Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to tell off visitng child?

76 replies

upsetandangry · 15/10/2008 19:15

like when they are round playing in my garden (age 5/6)? If say dd goes to the loo and while gone the visiting child corners one year old ds in playhouse pointing at him, holding his clothing and hitting his face with a stone ?

Is it wrong to run over removing visitor from ds shouting "hey what you doing" then march the child back home? Should something different be done? I did then confront parent who indicated i was out of order for upsetting their child and they are 5 so it is an allowable activity? I am all a fluster.

WHat would you do in this situ - did i get it all wrong? Relations are already strained!

OP posts:
SmugColditz · 15/10/2008 19:16

YANBU

other parent pissed off at her child's behavior being fucking appalling, that's all, and taking it out on you.

Hassled · 15/10/2008 19:16

If I saw a 5/6 year old hit a 1 year old on the face with a stone I would have reacted exactly as you did. Never an allowable activity - the parents are completely deluded.

dustystar · 15/10/2008 19:17

YANBU - your house your rules.

AbbeyA · 15/10/2008 19:20

YANBU- hopefully anyone would do the same.

Twiglett · 15/10/2008 19:22

exactly what you did

parent reacted oddly .. but did you go in all guns blazing

Original poster
upsetandangry · 15/10/2008 19:22

She indicated i was a bit precious! As if! (well ok maybe a bit). 'she is only 5' was th replly 'he is only one' i ermm calmly replied.

OP posts:
Twiglett · 15/10/2008 19:23

yeah cos lots of houses don't have the rule ' you must not hit a toddler in the face with a rock'

Original poster
upsetandangry · 15/10/2008 19:28

Well i was red and shaking but was calm, i said why we had sent her back and she said she heard me shout at her (we are neighbours i wanst that loud you understand) all i said was 'what you doing and right off home.....', when i called the parent was sat on the laptop (praying not on mumsnet) and the child was already out playing again. I replied yes i shouted to get her off him and perhaps she could have a word as earlier she also stamped on my dd hand then refered to her as a baby when she got upset. DD desperatly still wants to play with her in the future, what can i do? A while back she encouraged my dd to throw sand over the babys head out of the sand pit. It is wrong. Yes im precious but why should i not be.

OP posts:
Flamesparrow · 15/10/2008 19:30

"yeah cos lots of houses don't have the rule ' you must not hit a toddler in the face with a rock'"

poppy34 · 15/10/2008 19:31

is this child called damian? ok I may not have much experience of little children but hitting with rock of anyone ESP a one year old wrong.. I'd have been more than red in face if someone did that to my dd so YANBU

DesperateHousewifeToo · 15/10/2008 19:31

YANBU for telling the child off but I don't think I would have 'marched the child home' and confronted the parents.

If the child had not stopped hitting after being told to stop (and hopefully, saying sorry) then I might have taken him home but would not have been confrontational.

Original poster
upsetandangry · 15/10/2008 19:32

it wasnt just a rock flame it was lovely ornamental purple slate! tis sharp stuff!

OP posts:
wotulookinat · 15/10/2008 19:32

YANBU. Surely a five year old would know that was wrong.

Original poster
upsetandangry · 15/10/2008 19:33

Desperate - after ealier meanness i had just had enough of the bullying. It was about time to come in anyway for my two.

OP posts:
S1ur · 15/10/2008 19:34

sounds pretty reasonable to me.

Including the taking home... especially following previous misdemeanors that day.

Twiglett · 15/10/2008 19:36

child bloody well deserved to be marched home

she's 5

god when do some people expect their children to have rules of behaviour .. because I only accept toddler behaviour up to the age of 3

Flamesparrow · 15/10/2008 19:36

bullying with style

YANBU

mmelody · 15/10/2008 19:36

YANBU Your house your rules. I would have done exactly the same.

Original poster
upsetandangry · 15/10/2008 19:39

thankyou i dont feel as shakey now (southern comfort kinda helped).

I am praying she was on rightmove looking to move which is a distinct possibility.

OP posts:
SmugColditz · 15/10/2008 19:48

I have a five year old and a two year old and hitting anyone in the face with a rock - well, I would tell the two year old off severely, the five year old would get a bollocking of the highest order!

Turniphead1 · 15/10/2008 19:50

YANBU. Am bemused by the "house rules" comments. I think it would be a fairly standard bare minimum of behaviour for a 5 year old. rather than something specific to your home only.

clam · 15/10/2008 19:50

Well, if the child was unduly upset, maybe it'll stick in her mind that what she did was wrong. And, just maybe, she'll think twice about doing it again.

Ripeberry · 15/10/2008 19:54

You usually find that the parents who think their child can never do wrong, are the ones who have children from hell

potatofactory · 15/10/2008 20:00

I would want to be part of a community where children are disciplined, when necessary, by available adults. And the adults should put their insecurities (or whatever) aside and show a united front in the interests of promoting good behaviour! In an ideal world, obviously.

Original poster
upsetandangry · 15/10/2008 20:01

Dh listened through the fence when mother asked what she had done to be sent home - child said she didnt know which is why i went round a min later to fill her in (in the verbal sense not to bash the parent you understand). DD is 6 on sat and i was going to be neighbourly and invite in - dont feel at all neighbourly now.

OP posts: