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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to get pissed off with class reps every year?

37 replies

TeacherSaysSo · 15/10/2008 16:23

If class reps are supposed to represent the class, why do they always organise their meet ups in the day?? Being a working mum means it is hard to find time to say hello at the school gates, and to be able to meet up with mums at an organised event would be great. However, at my kids school they jusy don't bother. I've been polite and everything, but they're not interested and I have to wait for the annual xmas do to meet up. I know I can try and rinf mums individually but that's not the point - surely a class rep should make a blimin effort..grrr!

and I really don't meanthis to turn into a SAHM vs working mums, I just want to know if I ma being unreasonable to be getting so cross!!!

OP posts:
IotasCat · 15/10/2008 16:34

why don't you ring up you class rep and talk to her about it? you can't be the only working mother in the school

Mercy · 15/10/2008 16:37

What do you mean by class reps? Do you mean a form of PTA?

Our PTA has class reps but we rarely meet up tbh. The chair sometimes organises meetings at her house in the evening or even down the pub!

TheCrackFox · 15/10/2008 16:38

TBH I would need a gun to my head to want to socialise with some of the mums round here. Most are lovely but there are a handful that are positively terrifying.

soultaken · 15/10/2008 16:41

Why don't you become a class rep? That way, you can organise the meet ups when it's convenient for you.

policywonk · 15/10/2008 16:42

We always have our class meet-ups in the evenings at the local pub. It's not down to the class rep to organise it though - we pretty much take it in turns.

Can you get hold of a class contact sheet and email around to see whether anyone else fancies an evening meet-up? Not worth getting cross with the rep over, IMO. Is organising meet-ups a 'formal' part of her responsibilities (as much as anything is formal in this context)?

Original poster
TeacherSaysSo · 15/10/2008 16:43

well I got really peed off yesterday because the new class rep emailed everyone and said hi I'm the rep tell me if you have any ideas etc for the year - and I pointed out that meet ups seem to be in the day. She was sympathetic and agreed cos she used to work and understood, then today sent out a mail saying the first hello to the new class will be at her house...next monday morning..... of course!!

OP posts:
IotasCat · 15/10/2008 16:46

email her back and say well I hope that the second meetup will be in the evening for all us working mums

Judd · 15/10/2008 16:46

Complete opposite here - all our class meet ups for DD's Yr 2 class are in the evening at the pub. DS's Reception class has quite a few single parents, or mums with husbands working away/late and so we have tended to go down the morning coffee route. In fact, we are meeting for bacon barmcakes next week straight after dropping off - yay!

Original poster
TeacherSaysSo · 15/10/2008 16:47

soultaken when you say "when it's convenient for you." but that's the point, its not meant to be a social gathering to suit reps, but everyone. It is part of their formal responsibilities in this school, but there's a lot of wealthy SAHMs who wouldn't dream of going down the pub and would lol at the thought!! That would be fine by me though!

OP posts:
soultaken · 15/10/2008 16:47

YABU - offer to host the next meeting at your house in the evening

IotasCat · 15/10/2008 16:49

it is very difficult to arrange a meeting that suites everyone - in fact it is impossible as people have diferent commitments and availability - as Judd has already pointed out

Original poster
TeacherSaysSo · 15/10/2008 16:55

Sounds like its not an issue for other working mums though, is it just this school or me?

OP posts:
policywonk · 15/10/2008 16:56

Maybe the rep is taking path of least resistance by doing what's been done before?

Email her saying that you're happy to host the next meetup, but that it must be in the evening.

Mercy · 15/10/2008 16:58

There should be a compromise.

Sometimes in the evening, sometimes in the daytime.

(I still don't know what you mean by a class rep though!)

Original poster
TeacherSaysSo · 15/10/2008 17:10

class reps volunteer to get the parents to socialise and meet up and to organise gifts for the teacher at the end of the year etc. Its obviously voluntary but plenty want to volunteer. probably because they see it as a way of expanding their social life (cynic that I am!)Aren't there any on mumsnet at all?

OP posts:
Mercy · 15/10/2008 17:21

The class reps at our school are there simply to ask and/or encourage other parents to help out at school or PTA events.

Or to act as an informal information channel between the school and parents.

We don't arrange parent get togethers and we certainly don't organise presents for teachers!

donnie · 15/10/2008 17:21

it's a thankless task. People just complain and whinge, whatever you organise.

ComeOVeneer · 15/10/2008 17:23

I have negotiated with our local that we do a monthly class meet up the last wednesday of every month, in the evening at the pub, who give 5% of the profits from the drinks we buy to the school. Perhaps try and negotiate something similar?

AtheneNoctua · 15/10/2008 17:25

I am with you, TeacherSaySo. Our primary starts with a nursery year before reception. When DD was in the nursery I didn't know anyone. It annoyed me. So when reception was coming round one of the other parents said "You can really only be a class rep if you do the school run" I was flabergasted that as a working mum I was somehow less welcome as member of the school. So, of course, I thought the only appropriate course of action was to sign up to be the class rep. As it happens I am a mahvellous class rep. I'm never at the school gate, but oh so available on e-mail. And if you don't check yours you will miss the Parent' NIGHT out. Spiteful old cow that I am!

If I were to go back and select a primary for my kids all over again, I would look at how many full time working mums there were at the school. I am not the only one, but I am in a minority. It does get on my nerves. But, at the same time, I do realise no one does in intentionally to exclude me. It just happens 'cause they are all there chatting at the gate and so it naturally follows that out of sight out mind gets left out.

The best solution really is to just put your hand up, get involved, and make yourself known.

Original poster
TeacherSaysSo · 15/10/2008 17:25

ComeO that sounds wonderful!

Ho Ho Donnie!

OP posts:
SorenLorensen · 15/10/2008 17:26

Why don't you email the class rep and suggest that you host the next meet-up, in the evening, at your house?

I'm on the PTA and it really is a case of damned if you do and damned if you don't - if we have meetings in the day, some parents can't make it because they work; if we have meetings in the evening there are also parents who work evenings, and single parents can find it hard to get someone to mind the kids.

IotasCat · 15/10/2008 17:26

Athene - how do you communicate with those not on email? Of which we have quite a number at our school

Mercy · 15/10/2008 17:28

True donnie.

It's quite an eye-opener to hear what some parents come out with, both and , But at least I can sometimes direct them or encourage them to speak to the right member of staff or some other appropriate person.

But I really don't like the moaning and mild abuse which happens.

AtheneNoctua · 15/10/2008 17:29

That is a brilliant idea, COV! Do you mean a meet up for the class? the whole school? Just the PTA and class reps? How many show up?

sagacious · 15/10/2008 17:32

We don't have class reps.

Our PTA has a mixture of SAHM and WOHM, so we try to have an equal split of daytime and evening meetings (a lot of the SAHM's have no prospect of childcare for evenings so it would be unfair to just have full evening meetings.

It seems to work and all minutes are circulated to everyone to keep everyone informed.

You can't keep everyone happy all the time so aim for 50/50.

Comeoveneer i'm going to pinch that idea re the 5% pub deal. Considering the amount we drink money raised could rival the summer bazaar!