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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to not want to give out sweets or anything to trick or treaters and

38 replies

ButtonMeUp · 18/10/2008 23:12

not to allow ds1 to go trick or treating? I have a young baby who will get woken everytime the doorbell goes and i hate it anyway. Think it is fun to dress up but absolutely detest the knocking on peoples door business.

Apparantly round here they get nasty and if you have lights on they knock and knock and then they damage stuff. Am actually looking at holday cottages so i can not be around for it all.

OP posts:
matildax · 18/10/2008 23:25

buttonmeup, while my dd loves the dressing up on haloween, and i do allow her and some friends to knock on a select few doors, i understand what you mean.
my ds will be nearly two this year and will be joining in, but i never allow them to knock more than once at a door, and they understand that some people do not like haloween, and may be scared of the scary costumes.

if i was you, and you dont manage to get away, i would put a note on your door, saying baby sleeping, please do not disturb. then say happy haloween or something!! thats what i wish i had done when ds was small, cos it was very annoying.

i hate the teenagers the most, you know the ones with the scream masks who basically ask for cash!! my friend always gives them oranges, even if she has sweets and money to hand out!!!
hope your haloween is peaceful, whatever you decide to do
xx

barnsleybelle · 18/10/2008 23:26

I do think YAB a bit U if i'm honest.

I have ds who is 6 and dd who is a baby. We go trick or treating for an hour at teatime and then home. I ignore the bell after 7.30pm as i think all the little ones will be home by then anyway. The bell doesn't wake her.

We only knock on doors of people we know having said that....

2shoesdrippingwithblood · 18/10/2008 23:29

I am dreading it. I REFUSE to give the kids round here anything. the same kids that have taken the piss, keeping dd awake and taking the piss out of her.
but at the most I expect a couple of eggs.

Original poster
ButtonMeUp · 18/10/2008 23:32

IS the teenagers i am dreading, the shoved a stake into the side of one of the other mums cars as she hadnt managed to get sweets and had forgotten it was halloween. Her dc was a baby and her dp had just had a serious accident so wasnt exactly on her mind! She now has already bought the sweets ready as it upset and frightened her.

THe doorbell does wake ds2 and ds1 is 8 and imo isnt going to miss out. He doesnt generally like sweets and he can still dress up, but will not allow him to go knocking on peoples doors asking for treats.

OP posts:
lilolilmanchester · 18/10/2008 23:33

no, YANBU, and glad I'm not alone. I am the cruellest Mum in the world, apparently, for not allowing DCs to go Trick or Treating. But I see it as begging. I wouldn't let them go to neighbours saying "give us some sweets or else" so why make an exception for one night? Don't answer the door either. Not to be mean to other kids but to prove a point to my own. No offense to those who love trick or treating, each to their own, and this is my pov and not going to change it!

feedthegoat · 18/10/2008 23:34

My DS was born on 28th oct and that 1st year when I was all hormonal and the little toddlers dressed up just made me want to cry because I thought they looked sweet! Taking him this year for 1st time (he'll be 3) but will probably only go to people I know or who have decorated windows etc

Original poster
ButtonMeUp · 18/10/2008 23:36

also i have drilled ds never to accept sweets from strangers etc etc.. so how stupid would it be to say well tonight go knock on peoples doors and ask for sweets.

He can do apple bobbing at home and have a pumpkin and stay up and tell scarey stories but he is not going out. No way.

OP posts:
herbietea · 18/10/2008 23:36

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

celtiethree · 18/10/2008 23:39

YABU - it is an annual event. You can debate whether it is an American invention but in Scotland we have always have had the tradition of guising which this seems to have replaced. What will you want when your child is older? Some of my best childhood memories were living in Germany and doing a similar event around November. If you don't want to partake go out or don't answer your door - but I get really cross with my neighbours that step in and out of what they approve of, and I also feel sad for their kids as they get older who don't join in and are not part of the playground conversation the next day. I always have a load of bags in for the trick of treaters and love that I am making their childhood memories.

Original poster
ButtonMeUp · 18/10/2008 23:40

celietree - is * years old for ds1 not old enough? THat is what i am doing and so therefore what is your point?

OP posts:
frustratedmumof3 · 18/10/2008 23:41

YANBU regarding the troublemakers and it all depends on the area you are in.

We have lived in Canada and Scotland and in both of those places it is a really nice experience because generally kids go out with their parents and it's fun as they would not normally go around knocking on strangers doors and people were v. friendly!. We moved into a new area here in the UK just before last Halloween and the DCs wanted to go out trick or treating because they expected it to be the same. I was dreading it as I knew it was looked on differently here but they were so excited that I had to take them. We only knocked on doors that had Halloween decs outside and put a pumpkin in our window so people knew that we were OK with it. At around 7.30, I took the pumpkin down and shut the curtains and it was fine.

Original poster
ButtonMeUp · 18/10/2008 23:41

8 years old. Sorry it is ds2 (9 months who will get woken)

OP posts:
MoonlightMcKenzie · 18/10/2008 23:42

The best way to put off trick or treaters is to put a sign on your door saying something like:

'Children welcome!'

