FWIW i would judge, like i judge the family who turn up in a transit type van to pick their children up from dd1 school. With the parents in the front with seatbelts on and their children the youngest about 3 and a couple older one in the back of the van.

pamelat · 20/10/2008 16:56

"Squealing about carseats is one of the mose annoying, precious, unnecessary forms of parent-bullying going"

Unnecessary bullying? Is it not life and death or am I mistaken?

Its also the law, presumably for a reason.

We aren't talking grown up children but babies.