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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to tell off visitng child?

76 replies

upsetandangry · 15/10/2008 19:15

like when they are round playing in my garden (age 5/6)? If say dd goes to the loo and while gone the visiting child corners one year old ds in playhouse pointing at him, holding his clothing and hitting his face with a stone ?

Is it wrong to run over removing visitor from ds shouting "hey what you doing" then march the child back home? Should something different be done? I did then confront parent who indicated i was out of order for upsetting their child and they are 5 so it is an allowable activity? I am all a fluster.

WHat would you do in this situ - did i get it all wrong? Relations are already strained!

OP posts:
SmugColditz · 15/10/2008 19:16

YANBU

other parent pissed off at her child's behavior being fucking appalling, that's all, and taking it out on you.

Hassled · 15/10/2008 19:16

If I saw a 5/6 year old hit a 1 year old on the face with a stone I would have reacted exactly as you did. Never an allowable activity - the parents are completely deluded.

dustystar · 15/10/2008 19:17

YANBU - your house your rules.

AbbeyA · 15/10/2008 19:20

YANBU- hopefully anyone would do the same.

Twiglett · 15/10/2008 19:22

exactly what you did

parent reacted oddly .. but did you go in all guns blazing

Original poster
upsetandangry · 15/10/2008 19:22

She indicated i was a bit precious! As if! (well ok maybe a bit). 'she is only 5' was th replly 'he is only one' i ermm calmly replied.

OP posts:
Twiglett · 15/10/2008 19:23

yeah cos lots of houses don't have the rule ' you must not hit a toddler in the face with a rock'

Original poster
upsetandangry · 15/10/2008 19:28

Well i was red and shaking but was calm, i said why we had sent her back and she said she heard me shout at her (we are neighbours i wanst that loud you understand) all i said was 'what you doing and right off home.....', when i called the parent was sat on the laptop (praying not on mumsnet) and the child was already out playing again. I replied yes i shouted to get her off him and perhaps she could have a word as earlier she also stamped on my dd hand then refered to her as a baby when she got upset. DD desperatly still wants to play with her in the future, what can i do? A while back she encouraged my dd to throw sand over the babys head out of the sand pit. It is wrong. Yes im precious but why should i not be.

OP posts:
Flamesparrow · 15/10/2008 19:30

"yeah cos lots of houses don't have the rule ' you must not hit a toddler in the face with a rock'"

poppy34 · 15/10/2008 19:31

is this child called damian? ok I may not have much experience of little children but hitting with rock of anyone ESP a one year old wrong.. I'd have been more than red in face if someone did that to my dd so YANBU

DesperateHousewifeToo · 15/10/2008 19:31

YANBU for telling the child off but I don't think I would have 'marched the child home' and confronted the parents.

If the child had not stopped hitting after being told to stop (and hopefully, saying sorry) then I might have taken him home but would not have been confrontational.

Original poster
upsetandangry · 15/10/2008 19:32

it wasnt just a rock flame it was lovely ornamental purple slate! tis sharp stuff!

OP posts:
wotulookinat · 15/10/2008 19:32

YANBU. Surely a five year old would know that was wrong.

Original poster
upsetandangry · 15/10/2008 19:33

Desperate - after ealier meanness i had just had enough of the bullying. It was about time to come in anyway for my two.

OP posts:
S1ur · 15/10/2008 19:34

sounds pretty reasonable to me.

Including the taking home... especially following previous misdemeanors that day.

Twiglett · 15/10/2008 19:36

child bloody well deserved to be marched home

she's 5

god when do some people expect their children to have rules of behaviour .. because I only accept toddler behaviour up to the age of 3

Flamesparrow · 15/10/2008 19:36

bullying with style

YANBU

mmelody · 15/10/2008 19:36

YANBU Your house your rules. I would have done exactly the same.

Original poster
upsetandangry · 15/10/2008 19:39

thankyou i dont feel as shakey now (southern comfort kinda helped).

I am praying she was on rightmove looking to move which is a distinct possibility.

OP posts:
SmugColditz · 15/10/2008 19:48

I have a five year old and a two year old and hitting anyone in the face with a rock - well, I would tell the two year old off severely, the five year old would get a bollocking of the highest order!

Turniphead1 · 15/10/2008 19:50

YANBU. Am bemused by the "house rules" comments. I think it would be a fairly standard bare minimum of behaviour for a 5 year old. rather than something specific to your home only.

clam · 15/10/2008 19:50

Well, if the child was unduly upset, maybe it'll stick in her mind that what she did was wrong. And, just maybe, she'll think twice about doing it again.

Ripeberry · 15/10/2008 19:54

You usually find that the parents who think their child can never do wrong, are the ones who have children from hell

potatofactory · 15/10/2008 20:00

I would want to be part of a community where children are disciplined, when necessary, by available adults. And the adults should put their insecurities (or whatever) aside and show a united front in the interests of promoting good behaviour! In an ideal world, obviously.

Original poster
upsetandangry · 15/10/2008 20:01

Dh listened through the fence when mother asked what she had done to be sent home - child said she didnt know which is why i went round a min later to fill her in (in the verbal sense not to bash the parent you understand). DD is 6 on sat and i was going to be neighbourly and invite in - dont feel at all neighbourly now.

OP posts:
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