Kids and parents of kids avoid your house like the plague then!

matildax · 18/10/2008 23:48

when we were small, halloween was such a small affair, the shops had none of the tat they have in now, its far too american if you ask me, we only ever had a turnip, and made outfits out of binbags and sheets etc..

we were only were allowed to go too friends in the streets houses, and we then would sing a scary song for whoever answered the door!!

i actually get rather scared myself on halloween, as the scream masks are hideous, plus i worry that the sweets are not actually sweets, and that they could harm my dcs!! yes i know im a paranoid lunatic.

having said that, i think its fun for the kids, and doesnt really do any harm, if you go to houses like feedthegoat mentioned, that have decorated windows and are clearly up for it.
i think the trick thing is stupid, and teenagers just use it as a excuse to be complete vandals imo. so i tell my kids that you must not damage anyone elses property or do anything that could cause distress to anyone else.
sadly the teenagers round here, have not been told that, or choose not to listen even if they have been warned.

3in3 · 18/10/2008 23:49

Hi there,
I'm totally with you. I struggle with halloween because its become SO comercialised and 99.9% of kids probably don't even know where the tradition came from. I also don't like the begging aspect of it, same goes for kids asking for "a penny for the guy" on bonfire and even expecting money for singing 1 verse of "silent night" at christmas. I'm all for children enjoying everything but not at cost to complete strangers. My kids will be going to a little halloween party at the local playgroup but i will never encourage trick or treating. I think Matildax's idea of putting a note on the door is brilliant so worth a try. But other than that, shut the curtains, put strong tape over your letter box (an elderly neighbour had fireworks put through her letterbox once, she ended up in hospital because of the smoke and stress), turn all the lights off, turn the telly away from the window and have a nice movie night with a few little treats for your kids and don't answer the door because its a special night for them. Its something lovely and fun you've done with your kids without getting nervous or stressed. All the best and don't let a handful of bored teenagers wear you down, it'll be over just as quick as it begins.

Niecie · 18/10/2008 23:53

No YANBU.

Thankfully my DSs aren't in the slightest bit interested and nor is anybody else around here. I only know one family who even bothers to dress up. Only had one knock on the door in 4 years and I didn't answer it so don't even know for sure if it was Hallowen related anyway.

blinks · 19/10/2008 00:38

christ, cheer up you lot

sheesh

celtiethree · 19/10/2008 00:49

Buttonmeup - my point is that your DC1 will love it, your 9 nmth old will be woken up but it is one day in the year. I get frustrated with my neighbour as her little boy would just love the kids going to her door and he would love to go trick or treating himself!. I have a baby and don't care that he gets woken up by people coming to the door, if he didn't settle I would lift him and get him to join it - he loves seeing other people.

That said where I live more people do go out and I appreciate the effort that children make in getting dressed to - roll on the 31st! I will have a vampire, a witch and a pumpkin!

shinyshoes · 19/10/2008 08:18

Hoorah!! I wanted to start a thread like this but thought i'd get flamed.

I loathe trick or trreating and hate answering the door every few seconds.

Plus the kids round here are nasty, I 've had the police on them a few times, my youngest has had a knife held up to him by one of the samller little s**ts, they've intimidated me in my own home and shouted abouse at me in the street.

They are getting fuck all off of me this year. I will not be answering the door.

It's a shame becuase the very little ones will be suffering as I can't vet who is at the door.

So none of them are getting anything.

littlewhitebull · 19/10/2008 10:23

Trick or treating is a horrible American import.

When I was young we used to "guising" and we'd only get something if we performed something for the person who answered the door (a joke, a dance, whatever).

This "trick or treat" nonsense is horrible. I think you're quite right not to open the door to them if you don't want to.

jellybeans · 19/10/2008 13:38

I don't answer the door (day or night unless I know who it is or am expecting someone) if DH is at work, it could be anyone. DS is also terrified of the scary masks etc. I also would rather keep the money for my own kids. Was going to go to a local kids party instead but DS not keen. I will turn lights off and ignore door and hope for no damage! There are alot of elderly people around here who are terrified of halloween. I think the concept of trick or treat is odd. I wouldn't take sweets of strangers, who knows where they have been. My older kids did it once with some neighbours kids but I don't encourage it and they haven't done it since.

nolongeraworriedmummy · 19/10/2008 13:44

I put a big sign up when dd was a baby, please do not knock as newborn baby asleep and despite living in the most horrendous area no one did, was gobsmacked lol! We usually go away for halloween now or dd goes to a party of a disco. She is not to go trick or treating.

MrsSnape · 19/10/2008 14:27

YANBU! I hate trick or treaters.

It especially annoys me that the brats who knock on my door expecting MONEY are the same brats that chuck stuff at my car and damage stuff in my garden throughout the year.

I'll be ignoring the door all night.

platypussy · 19/10/2008 14:37

YANBU - we are deliberately going out that night!

UnquietDad · 19/10/2008 14:37

I hate it too. I refuse to answer the door. DW is more indulgent.

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